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H1
odd still life
H2
it has been an odd afternoon
comments gone
once more as thursday drifts away
happy new year
while i was wasting time
another day that . . .i will not finish that line
merry christmas and happy hanukkah to all
a thing i shouldn’t put here
it is what it is
trying to fix things — links first
sad face:(
happy birthday!!!
turns out . . .
a new year
the return!
i’m here
guess what
and then
okay! you guys!
not wednesday, yet
and now it’s october
things are . . .
things that are and are not
sickness
things
and another (two) week(s) disappeared
and by a couple of hours . . .
there is a wall
and then things. . .
you may, of course,
changes
copyright notice
(me) elsewhere
blogroll
i do write
new things
once upon a time
scenes from her life
sites of some value
the pages
this will change daily.
write to me
archives
H3
H4
H5
H6
strong
reasons to believe
i am desperately trying to save this site. the links are screwed up, the media is screwed up. many things have been screwed up, through no (or not much) fault of my own. i am slowly fixing things. links will be the first thing to be fixed. it will take days or weeks or months to fix them all. bear with me.
until i get that done (and in case i rage quit in the middle) there is a new place over at blogger : http://oddstilll.blogspot.com/ there is not much there, yet. but if i do “rage quit” this site i’ll move everything i can over there before i do.

neighborly behavior
my
anybody’s
neighborly behavior
‘neighborly behavior’
b
i
em reasons to believe
i am desperately trying to save this site. the links are screwed up, the media is screwed up. many things have been screwed up, through no (or not much) fault of my own. i am slowly fixing things. links will be the first thing to be fixed. it will take days or weeks or months to fix them all. bear with me.
until i get that done (and in case i rage quit in the middle) there is a new place over at blogger : http://oddstilll.blogspot.com/ there is not much there, yet. but if i do “rage quit” this site i’ll move everything i can over there before i do.

neighborly behavior
my
anybody’s
neighborly behavior
‘neighborly behavior’
Bolds strong 9
b 0
i 0
em 9
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odd still life my odd still life (in a few well and/or badly chosen words) it has been an odd afternoon i slept. until about 1:30. that’s pm, folks. well, sort of half-slept. i didn’t go to bed until around 2 am. i slept then, a little. then i woke up around 11 am. depressed. out. of. my. skull. i didn’t want to get up. i didn’t want to be . . . anything. i did not want to be at all. this was my internal dialogue: ‘i can’t write.’ ‘i can’t believe in what i want to believe in.’ ‘i can’t ever live the life i want/need to live.’ ‘i quit!’ from 11:00 to 1:30 i just lay there and semi tortured myself with these thoughts. then i got up and walked through the house, basically letting everyone know how terrible life was and that i was done. then i walked back into the bedroom and sat down at the computer to ask google a question. it was a quick question and i knew i’d get the answer instantly. i typed in the title of a song that had come into my head just as i levered my miserable self out of bed. i was hoping for a different answer than the one i got. (mind you if i’d gotten a different answer i would have shoveled myself back into the bed and maybe never gotten up, again.) but i got the answer that i didn’t expect. with the answer i got a link to a beautiful video that i don’t remember ever having seen before. i watched the video, listened to the song, started feeling better. anyway, it got me to this point. i’m writing. (mostly notes on the first “damned novel”. still trying to re-find les’ voice so that i can get the thing finished.) i’m posting. (such as it is.) i’m  living. (still.) posted by teddyt on january 7, 2017 at 5:02 pm under uncategorized. comment on this post. comments gone spam comments that i was having lots of trouble with have been obliterated. i’ll post something about how in a day or two if the whole site doesn’t fall apart. (think it had something to do with an old version of a certain software from g–gl-, if you get my drift.) things are better, now. enjoy. if you wish to leave (actual) comments, you should hurry, there is a time limit set, as of now. otherwise e-mail me (i don’t know when i’ll get back to you, but i’ll try). (never mind. the comment thing is screwed, again.) this thing might not be worth the hassle, after all. posted by teddyt on january 5, 2017 at 4:29 pm under uncategorized. comment on this post. once more as thursday drifts away i am struggling. i am working. i am