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thejohnsonszoo.com



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Titlethe johnson's zoo

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Words/Characters 1853
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Headings H1 1
H2 7
H3 3
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H1
the johnson's zoo
H2
wednesday, january 25, 2017
saturday, january 21, 2017
saturday, july 30, 2016
zoo archive
zoo me
zoobies
zoo blogs featuring:
H3
in my defense
don't try this at home!
on the road again
H4
H5
H6
strong
b
i
em
Bolds strong 0
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in my defense http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2017/01/in-my-defense.html
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ladder talk: http://thejohnsonszoo.blogspot.com/2008/06/ladder-talk.html
11:16 pm http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2017/01/in-my-defense.html
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don't try this at home! http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2017/01/dont-try-this-at-home.html
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5:22 pm http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2017/01/dont-try-this-at-home.html
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the toilet roll http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/search/label/the%20toilet%20roll
on the road again http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2016/07/on-road-again.html
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ladder talk: http://thejohnsonszoo.blogspot.com/2008/06/ladder-talk.html
9:07 pm http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2016/07/on-road-again.html
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in my defense http://www.thejohnsonszoo.com/2017/01/in-my-defense.html
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skip to main | skip to sidebar wednesday, january 25, 2017 in my defense in my defense, i drew the last cartoon when angie and i both thought that her fall on saturday was nothing more than a bruise. had i known that she had ripped her tendon off of her broken shoulder, i probably still would have laughed, but i might have toned down the finger pointing and the belly clutching. and i definitely would have waited, like a day, maybe even two, before publishing the cartoon. on monday, we knew something was strange when she still couldn't raise her arm higher than her waist - and trust me, we know strange. angie finally agreed to go to see a doctor, who gave her his highly professional medical opinion. 'of course it hurts - you fell on it.' oh, if only the doctor had ever met angie before. it didn't take long before the doctor reassessed his initial diagnosis and ordered an x-ray. 'okay, there is a piece that's broken off and it's the part where your tendon is attached to the shoulder, so i can understand why it is so painful.' after more than a decade of pure bliss, i can testify that angie just loves to be right. even with the immense pain, i'm quite sure that she was grinning like the village trump as the doctor was busy back-pedaling. all that fun came to a halt, though, when he explained that she would need to have an mri to see if she would need an operation. until the mri, she had to wrap herself like a mummy in an upper body brace. and that brings us to today. angie has problems driving with two hands and i value the lives of pedestrians, so i volunteered to drive her to the clinic. after four hours of tests and waiting rooms, we finally got to the see the doctor. yes, i'm pretty sure after all the waiting that they only have one. the doctor whisked in, picked up the chart and plopped down in his chair. 'so, does it still hurt?' 'yes.' 'of course it hurts - you fell on it.' i shit you not, i thought angie was going to try her damnedest to beat the doctor with her left hand. either the doctor has a sense of humor, which would be odd because he is german, or he saw 'the look' in angie's eyes. either way, he chimed in again before angie could figure out how to unravel herself. 