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a gringo visits mexico http://gatorpress.com/?p=3772
ufos / flying saucers are in the immediate vicinity http://gatorpress.com/?p=3768
make me laugh… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3763
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3525
hands off my happy hour http://gatorpress.com/?p=3530
move over, asshole! http://gatorpress.com/?p=3499
rockabilly pioneer alvis wayne – bacliff, texas http://gatorpress.com/?p=3502
karaoke singer signs with columbia records http://gatorpress.com/?p=3541
i can’t feel right until these questions are answered about 9-11…. http://gatorpress.com/?p=3545
gifts i didn’t want http://gatorpress.com/?p=3509
make me laugh & i’ll buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3505
wacky la marque fire captain on paid vacation after “inappropriate” facebook posts… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3396
pyrotechnic pedophile sued http://gatorpress.com/?p=3392
make me laugh & i’ll buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3388
local man is new us yoga champion http://gatorpress.com/?p=3383
elvis has left the island… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3380
shotgun cat killer claims it was an act of compassion… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3377
lincoln, kennedy, and hitler had it right… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3374
tabc snitch app / goddam balloons http://gatorpress.com/?p=3335
gator’s rant: stop picking on bullies http://gatorpress.com/?p=3301
bad sam’s report: dick cheney’s bizarre actions on 9-11 http://gatorpress.com/?p=3318
make me laugh & i’ll buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3312
fbi says missing teen is likely a hooker by now… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3307
great moments in texas music – dooley wilson http://gatorpress.com/?p=3304
april fool point lovers take the plunge http://gatorpress.com/?p=3255
ken lay is alive & well… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3251
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3244
it really happened… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3241
dirty sally’s place out in bumfuk… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3237
clifton chenier, the king of the bayou http://gatorpress.com/?p=3233
gator’s rant: coping with uncooperative sharks http://gatorpress.com/?p=3226
smoking is once more cool (and healthy) http://gatorpress.com/?p=3190
attention earth http://gatorpress.com/?p=3186
great moments in texas music – lewisville, 1969 http://gatorpress.com/?p=3177
christianfarmersbootycall.com in da house http://gatorpress.com/?p=3174
dog the bounty hunter to pursue snowden bounty http://gatorpress.com/?p=3170
and now a word from our sponsor… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3166
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=3163
ten reasons the official story of 9-11 can’t be trusted http://gatorpress.com/?p=3156
nyc mayoral candidate weiner will stick it out http://gatorpress.com/?p=3153
know your rights! http://gatorpress.com/?p=3115
the amazing sippie walker of houston – first queen of the blues http://gatorpress.com/?p=3112
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer: http://gatorpress.com/?p=3106
armstrong forfeits remaining testicle in doping case, 5 year-old tased http://gatorpress.com/?p=3102
romneys encourage underpriveleged kids to try polo, yachting, and equestrian sports: http://gatorpress.com/?p=3099
bad sam: tax the churches to balance the budget http://gatorpress.com/?p=3095
coloring contest: we have a winner http://gatorpress.com/?p=3089
gator’s rant: cash windfall, advice to writers http://gatorpress.com/?p=3086
purple cow http://gatorpress.com/?p=3032
paid seawall parking is a tremendous success http://gatorpress.com/?p=3028
tripping daisy rises from deep ellum http://gatorpress.com/?p=3023
galveston “nightcrawler” arrested for felony stalking http://gatorpress.com/?p=3015
the assassination of reporter michael hastings: http://gatorpress.com/?p=3010
gator’s rant: dealing with the mean drunk http://gatorpress.com/?p=3005
at streetcar named deceit… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2953
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer http://gatorpress.com/?p=2959
it really happened… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2954
phil ochs – the singing journalist http://gatorpress.com/?p=2945
gator’s rant: adopting a mutt from the doggie jail http://gatorpress.com/?p=2938
the truth about waco – an eyewitness account http://gatorpress.com/?p=2930
ghosts of the coast: local haunted places http://gatorpress.com/?p=2926
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer http://gatorpress.com/?p=2922
it really happened… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2916
the first electric lead guitarist – t-bone walker http://gatorpress.com/?p=2908
gator’s rant: it pisses me off when… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2903
make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2852
how to get all tore down and have a real big time… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2791
bold teen saves his family from death in webster home invasion http://gatorpress.com/?p=2686
unsolved beach death update: http://gatorpress.com/?p=2679
why we must hate hugo chavez: http://gatorpress.com/?p=2675
san leon prepares for spring break http://gatorpress.com/?p=2670
police state mardi gras in galveston http://gatorpress.com/?p=2659
kangaroo court capers entertain in galveston county http://gatorpress.com/?p=2653
downtown galveston merchants want changes in mardi gras http://gatorpress.com/?p=2650