thinking. i am deciding. i am struggling with the idea of moving. i don’t want to be where i am. i want to be near here, but not here. (i’m not sure i want to be where i want to go for the right reasons, which is why i’m struggling.) i am working. that means i am writing. i have to write. i can’t do something else. i do do other things, (to pay bills and such) but i have to write. i do not sleep, so i wind up being able to write more than i do other things. (sometimes.) not sleeping is not that good for me, but it’s better for me than not writing, so. . . i am thinking. mostly about how the world is going to be in a month. i can’t seem to let political things go by without wondering/worrying about them. i have a child who will become an adult in the age of trump. i don’t want that. (i want her to grow up, not the other thing.) so i will resist! we will resist! let it be the age of resistance, instead. i am deciding. i am choosing, right now, how the rest of my life will go. i’ve really not ever done that before. i’m a little long in the tooth to start (over 40) but here i am and this is when i have to begin. posted by teddyt on january 5, 2017 at 3:26 pm under uncategorized. comment on this post. happy new year it is only the 2nd. i did have to cook (and write) all day yesterday. also, i spent some time over at tumblr and twitter. time well spent, actually. i learned a few truths. i learned that one of two things is absolutely true about my reality and the way i view it. one of the truths was connected to a long talk that i had with my child on new year’s eve. something about physical and psychic connection that you can have with people over time and distance. it made me extremely joyful for a few hours. (i’m still learning to hold onto these ideas, though, and so i had a moment in the evening — while i was cooking — that brought me down, but only a little.) so yesterday was a very brilliant day for me, as i hope it was for everyone. i also got to work on a new story. that is something that i try to do on every new year’s day. (‘green dress’ and ‘teddy and doc’ were both new year’s day started.) it’s not exactly what i wanted to write when i began. i had a bit of a different idea in mind, but once i started writing it just flowed for about three hours. i might go back and adjust the idea, again, after i finish the first “damned novel”, until then the whole thing is in a drawer. (i have to get leigh’s story told before. . .) so, i’m writing today. les’ voice is clear in my head. it has to be since he’s the narrator for the whole thing. (i may regret having done it this way, but i don’t like changing things once i’ve made up my mind. and i do love les’ attitude and voice. um, that voice.) anyway, everything is good, still. i’m writing. i’m changing. i have stories to tell and hopefully you all will be around to hear them. happy new (gregorian calendar) year! posted by teddyt on january 2, 2017 at 5:13 pm under uncategorized. comments off on happy new year. while i was wasting time eight years sped away. the problem is that statement is a distraction. it is an envelope of darkness which surrounds every good moment that you can envision. yes there was waste. but time is a construct. time is as much of an illusion as anything else. if i had known she could and would try to break him, i would have been there. or i would have still held myself back. the need to offer myself, in perfection, to him, has stopped me more than once. not entirely my fault, either. wanting perfection is also a waste. a wise man once wrote about the false perception of perfection. basically saying there is no such thing. “there is a crack in everything. that’s how the light gets in.” love can never be perfect. love is always a little broken. one reason being that separation is wrongness. two is an illusion. there is only one. existence is oneness. you must only realize it. the love of individuals for one another, although pleasant and necessary before enlightenment, before realization is still an illusion. a powerful illusion when it is good, but it is ultimately false. living with that idea before enlightenment is something that we all will struggle with from time to time. that struggle breaks us a little. but then, again, “that’s how the light gets in.” so, i will continue to waste “time” and energy and perception, being in-love. so will he. we aren’t ready. not this time around. there may be one more time, here, before we move on. there are stories. so many stories, waiting to be told. stories we can tell each other and learn from and decide just where we want to be. enlightenment is waiting for us, all of us, when we are ready to open our eyes and see. so, love and be loved and