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Titlenirvana legacy | dark slivers out now: kindle ebook or, for paperback, email nirvanadarkslivers@gmail.com

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dawn anderson and nirvana’s first interview
merry christmas! the evolution of kurt cobain’s lyrics
news: nirvana live guide / livenirvana – together to the future
posthumously respecting the word and art of kurt cobain
kurt cobain: could he have changed?
louder than words, nirvana, 11-13 november 2016 in manchester
live in carlisle: nirvana, cobain on cobain, conversation
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dawn anderson and nirvana’s first interview https://nirvana-legacy.com/2017/01/10/dawn-anderson-and-nirvanas-first-interview/
merry christmas! the evolution of kurt cobain’s lyrics https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/12/23/merry-christmas-the-evolution-of-kurt-cobains-lyrics/
news: nirvana live guide / livenirvana – together to the future https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/12/22/news-nirvana-live-guide-livenirvana-together-to-the-future/
posthumously respecting the word and art of kurt cobain https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/12/10/posthumously-respecting-the-word-and-art-of-kurt-cobain/
kurt cobain: could he have changed? https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/16/kurt-cobain-could-he-have-changed/
january 2017 https://nirvana-legacy.com/2017/01/
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"i played with nirvana" – eyewitnesses 1987-1994 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/i-played-with-nirvana-eyewitnesses-1987-1994/
a young kurt cobain 1967-1987 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/a-young-kurt-cobain-1967-1987/
after in utero – the final year 1993-1994 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/after-in-utero-the-final-year-1993-1994/
analysing nirvana songs https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/analysing-nirvana-songs/
bleach and the sub pop era 1987-1990 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/bleach-and-the-sub-pop-era-1987-1990/
cobain on cobain https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/cobain-on-cobain/
dark slivers: seeing nirvana in the shards of incesticide https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/dark-slivers-seeing-nirvana-in-the-shards-of-incesticide/
i found my friends: the oral history of nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/i-found-my-friends-the-oral-history-of-nirvana/
in utero 1992-1993 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/in-utero-1992-1993/
incesticide https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/incesticide/
new music and new discoveries https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/new-music-and-new-discoveries/
nick's philosophies on nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/nicks-philosophies-on-nirvana/
nirvana live stats 1987-1994 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/nirvana-live-stats-1987-1994/
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no seattle: forgotten sounds of the north west grunge era https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/no-seattle-forgotten-sounds-of-the-north-west-grunge-era/
other bands and nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/other-bands-and-nirvana/
overarching nirvana trends 1987-1994 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/overarching-nirvana-trends-1987-1994/
people near nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/people-near-nirvana/
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dawn anderson and nirvana’s first interview https://nirvana-legacy.com/2017/01/10/dawn-anderson-and-nirvanas-first-interview/
nirvana news https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/nirvana-news/
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http://www.livenirvana.com/interviews/8804da/index.php http://www.livenirvana.com/interviews/8804da/index.php
merry christmas! the evolution of kurt cobain’s lyrics https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/12/23/merry-christmas-the-evolution-of-kurt-cobains-lyrics/
nick's philosophies on nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/nicks-philosophies-on-nirvana/
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http://www.livenirvana.com/forum/index.php?threads/important-future-of-nlg-and-lnth-and-introducing-the-lncc.40418/#post-673233 http://www.livenirvana.com/forum/index.php?threads/important-future-of-nlg-and-lnth-and-introducing-the-lncc.40418/#post-673233
posthumously respecting the word and art of kurt cobain https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/12/10/posthumously-respecting-the-word-and-art-of-kurt-cobain/
nick's philosophies on nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/nicks-philosophies-on-nirvana/