missing woman found in local bed http://gatorpress.com/?p=2646
miniature capsule will carry deadly germs across the universe http://gatorpress.com/?p=2643
medicinal pothead wins case http://gatorpress.com/?p=2640
make me laugh… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2630
50 years of government drug dealing http://gatorpress.com/?p=2626
texas outlaws in upset over south side http://gatorpress.com/?p=2623
the silencing of margie schoedinger: http://gatorpress.com/?p=2582
make me laugh and i will buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2578
protected witness getting settled in http://gatorpress.com/?p=2575
blind group sues over sob laws http://gatorpress.com/?p=2572
county attorney files lawsuit to require club to stop illegal activity http://gatorpress.com/?p=2569
electric reliability council meeting postponed due to power outage http://gatorpress.com/?p=2566
$1,000,000 cocaine found aboard crude oil tanker http://gatorpress.com/?p=2563
copper thieves busted by coppers http://gatorpress.com/?p=2560
environmentalist wackos blockade keytone pipeline offices http://gatorpress.com/?p=2557
houston rodeo music lineup: send in the clowns http://gatorpress.com/?p=2545
my new career as a poet… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2468
make me laugh and i will buy you a beer… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2137
marijuana shortage after hurricane sandy has yankee pot dealers driving south for supplies http://gatorpress.com/?p=2125
dickinson man calls 9-1-1 to report domino’s won’t deliver to him http://gatorpress.com/?p=2121
things to see before you die… http://gatorpress.com/?p=2099
where did the conservative movement go wrong? http://gatorpress.com/?p=2163
what now for business owners? http://gatorpress.com/?p=2086
it really happened http://gatorpress.com/?p=2082
gators rant: acronympomania http://gatorpress.com/?p=2053
the official story of 9-11: http://gatorpress.com/?p=1915
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gator press printing co. galveston, texas skip to content home ← older posts a gringo visits mexico posted on by gator traveling in mexico is fun except for a few minor details. like for instance, you have no idea what anyone is saying to you. and you imagine that the parts of the conversations you don’t understand are something they will laugh about with their friends for many years to come: me: how much is this t shirt? vendor: the t shirts which we are happy to sell to fat asshole gringo pigs like yourself for twice their real value are only 1200 pesos. of course, the only part of it that i can understand is “1200 pesos“. that’s why they are always smiling so much. the truth is that you don’t need to know spanish because everyone you interact with can get by in passable english anyway. so they wait patiently while you butcher their language and then ask you what you want in english. there are many cultural things to learn in mexico that are not mentioned in any of the guide books. (actually, i haven’t read any guide books, but i’m sure some things would not be mentioned in them.) for example, hotels in mexico use the mexican towel system. you have to sign out towels like books in a library and if you don’t return them to the front desk by 8 pm they charge your room the full cost of the factory that made the towels in the first place. a lot of travelers are worried about the drug dealers, kidnappers, and other criminals who run the country, especially in the border cities. such fears are silly. one good texan can quite easily kick the collective asses of an entire gang of  mexican gangsters, and they are very seldom brave enough to hassle us.  if you are accosted by a thug or criminal type, just flat out tell him something like: “pardone, monseur, but ich bin ein texan and you best keipen der fuchen mitzengrabbers offenhousen!” the most interesting part of being in mexico is the way you are viewed as a gigantic dollar bill with arms and legs. if you walk within 500 yards of any commercial establishment you are sure to be immediately assaulted with offers to sell you something, feed you something or do some unspecified thing to your body. “here, amigo, we have the biggest lobsters in town and a place is waiting for you at the best table in the restaurant where our waiter will massage your back and serve you the best tequila for only 5,000 pesos.” many merchants have perfected their lines over the years. my favorite was at a jewelry store in nuevo progreso: two men leaped up from their chairs with open arms and shouted in a loud voice. “ah welcome, welcome… we have been waiting patiently for you, se?or!” no one ever says this in real life. “where the hell have you been” is the usual line. but here in mexico, i am the messiah come at last! so i responded in a grande way, “yes, yes, i have been waiting for you too. at last we are all here together. now we can sit with our muchachos in a chalupa with our lumbago and drink a sombrero!” i don’t want to be the ugly american. but no matter what you do you seem to fall into the role anyway. so you are tempted to give up. “no, gracias.” you say repeatedly without eye contact each time you are asked to look at or buy something. i’m sure if i were in a car accident and the ambulance attendants came to help me i would say “no gracias” and be left for dead by the side of the road. i can’t say i’d blame them. (gator) style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-0985454595390990" data-ad-slot="4437754958" data-ad-format="auto"> posted in all posts | comments off ufos / flying saucers are in the immediate vicinity posted on by gator a careful examination of this photo, taken in san leon, shows what appears to be three flying saucers. the us government