struggle and suffer a little. waste “time” and perception and energy. it’s all a step in the right direction. (only that step is an illusion and so is “direction”.) just be and do, nothing else is true. posted by teddyt on december 28, 2016 at 10:30 pm under uncategorized. comments off on while i was wasting time. another day that . . .i will not finish that line a broken life. a broken heart. trying to fix both and other people keep screwing with me. (i won’t mention what k. is doing to me. mostly because i’m not one hundred percent sure. where is she? what the hell is going on? don’t do this! — never mind.) i think this will probably be the last month or so of this site. i’m still moving everything to another place. i don’t know exactly how everything will turn out. let’s just say 2016 has destroyed plenty of lives and killed plenty of people and doomed many more. maybe 2017 will have a chance to get better, after january. i don’t know why i doubt it. those who still have a life and an unbroken heart should hold on and never let go. the rest of us can take this train to the end of the line and hope for better times and places. i might feel better later and post something else, probably just as maudlin and terrible. the thing is maudlin and terrible means at least i’m writing. putting black on white, filling empty pages. it helps, however little. it gets me through. we’ll see how long it can last. (i’m remembering, again, things i’ve learned. don’t let other people control the way you react to them. you have charge of at least one thing — how you respond. in other words don’t let “them” screw with you. find a way to make your own response. be true to your own being, your own heart. i’m trying to remember. i’m trying to learn.) posted by teddyt on december 26, 2016 at 1:26 pm under uncategorized. comments off on another day that . . .i will not finish that line. merry christmas and happy hanukkah to all a lovely day for family and friends. i wish everyone could be with the ones they truly love for the holidays and all the year through. i have two loves: my daughter and someone far away. (remind me how there is no such place as far away, please.) my daughter is with me here today and i’m grateful for that. my other love is safe and with loved ones. i am grateful for that also, though my heart and mind aches for them. we all have things which try our hearts, though. may we all find ways of dealing and getting through the hard times. oh, speaking of which, 2016 can stop being a pain in the ass, right about now. george michael! things have been hard enough, this year. can’t we at least keep the music? music saves us. music makes us. music is the greatest truth. let us keep the music! (how many lives? how many things? remind me, again, pye.) posted by teddyt on december 25, 2016 at 5:17 pm under uncategorized. comments off on merry christmas and happy hanukkah to all. a thing i shouldn’t put here but i found it today, hidden away in my tumblr and i had forgotten i had written it. it is dangerous and nearly good, and i barely dare to leave it here. forgive me if you need to. otherwise, it is just a bit of poetry. because i do write. things i shouldn’t. reasons to believe if i only could. there is a man with the most precious voice. he was made for all the world. he had to be. he might have been born in the midst of war torn europe, or the icy steppes of russia. but he was born in a country far away. a relatively safe country that let him live and grow. he nearly died in childhood, but he was allowed to grow and be. he listened and played and sang. thank heavens. he has had hard days that shaped his voice and his music and his long, long life. because of him and his beauty inside and out i once believed in things that i hadn’t in a long time. i would believe again, if i could. if my heart weren’t broken and my life undone i might believe, again. and he would be my reason. posted by teddyt on december 19, 2016 at 1:09 pm under uncategorized. comments off on a thing i shouldn’t put here. it is what it is life is difficult. sometimes people get lost. i’ve been a little lost. no, i’ve been a lot lost. i’m just finding myself. just getting my bearings. it’s time to start, again. let’s find a way. i’m writing, again. i’m posting, again. things are what they are, but let’s keep going. i’ve spent a long time doing all the wrong things. let’s see if i can’t find a way to do some right ones. probably not. i mean, who knows what is right. i need a few days to get used to this, again. plus, still a lot of broken links to fix. everything is coming back. everything is coming together. let’s try to enjoy ourselves. oh, yeah. happy holidays! posted by teddyt on december 17, 2016 