4 https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/12/10/posthumously-respecting-the-word-and-art-of-kurt-cobain/#comments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krb2odqksmc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krb2odqksmc
kurt cobain: could he have changed? https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/16/kurt-cobain-could-he-have-changed/
in utero 1992-1993 https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/in-utero-1992-1993/
12 https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/16/kurt-cobain-could-he-have-changed/#comments
louder than words, nirvana, 11-13 november 2016 in manchester https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/07/louder-than-words-nirvana-11-13-november-2016-in-manchester/
cobain on cobain https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/cobain-on-cobain/
dark slivers: seeing nirvana in the shards of incesticide https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/dark-slivers-seeing-nirvana-in-the-shards-of-incesticide/
i found my friends: the oral history of nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/i-found-my-friends-the-oral-history-of-nirvana/
nirvana news https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/nirvana-news/
0 https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/07/louder-than-words-nirvana-11-13-november-2016-in-manchester/#respond
live in carlisle: nirvana, cobain on cobain, conversation https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/04/live-in-carlisle-nirvana-cobain-on-cobain-conversation/
cobain on cobain https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/cobain-on-cobain/
dark slivers: seeing nirvana in the shards of incesticide https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/dark-slivers-seeing-nirvana-in-the-shards-of-incesticide/
i found my friends: the oral history of nirvana https://nirvana-legacy.com/category/i-found-my-friends-the-oral-history-of-nirvana/
2 https://nirvana-legacy.com/2016/11/04/live-in-carlisle-nirvana-cobain-on-cobain-conversation/#comments
http://www.cumbrialive.co.uk/author-nick-soulsby-to-discuss-his-journey-in-search-of-nirvana-0cd8655f-c92f-47e1-b930-da3647d8dbcb-ds http://www.cumbrialive.co.uk/author-nick-soulsby-to-discuss-his-journey-in-search-of-nirvana-0cd8655f-c92f-47e1-b930-da3647d8dbcb-ds
http://www.wordsandguitars.co.uk/2016/11/in-conversation-dumb-numbers-adam-harding/ http://www.wordsandguitars.co.uk/2016/11/in-conversation-dumb-numbers-adam-harding/
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homeabout nirvana legacy dark slivers out now: kindle ebook or, for paperback, email nirvanadarkslivers@gmail.com stay updated via rss recent posts dawn anderson and nirvana’s first interview merry christmas! the evolution of kurt cobain’s lyrics news: nirvana live guide / livenirvana – together to the future posthumously respecting the word and art of kurt cobain kurt cobain: could he have changed? archives january 2017 december 2016 november 2016 october 2016 september 2016 august 2016 july 2016 june 2016 may 2016 march 2016 february 2016 january 2016 december 2015 november 2015 october 2015 september 2015 august 2015 july 2015 june 2015 may 2015 april 2015 march 2015 february 2015 january 2015 december 2014 november 2014 october 2014 september 2014 august 2014 july 2014 june 2014 may 2014 april 2014 march 2014 february 2014 january 2014 december 2013 november 2013 october 2013 september 2013 august 2013 july 2013 june 2013 may 2013 april 2013 march 2013 february 2013 january 2013 december 2012 november 2012 october 2012 categories "i played with nirvana" – eyewitnesses 1987-1994 a young kurt cobain 1967-1987 after in utero – the final year 1993-1994 analysing nirvana songs bleach and the sub pop era 1987-1990 cobain on cobain dark slivers: seeing nirvana in the shards of incesticide i found my friends: the oral history of nirvana in utero 1992-1993 incesticide new music and new discoveries nick's philosophies on nirvana nirvana live stats 1987-1994 nirvana maps and locales nirvana news no seattle: forgotten sounds of the north west grunge era other bands and nirvana overarching nirvana trends 1987-1994 people near nirvana trends – hip hop, grunge and alternative unreleased n' posthumous nirvana meta register log in entries rss comments rss wordpress.com dawn anderson and nirvana’s first interview posted: january 10, 2017 in nirvana news 0 https://www.gofundme.com/please-help-dawn-recover-from-cance if you’re a nirvana fan, you’ll know the name dawn anderson, you’ll recognise the line “nirvana could become…better than the melvins!” dawn was responsible for the article that appeared in backlash magazine in the spring of 1988 marking the first interview with kurt cobain. if the piece – ‘it may be the devil and it may be the lord…but it sure as hell ain’t human’ – wasn’t already so