'just kidding. let's look at the mri results.' in the end, the news was, mmmhh... let's just call it mixed. the tendon did not retract from the shoulder, so no surgery is needed. yeah! angie can go back to work tomorrow. i had somehow chalked this up to the negative side, but apparently she's one of those people that actually enjoys working. she cannot drive. for the sake of pedestrians everywhere, i saw this as a positive thing, but angie has a 'thing' about using public transportation. she gets to continue sporting the arm thong for the next 9 weeks. i think you know both my view and angie's view on how to tally this one. starting next week, she starts physical therapy so that in 10 weeks she can start working out again. when the doctor explained this, angie actually laughed out loud. so yeah, i think it's safer to say that in 10 weeks, angie could theoretically start working out. strike 'again' and emphasize 'start'. when we got home, angie was still feeling sorry for herself. simba, our extremely bizarre cat, who normally would have seized this opportunity to console her by peeing on her head or using her leg as a scratching post, decided for a change to afford angie the distinct honor of snuggling with him. yes, fine - i was jealous. in my defense, though, i was able to control my green streak by reminding myself that this day was all about angie falling out of a trashcan and not about me. -------------------------------------------- ladder talk: (i'm writing again, so back off on the fact that i forgot to do ladder talk tonight!) 1) what was the best part of your day? peter: zzzzzzzz.... david: zzzzzzzz.... tom: zzzzzzzz.... 2) what was the worst part of your day? peter: zzzzzzzz.... david: zzzzzzzz.... tom: zzzzzzzz.... 3) what would you like to do tomorrow? peter: zzzzzzzz.... david: zzzzzzzz.... tom: zzzzzzzz.... posted by steve johnson at 11:16 pm 2 comments labels: mama, simba saturday, january 21, 2017 don't try this at home! this morning, i asked david to take out the paper trash. he complained that it was so full that he couldn't possibly manage the task. that's when mama threw on her cape and came to the rescue. 'look, david, i'll show you a trick.' she then put her foot in the paper trash and started crushing the papers down with one shoe. this freed up some space, so she began pushing even harder. this worked so well that she thought it would be beyond brilliance to put both feet in and start frantically jumping up and down. on about the third hop, our flimsy plastic container had apparently had enough fun and sent angie on a 180 degree flip that ended with her shoulder and head getting a free but unwanted closeup of the floor. i think i showed great restraint by neither bursting into laughter, nor running for my camera. i even helped her up and asked her if we should go to the clinic, despite the general rule that weekend trips to the emergency room are normally reserved for the kids. angie has a high tolerance for pain, though, and can be more stubborn than our cat. so, instead of pushing the issue, i retreated to the kitchen, made sure she wasn't within earshot, and laughed my ass off. posted by steve johnson at 5:22 pm 1 comments labels: the toilet roll saturday, july 30, 2016 on the road again we hit the road early this morning and on the way to pennsylvania, we came across this diner. like me, it looked normal at first glance. then we looked at the fine print. that's right. this wasn't your average roadside diner. no, this was one of those unicorn diners, apparently owned by a guy named mike. i was tempted to pull over and see if the diner was for unicorn patrons or if crazy mike was serving unicorn burgers 24 hours a day, but we had a schedule to keep. our schedule included a stopover to visit my uncle bob. the boys had a blast playing in his 'secret basement'. now, before you weird types get the wrong idea, it was just an entertainment room downstairs that had a flat screen tv, stereo equipment and a lot of other breakable shit that made me a tad bit nervous. especially when i found out that they were playing a game that david had invented called 'ninja warrior'. bob found a solution for my nerves, though, which i called his 'secret garage'. the 'secret garage' was where bob stored his tasty home-brewed pale ale that would make doyle jealous. and thirsty. before happy hour became too happy, we went to go visit nana and the boys were mega impressed to meet their great-grandmother. the boys gave nana a bar of german chocolate and then promptly helped her eat it while they talked about life in germany. it was a memorable chocolate bar and they enjoyed every morsel. after nana-time, we took the ninja warriors back to bob's for dinner and a few more underground battles before bedtime. as we were getting the boys ready for bed, tommy screamed, as he normally does, that he had a wiggly tooth. peter and david winced knowingly and quickly left the room. what tommy apparently didn't know or remember is that angie gets kickbacks from the tooth fairy. she immediately head-locked him and began her patented pull-twist-yank method that has worked just fine with peter and david. unless you ask them. i thought i would help tommy out. after taking the picture, of course. 