at 8:27 am under uncategorized. comments off on it is what it is. trying to fix things — links first i am desperately trying to save this site. the links are screwed up, the media is screwed up. many things have been screwed up, through no (or not much) fault of my own. i am slowly fixing things. links will be the first thing to be fixed. it will take days or weeks or months to fix them all. bear with me. until i get that done (and in case i rage quit in the middle) there is a new place over at blogger : http://oddstilll.blogspot.com/ there is not much there, yet. but if i do “rage quit” this site i’ll move everything i can over there before i do. posted by teddyt on december 23, 2013 at 6:04 am under uncategorized. comments off on trying to fix things — links first. sad face:( sigh. massive problems with the site. links not working. nothing wants to do anything but redirect. probably gonna start a new blogger site and just port everything there. sigh. unless i can get someone to help me fix the problems. doubtful of that since i’ve tried everything. well, anything could happen. still, bad way to start out the birthday. sigh! posted by teddyt on december 4, 2013 at 9:20 am under uncategorized. 4,572 comments. happy birthday!!! been a long time since i felt like adding a post, here. every year on my birthday, though, i start thinking about how i need to work on this site if i’m ever going to make anything of it at all. so, here i am, once again. it is december 4, 2013. i’m going to try to post a regular blog post every day for the next week. then i’ll work on trying to post every day for a month and then every day for a whole year. a step at a time. i hope i’ll have some important things to post here within the next couple months. right now, i’m still kind of tied up in personal stuff. dealing with the good and bad people in my life. (yes there are bad people in the world. people who are just destructive and don’t give a damn who they hurt.) i am dealing with everything better these days though. so, i’m here. if i can post every day for a week, it might charge me up for the month. hey, anything is possible. anyway: happy birthday to me . . . and anyone else who happens to share this day with me. let’s get through the week together and then december and then 2014. we can do it. let’s at least try. posted by teddyt on december 4, 2013 at 8:19 am under uncategorized. 2,835 comments. turns out . . . my year didn’t start out so well. i’ve been going through a lot of intense “personal stuff”. i’ve been working on the site a little, but only “offline”. i’m trying to get back in the swing of things and today is as good a time as any. i’m starting a whole new set of pages and i’m working on two — what i’m calling –“articles” that should (fingers crossed) be up before midnight tonight. i really want to make this site work, for me and for anyone who happens to wander by.  if my new ideas don’t work i’ll be changing the site, again, probably for the last time. i hope you’re rooting for me. check out the new stuff. (there will be extra posts and links as i get everything finished.) check out some of the old stuff.  have an interesting time. posted by teddyt on february 13, 2013 at 4:35 pm under uncategorized. 4,593 comments. a new year a new post. it’s been a long week. holidays and family and personal things and work things all tend to take all of my time and effort. which is fine, of course, to an extent. i made a decision, though, this last week, to allocate at least a portion of my time, each day to this site. why? mainly because when i’m working on projects on this site i feel more . . . creative and maybe a little more inspired than i do, otherwise. i’ve got some big plans for the first couple of months of this new year and i’ll be letting you folks know about those as i get them up and running. posted by teddyt on january 2, 2013 at 5:20 pm under uncategorized. 4,187 comments. the return! november was not a good month and december hasn’t been super, either. i’m working, but not on neighborly behavior or anything else for the site at the moment. i do have a few new posts over at tumblr . (links will be linked in the next few moments if you care to click.) january will get here, in due time. (in spite of the mayans short sightedness.) i have plans for 2013. big ones. you will be pleasantly surprised. (or you will not be and wind up disliking me terribly, but oh well.) posted by teddyt on december 18, 2012 at 10:09 am under uncategorized. 4,388 comments. i’m here and so is the next installment of neighborly behavior. wherein we — briefly — meet joshua (joshy) stone. he’s a typical kid of the early 80s. sort of. more to him than meets the eye. (and there will need to be.) i’m using this thing to learn/teach myself how to build a character. so far i’ve learned why the first show (the pilot) of any television series is usually barely related to the series as a whole.  