is never going to disclose what really was found at roswell, new mexico in 1951, when a “flying disk” containing 4 small humanoids crashed there. the army air force initially reported the crash of a ufo and the recovery, then later retracted the story. as a former military newsman, i can assure you that something like this would never have been given out to civilian news outlets until it had been confirmed. the public affairs officer at roswell army air field verified the facts before releasing them to the wire services, where the story made front page news across the us. what they army found at the crash site was reportedly some little guys about 4 feet tall, with very pale skin and huge eyes. others have seen the same kind of little guys since then. they’re called “gray aliens” by ufo conspiracy theorists. but they are not from outer space. they are actually from earth. the skin with no pigment and the large eyes indicate a subterranean creature, living in near complete darkness. these fellows die quickly in direct sunlight, which is exactly what happened to two of the humanoids who were reportedly still alive for awhile after the crash. the craft they were in was small, and very lightweight. not the sort of thing you would travel through space in. when you consider that the nearest habitable planet for humanoids is 300 light years from here, the idea that they would fly a tiny ship such a vast distance seems unlikely. humanoids require food, water, sleeping quarters and other things, especially on a 300 year voyage. the saucer at roswell came from earth, as do all flying saucers. here are a few of the logical reasons to believe this is so: 1. sir edmund halley, the mathematician and astronomer who first discovered halley’s comet, proved that the earth is hollow. he did so by measuring the mass of the moon based on the tides, and comparing it to the mass of the earth. his calculations prove that the earth must be at least partially hollow. his work was commended by isaac newton and others, and remains provable. 2. mass ufo sightings only started 2 weeks after the first atomic bombs were exploded. sightings have always been more common in areas where nuclear tests occur. that’s because these explosions shook the earth, and the people who live below noticed it, and decided to investigate. 3. reliable ufo sightings have always occurred at low altitudes, low enough for humans to breathe without bringing oxygen. ufos operate in the same range as helicopters. obviously they are made for low altitude surveillance. the disk shape is not desirable for travel through space, but is perfect for providing maximum lift with minimum power, as any frisbee enthusiast will tell you. this is a design which was created specifically for use in an atmosphere. 4. sightings of “alien” humanoids are always described as hairless. the lack of hair indicates they live in a place where there are no temperature extremes. that’s exactly the environment that is likely to exist below. 5. credible sightings occur at night. that’s because the little guys down below are blinded in sunlight, but they see clearly in darkness. their eyes have evolved to function in a realm where there is very little ambient light. in fact, bright light is a weapon to our underground friends, and they have been known to use it. there have been numerous ufo reports in which bright light was reportedly used to disorient witnesses. in fact, the only “weapon” these guys have ever been known to use against humans is light. 6. every human civilization has stories of the little people who live below. there are more reasons to believe in an underground race of humans than there are to believe they have come here from another planet. so we have no need to fear visitors from outer space, at least not at this time. but it might be a good idea to realize the true nature of ufos and the little aliens who drive them. they might have some technology which could keep us from totally wrecking our planet, and make our lives better. or maybe they will just kill us. either way, they are our neighbors and we do have common ancestors.  (gator) style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-0985454595390990" data-ad-slot="4437754958" data-ad-format="auto"> posted in all posts | comments off make me laugh… posted on by gator dave is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. he calls the bartender over and says, “i’d like to buy those two beautiful ladies a drink.” the bartender replies, “it won’t do you any good.” dave, with a confused look on his face says, “i don’t care what you think, i want to buy those ladies a drink.” the bartender delivers drinks to the ladies and the women acknowledge their drinks with a nod of their heads. twenty minutes later, dave approaches the ladies and says, “i’d like to buy you two another drink.” one of the ladies said, “it won’t do you any good.” dave says, “i don’t understand. what do you mean it won’t do me any good?” the first lady says, “we’re lesbians.” dave asks, “lesbians? what are lesbians?” the second woman replies, “lesbians… we like to lick pussies.” dave says, “bartender, three beers for us lesbians.” buddy and earl were standing at the urinals in a public lavatory, when buddy glanced over and noticed that earl’s penis was twisted like a corkscrew. “wow,” buddy said. “i’ve never seen one like that before.” “like what?” earl said. “all twisted like a pig’s tail,” buddy said. “well, what’s yours like?” earl said. “straight, like normal,” buddy said. “i thought mine was normal until i saw yours,” earl said. buddy finished what he was doing and started to give his old boy a shakedown prior to putting it back in his pants. “what did you do that for?” earl said. “shaking