'butter buns, they were just playing "ninja warriors". are you sure that wiggly tooth is one of the ones that's supposed to come out?' sorry, tommy. i tried. -------------------------------------------- ladder talk: 1) what was the best part of your day? peter: that we went to uncle bob's, that we went to nana's and that we invented a new game. david: it was just great! that we came to bob and he's so nice, and that i met nana. tom: that we are sleeping by bob's and he's so cool and that we went to visit nana. 2) what was the worst part of your day? peter: that we had to leave new york. david: it was hard to say goodbye to nana because she is so nice. tom: nothing. i liked the whole day! 3) what would you like to do tomorrow? peter: i want to visit oma and pop-pop and hope for great weather and swim in the pool. david: i want to see pop-pop and oma - that's gonna be so cool. tom: i want to have fun with oma and pop-pop. posted by steve johnson at 9:07 pm 0 comments labels: bob, david, mama, nana, peter, tom older posts home subscribe to: posts (atom) the johnson's zoo zoo archive ▼  2017 (2) ▼  january (2) in my defense don't try this at home! ►  2016 (6) ►  july (3) ►  may (1) ►  april (2) ►  2015 (15) ►  december (2) ►  october (2) ►  september (1) ►  june (1) ►  february (1) ►  january (8) ►  2014 (26) ►  december (7) ►  july (1) ►  june (4) ►  may (6) ►  april (8) ►  2013 (29) ►  december (5) ►  november (4) ►  august (5) ►  july (2) ►  june (7) ►  may (6) ►  2012 (35) ►  december (7) ►  october (4) ►  september (3) ►  august (9) ►  july (1) ►  june (2) ►  may (5) ►  april (2) ►  january (2) ►  2011 (26) ►  december (4) ►  november (4) ►  october (1) ►  august (2) ►  june (7) ►  may (1) ►  april (3) ►  march (3) ►  january (1) ►  2010 (64) ►  december (8) ►  november (8) ►  october (3) ►  september (4) ►  august (2) ►  july (4) ►  june (7) ►  may (1) ►  april (4) ►  march (4) ►  february (9) ►  january (10) ►  2009 (115) ►  december (10) ►  november (6) ►  october (1) ►  september (7) ►  august (5) ►  july (12) ►  june (12) ►  may (14) ►  april (17) ►  march (10) ►  february (13) ►  january (8) ►  2008 (180) ►  december (27) ►  november (26) ►  october (26) ►  september (26) ►  august (32) ►  july (27) ►  june (16) zoo me steve johnson view my complete profile zoobies zoo blogs featuring: peter (304) david (300) tom (220) mama (187) the toilet roll (87) papa (86) opa (39) barbara (34) grams (32) sami (31) dalia (25) eisi (24) lauri (23) alessio (18) chiara (18) kika (17) sarah (17) patrick (13) artin (12) brian (10) sebastian (10) stephanie (10) arman (9) pop-pop (9) christine (8) clarice (8) armin (7) götz (7) leif (7) nil (6) other (6) ute (6) heidi (5) jen (5) lisi (5) nicole (5) sharpur (5) simone (5) vena (5) alex (4) clooney (4) daniel (4) flo (4) george (4) lena (4) luke (4) marie (4) mark (4) martha (4) veris (4) zoo related (4) doyle (3) elyas (3) gizma (3) isabel (3) jack (3) johnny (3) lisa (3) lola (3) martina (3) sandy (3) shayesteh (3) simba (3) sonja (3) amir (2) ben (2) bob (2) claudia (2) damo (2) dana (2) elina (2) hannes (2) jean (2) jerrell (2) jerry (2) john (2) johnny mac (2) karen k (2) karin (2) ken (2) klaus (2) mariam (2) matti (2) meyssam (2) mick (2) nonameyet (2) paul (2) shayeste (2) sioned (2) walid (2) william (2) zack (2) aaron (1) alex h (1) angelika (1) carol (1) caroline (1) christian (1) christina (1) christoph (1) clara (1) conor (1) dafydd (1) danie (1) deniz (1) emre (1) frederick (1) george o (1) gregor (1) handan (1) hans (1) hatch (1) herb (1) jamie (1) jil (1) johanna (1) joschi (1) joyce (1) karen (1) kay (1) kent (1) ladder talk (1) lenny (1) lili (1) lilly (1) liz (1) luca (1) lucy (1) lutz (1) magda (1) magdalena (1) manpreet (1) marie g. 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