the characters aren’t comfortable in their own skins, yet. i’m thinking about things that i shouldn’t. i wish i could stop thinking. hard to write without thinking. that’s a problem. within the next few days and only because i can’t stop myself, i will upload the next two scenes — the culmination of which, is the introduction of the major force in this series. asa stone. the characterization of asa stone has given me, and will continue to give me — possibly for the rest of my life — very big problems. my writer’s life. i wouldn’t wish it on anybody’s worst enemy. posted by teddyt on october 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm under i'm here, thinking, updating, writing. 2,215 comments. guess what two! je le répète, deux “neighborly behavior” scenes. now, when i say scenes. . .i mean, of course, pieces that i have labored over until i couldn’t stand them any more. they’ve been edited very little. by the end i couldn’t even be bothered to format the damn things properly, so very likely they will be badly spaced, badly indented (if they are at all, that’s bad) and will probably splay all over the page as if they were typed by jumping lol cats. but they are done, and they advance the story. asa stone (a well known musical artist of our fictional little world) and his perfect wife, penny, and their kids, have been very subtly introduced. next scene is already in my head. might have it up by the weekend. we’ll see. posted by teddyt on october 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm under thinking, uncategorized, updating, writing. 929 comments. and then i didn’t sleep for two days. and then i did sleep . . . a lot. most of the day yesterday. turns out i was coming down with my bi-yearly bout of tonsillitis/bronchitis. i used to know when it was coming. the change in the weather is a good hint that i’m going to be sick. it was such a long, hot summer that the change took me by surprise. so, i’m sick. it’s no excuse. not really. i’m still trying to write “neighborly behavior”. it’s not easy with a pounding head and pain shooting through my throat, but i’m working on it. if i can get it into some sort of understandable form, it’ll be up by next week. maybe wednesday. (a week late. that would be wonderful. that would be magical. it’ll never happen.) might be some other things up my monday. i’m in a very weird mood. don’t hold your breath(s), but do keep an eye out. links to tumblr and twitter are in the same place as always. if you’re interested. if not, well, i don’t know what to tell you. posted by teddyt on october 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm under excuses, sickness!, updating, writing. 2,060 comments. okay! you guys! nobody could be bothered to let me know — through an e-mail or a comment, or something, that i had neglected to put up a link to green dress — part 10? months, folks, months passed with a big chunk of that story being unable to be read by anybody. how i found out? i couldn’t remember the word ‘impulsive’ and i knew i had used it in a scene in one of the parts of green dress. guess which one? so, i came to click on the link and i find that it stops at nine, then i checked tumblr and it’s parts start at eleven. hmm? oops. it’s fixed, now, thanks. for nothing! posted by teddyt on october 9, 2012 at 10:44 pm under uncategorized. 4,798 comments. not wednesday, yet honestly working on the next piece of “neighborly behavior”. i’ve run into a problem. i can’t seem to get a good grip on the character of dan. as a matter of fact, i can not even seem to settle on his last name. i started out going in one direction and then backed off and sort of stumbled in another direction for awhile. now i’m just floundering. short of just having him die in a fiery automobile crash on his way to his tutoring session with theresa, i have no frigging idea how i’m going to handle the next scene. so. . .i might wind up just fast forwarding a few hours and having the next big scene take place after dan leaves the house. i have part of a scene written with an introduction to one of the new neighbors, but i was trying to put dan in it and i haven’t written a workaround for that, yet. i did say it might be wednesday. it also might be next year. i’m losing my mind. posted by teddyt on october 9, 2012 at 2:53 pm under uncategorized. 