off the excess drops,” buddy said. “like normal.” “fuck!” earl said. “and all these years i’ve been wringing it out like a dishrag!” a man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend in a hotel. after having great sex, the girlfriend spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles – something she loved to do. as the man was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, “why do you love doing that so much?” “because” she replied, “i really miss mine.” mike and frank are sitting in a bar sipping johnny walker black label when frank noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. as he was getting up to talk to her the bartender said, “hey don’t worry about her, she is a lesbian!” frank, “lesbian or no lesbian, i get all of them,” and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. then stepping forward in a very sexy voice he said, “where exactly in lesbia, you from?” jerry walks into a bar ordered two shots of vodka. he drank the first and poured the second over his right hand. then he ordered another two shots of vodka, drank one and tipped the other over his right hand. after watching jerry do the same thing for third time, the bartender asked, “why do you keep wasting good drink?” jerry slurred, “if you must know, i am trying to get my date drunk.” style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-0985454595390990" data-ad-slot="4437754958" data-ad-format="auto"> posted in all posts | comments off ← older posts recent posts a gringo visits mexico ufos / flying saucers are in the immediate vicinity make me laugh… make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… hands off my happy hour move over, asshole! rockabilly pioneer alvis wayne – bacliff, texas karaoke singer signs with columbia records i can’t feel right until these questions are answered about 9-11…. gifts i didn’t want make me laugh & i’ll buy you a beer… wacky la marque fire captain on paid vacation after “inappropriate” facebook posts… pyrotechnic pedophile sued make me laugh & i’ll buy you a beer… local man is new us yoga champion elvis has left the island… shotgun cat killer claims it was an act of compassion… lincoln, kennedy, and hitler had it right… tabc snitch app / goddam balloons gator’s rant: stop picking on bullies bad sam’s report: dick cheney’s bizarre actions on 9-11 make me laugh & i’ll buy you a beer… fbi says missing teen is likely a hooker by now… great moments in texas music – dooley wilson april fool point lovers take the plunge ken lay is alive & well… make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… it really happened… dirty sally’s place out in bumfuk… clifton chenier, the king of the bayou gator’s rant: coping with uncooperative sharks smoking is once more cool (and healthy) attention earth great moments in texas music – lewisville, 1969 christianfarmersbootycall.com in da house dog the bounty hunter to pursue snowden bounty and now a word from our sponsor… make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… ten reasons the official story of 9-11 can’t be trusted nyc mayoral candidate weiner will stick it out know your rights! the amazing sippie walker of houston – first queen of the blues make me laugh & i will buy you a beer: armstrong forfeits remaining testicle in doping case, 5 year-old tased romneys encourage underpriveleged kids to try polo, yachting, and equestrian sports: bad sam: tax the churches to balance the budget coloring contest: we have a winner gator’s rant: cash windfall, advice to writers purple cow paid seawall parking is a tremendous success tripping daisy rises from deep ellum galveston “nightcrawler” arrested for felony stalking the assassination of reporter michael hastings: gator’s rant: dealing with the mean drunk at streetcar named deceit… make me laugh & i will buy you a beer it really happened… phil ochs – the singing journalist gator’s rant: adopting a mutt from the doggie jail the truth about waco – an eyewitness account ghosts of the coast: local haunted places make me laugh & i will buy you a beer it really happened… the first electric lead guitarist – t-bone walker gator’s rant: it pisses me off when… make me laugh & i will buy you a beer… how to get all tore down and have a real big time… bold teen saves his family from death in webster home invasion unsolved beach death update: why we must hate hugo chavez: san leon prepares for spring break police state mardi gras in galveston kangaroo court capers entertain in galveston county downtown galveston merchants want changes in mardi gras missing woman found in local bed miniature capsule will carry deadly germs across the universe medicinal pothead wins case make me laugh… 50 years of government drug dealing texas outlaws in upset over south side the silencing of margie schoedinger: make me laugh and i will buy you a beer… protected witness getting settled in blind group sues over sob laws county attorney files lawsuit to require club to stop illegal activity electric reliability council meeting postponed due to power outage $1,000,000 cocaine found aboard crude oil tanker copper thieves busted by coppers environmentalist wackos blockade keytone pipeline offices houston rodeo music lineup: send in the clowns my new career as a poet… make me laugh and i will buy you a beer… marijuana shortage after hurricane sandy has yankee pot dealers driving south for supplies dickinson man calls 9-1-1 to report domino’s won’t deliver to him things to see before you die… where did the conservative movement go wrong? what now for business owners? it really happened gators rant: acronympomania the official story of 9-11: gator press proudly powered by wordpress.


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