4,554 comments. and now it’s october and something appears to be wrong with my brain. not seriously. no illness or further instability, but something. i can’t focus. i’m writing, a bit, but it’s mostly gibberish. i am writing, though. i haven’t gone around the track and back, all the way to the “damn novel” yet, but i may reach that point. i’m working on short pieces, now. feeling my way along and trying to learn something. i’m using my tumblr site as a sort of experimental writing blog. truths and fictions interconnect over there and i feel like its separate enough from this site to make it okay. so, any of you who wander over there and read some of the –slightly– insane things that i wind up posting, should take that into consideration. it’s only an experiment. (yeah. that’s the ticket. *) some things are still waiting to come to fruition and  i’ve got a few things “in the can” as they used to say in the industry. i’m applying that phrase to something that it never really applied to, but i can do that. really, it’s okay. done, but undone, in other words. i will be working on the next installment of “neighborly behavior” tonight. might be up late or by tomorrow, or by wednesday. things being what they are, you never can tell. * a small nod to anyone born before 1990. my apologies to one direction and all their fans. posted by teddyt on october 7, 2012 at 4:10 pm under thinking, updating, writing. 4,031 comments. things are . . . a little better today. got two, count them, two, brand new “neighborly behavior” scenes up. one is shortish and one is longish, both are about as good as i could do after not really being able to even think about the thing for the last three weeks. been sick, ya know. anyway, i’m feeling better. might get a lot more work done today. especially if i get back on the good computer any time soon. (the kid. the minecraft. the wasted time. — sigh!) posted by teddyt on september 23, 2012 at 1:56 pm under excuses, i'm up, updating, writing. 1,352 comments. things that are and are not i’ve been dealing with something the last few weeks. an idea, a thought, a vision. i’ve known for some time now — years, leading into decades — that i can’t live my life like — well, if not most, then many other people. i’m just made differently. i think differently. i focus differently. i exist differently. for a long while i was made to believe that there was something wrong with that, that i should try to be more like everybody — or, at least, most — everybody else. i’ve recently decided that i can’t believe that, anymore. i believe that i have the freedom to live my life as i see fit. sometimes that’s going to make my life harder and sometimes easier, but that can be said of anybody’s life, really. some days are just gonna be harder (often much harder) than others. i’ve learned this fact several times over in my life, and i’ve been having a refresher course in it for most of the last twelve months. in the next few months, by the first of 2013, anyway, i’m going to make an attempt to turn my entire life upside down. i want things in my life that i don’t have, right now. it’s going to be a struggle. i’m going to have to do a thing that i’ve never done in my entire life: trust in myself. i’m going to learn to let myself live life my own way, under my own power. i’m going to accept that i have the right to take responsibility for my own existence. i will accept any helping hands along the way, but ultimately, i will be standing on my own. probably for the first time in my entire life. who knows how it may all end up? i hope that it will turn out as well as the last weeks would seem to indicate. (aside from this horrible virus/flu/who-knows-what, this september has been better than i might have imagined possible, especially back at the end of april when for a few days i was sure the walls of my life had come crashing down.) ah, but never mind the parenthetical. i will be changing things, here, there and everywhere, for the foreseeable future. things may turn out to be completely different than they started out to be. i’m sure i will. anyway, check back, occasionally. i’ll beat this flu or what and try and get back to heavy writing in the next days. the rest of september should be fine and by the beginning of october things should be running like clockwork. posted by teddyt on september 18, 2012 at 12:16 am under thinking, updating. 4,086 comments. sickness i know. excuses, excuses. but i really am sick. for three days now. something part allergies, part cold, part flu, part . . . who knows what. the kid is down with the same thing. bet the whole school is down with it next week since they wouldn’t let her come home when she went to the nurse. well, at least they have monday off. i will not be working on anything until this is over. i can barely see to type this and i absolutely cannot think. excuses i can do. i can’t manage anything creative. i’m gobbling antihistamines and ibuprofen (in careful amounts) and drinking plenty of fluids so i might be better by the first of the week. i hope i will be. until then i’ll be propped up watching qi and old jonathan creek episodes. and reading for as long as my eyes will let me. sleep is impossible. the kind of sickness i get when i’m really sick will not let me even approach a horizontal position. i will return when i have something more than serious whining to offer.  in the mean time, i’ll leave you with this warning: sanitize your child every afternoon after school, or you too will get the sickness and you do not want the sickness. thank you and good night. posted by teddyt on september 14, 2012 at 10:01 pm under bored, excuses, sickness!. 741 comments. things things are going on. happy things. life changing things. i can’t give full explanations just now, but maybe soon. as it is the last week has been way too full of crazy good (personal/private) things for me to actually get caught up on anything for the site. (very unprofessional i know, but there it is.) i will try to work on things a little this week. i’m extra inspired to work on neighborly behavior just now, so i’ll probably get a scene or two up by the weekend. as for everything else, it’s on a back burner until further notice. thank you all and adieu. posted by teddyt on september 4, 2012 at 7:02 pm under uncategorized. 4,241 comments. and another (two) week(s) disappeared weeks have a tendency to do that with me. i got a little sick and i got a little down and i let everything that i care about — with a scant few exceptions — go by the wayside. i am working on things. i just haven’t gotten anything posted or published, yet. why? because i’m trying to make it better. i should have another “neighborly behavior” up by this afternoon. it’s short, i think. i might get time to write a longer one. i’m not sure. i’m fiddling with my idea for “the odd still life” series. i’ve got some sketches and photos and things, but nothing seems to be “right” enough. if i can make it the way i want it, i’ll have something up by tonight. at least one piece. as for anything else, i just don’t know. i’m struggling with a new concept, a new twist for the old damn(ed) novel. i like it better, i think. not as convoluted as the original, more psychological and not so fantasy/science fiction-y. not really fewer characters, but fewer focal points. (and no les.) if i make any headway — with the new idea — at all, i’ll start putting up more from the original draft of the original concept. i’ll work on it and put everything i have left — of that part of it — up on the site. (yeah! content! — maybe.) now, leave me alone. i’ve got to go stare at things for awhile and try to get my energy and my inspiration levels back up. later, folks. posted by teddyt on august 24, 2012 at 8:27 am under i'm up, thinking, updating, writing. 4,224 comments. and by a couple of hours . . . i, of course, meant a couple of days. yesterday was a complete dead end for me. i wanted to be somewhere i could not get to — not that i was prepared to be there, anyway — but the thinking about it just drained all the creative energy out of me. problem is, later today i’ll be drained for just about the same reason. that’s why i’m going to work really hard for the next several hours to get the content up that i really want to and then just exit and try not to feel too badly about not completing whatever it is that i won’t get finished. (if that sentence made any sense at all, that’s fabulous, because it’s 5 a.m. here and i am a little bit out of it.) anyway, in the next few minutes/hours/days/weeks/(you get the point) i will be adding fiction content, starting with something called ‘neighborly behavior’ that i have been working on for a while, which i hope will become a sort of weekly series. also, a while later (when no one is asleep, here) i will be adding a sort of media experiment called “the odd still life”. it’s meant to be a photo/sketch/horrible comic type thing, with pictures and words and stuff, based on a rough script i’ve been trying to draft for the last couple of weeks. (very, very rough.) something else i’ve had in the works, for a pretty long time, called drawing eyes, might be up later today, also. it isn’t much. a little thing i do because i do it. (someone who gave birth to me bought me a new sketch pad and it kind of inspired me to give this one a go, finally.) like i said, though, it isn’t much. basically an aside to the rest of the stuff. still, it’s content. meh-ish and sad content but content. i’ll add links (to any of it that i actually get started) in a little while. so keep a look out. posted by teddyt on august 11, 2012 at 5:18 am under i'm up, thinking, updating, writing. 6,823 comments. there is a wall and i have hit it. eyes too tired and the things that are inspiring me right now, are inspiring me to things that make my heart ache. i want to work against my normal tide. i’m too tired to do that, right now. i’ll be back in a few hours with more. a couple different things, too. as soon as i clear my head. posted by teddyt on august 9, 2012 at 2:39 am under uncategorized. 6,000 comments. and then things. . . happened and i sort of shut down for a couple of days. i’m starting fresh and clear, tonight. i’m over things that had me digging myself out of the darkness, again. i will be working all night. bear with me and i’ll try not to let this thing get away from me again. posted by teddyt on august 8, 2012 at 8:03 pm under thinking, uncategorized, updating, writing. 2,343 comments. you may, of course, completely disregard the previous blog post. i grew a brain, calmed down and fixed it. the new site pages will be posted (without a home page) sometime later today or, very likely, this evening. thank you and good day. also. . .yippee!! posted by teddyt on august 3, 2012 at 12:50 pm under thinking, updating, yikes! avoided!. 4,133 comments. changes i am slowly implementing changes to this site, this blog, my mind and my life. if you haven’t been here in a few days/hours you will notice, possibly, that the site home page has changed. i left a nice big text link, on that page, for you folks to click,  — and you must have, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be here, now. in actuality, i did not entirely mean for the page to change. i was working on something and decided i wanted to hit publish. suddenly! zonk! a nice new (really rough) home page for my site. but no problem. links seem to work nicely. i’ll clean everything up (since i can’t seem to change it back) and all will be well. i’ll try to set up a big (see: huge) links page from that page to other pages related to this blog. in other words, i’ll put all the links that exist in my nice, convenient right sidebar onto what will probably be a slightly less convenient links page which links directly to that nice new home page. (i hate home pages. but i will learn to live with it until i figure out how to delete the whole damn thing. or get over it and enjoy the change.) until then, you can all just change your bookmarks for this page and come directly here or click that very visible link in the middle of the lovely new home page. yikes! (i am dealing.) posted by teddyt on august 3, 2012 at 12:11 pm under things i simply shouldn't, uncategorized, updating, yikes!. 4,410 comments. « previous entries copyright notice ©tracy darlene taylor and odd still life, 2006-2017. unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to tracy taylor and odd still life with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. (me) elsewhere me at google plus me, at tumblr me, at twitter blogroll dooce retrospace sothefishsaid.com the bleat (at lileks.com) i do write even a sentence . . . green dress notebook notes novel bits poetic listlessness previous story new things me, telling tales neighborly behavior scattered scenes truth to be told once upon a time another ending david, now the harvest the last of an eastern empire unchained space scenes from her life scenes from her life — also known as "teddy and doc" sites of some value blip.fm retrospace twitter the pages david, now my minecraft pages this will change daily. or maybe not. write to me noticed i was getting fewer e-mails. looked around and realized i no longer had my e-mail address up (on the main page). it is now here! teddyt at oddstilllife dot com replacing spaces and words with all applicable signs and glyphs and such. (even such an one as i must needs save myself from spam.) archives january 2017 (4) december 2016 (5) december 2013 (3) february 2013 (1) january 2013 (1) december 2012 (1) october 2012 (6) september 2012 (4) august 2012 (7) july 2012 (3) june 2012 (6) may 2012 (8) march 2012 (8) february 2012 (8) january 2012 (11) december 2011 (4) november 2011 (9) october 2011 (2) september 2011 (1) august 2011 (1) july 2011 (6) june 2011 (1) april 2011 (5) march 2011 (1) january 2011 (1) december 2010 (3) august 2010 (7) may 2010 (3) april 2010 (6) april 2009 (2) june 2008 (1) february 2008 (1) april 2007 (4) march 2007 (2) february 2007 (2) january 2007 (4) december 2006 (7) november 2006 (22) october 2006 (6) september 2006 (7) august 2006 (1) july 2006 (8) june 2006 (12) may 2006 (4) april 2006 (6) february 2006 (3) january 2006 (3) entries (rss) and comments (rss). powered by wordpress. theme evanescence.


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