well known it would have been my choice to open the cobain on cobain book last year (i wanted to use the word count for something else in the end.) http://www.livenirvana.com/interviews/8804da/index.php dawn is currently in recovery from a run in with cancer. if you have spare change, a touch of cash, anything that might help her toward full health – the link is above and there’s some good to be done in the world. merry christmas! the evolution of kurt cobain’s lyrics posted: december 23, 2016 in nick's philosophies on nirvana 0 in the literary world, it’s normal that a sophisticated writer’s output is dissected to indicate the structural, time-specific and/or constant features underpinning what they do. the world of popular music, however, often falls prey to anti-intellectualism: a common kneejerk reaction claiming that any deeper consideration either neuters the emotive force of music (answer: no, it doesn’t) is inappropriate to the form (answer: no, it isn’t) or is purely imaginary unless confirmed by an artist’s own statements (answer: entire industries are built on helping people understand themselves better – why should a zone as full of flakes, oddballs and exceptional cases as music is be the sole arena of human life where people are all-knowing with regard to their actions?) it’s a bizarre reaction in many ways: to be unable to accept music on a physical, emotional and intellectual level whether at separate times and locations, or intermingled. in the case of cobain, the 500 posts created from november 2012 to december 2016; over a million words; hundreds of tables/charts/graphics; indicate i feel there’s more to his work than just re-treading soap opera style biographical detail. the starkest example i can offer is the way in which is song-writing notably changes between 1986 and 1994. as a christmas post i decided to enjoy showing why i think cobain is such a good writer and sustains deeper assessment. think of any singer you wish: compare beck to axl rose; compare nineties wu tang clan to the hashtag disorientation of mid-2000s lil wayne; whatever you wish. every performer of words has a voice. there are a range of options: first person, third person, the story, interior monologues, direct address to an unknown audience, emotional sensation versus external reportage…regardless of whether the individual concerned is a seasoned professional who readily and methodically selects different voices at different times, or a from-the-gut lyricist working on pure instinct rather than any formulated conception of their art, lyrics require a mode regardless of thought or forethought. cobain is an excellent subject to study in this regard: a concise selection of song lyrics to consider – well under one hundred – showing development across a tight eight year span. some songs recorded for the fecal matter demo at easter 1986 may have been around a long while but without further evidence it’s pure conjecture. in my opinion, given how fast cobain wrote, used and discarded songs 1986-1990 i doubt he was re-using leftovers from his early-to-mid teens. i’m ignoring the material on montage of heck simply because there’s no data about when/where it was created and most of it didn’t come even close to any sense of complete form. feel free to consider it in light of this discussion. in essence, there are three clearly distinguishable threads to cobain’s lyric writing – and they change significantly in terms of their presence and importance within his portfolio. the first, is the ‘story’ – defined as a narrative scene/experience played out across an entire song. this approach takes a lot of work: essentially it means writing a short story, in a relatively limited number of words, while making it work as a vocal piece. ‘paper cuts’ from the bleach album is a great example: “when i’m feeling tired / she pushed food through the door / and i crawl toward the crack of light / sometimes i can’t find my way / newspapers spread around / soaking all that they can / a cleaning is due again / a good hosing down.” the first evidence of cobain using this mode of writing comes on fecal matter in 1988 with the track ‘insurance’ (a court scene) and it’s very understandable why it never becomes a dominant component of his writing – it’s difficult and time-consuming! the next example is ready a year later by the time of nirvana’s first show: ‘mexican seafood’, a slightly feverish sequence in which he winds up focusing on the state of the bathroom floor and the toilet bowl (i felt this song more deeply after a food poisoning episode.) 1987 is the big year for story songs: cobain has the time and freedom to work on them so by the january 1988 studio session at reciprocal he’s worked up ‘floyd the barber’ and ‘paper cuts’ with ‘polly’ likely already in hand given the song is based on a 1987 news story. this song form dies entirely. the final two examples are written in may-july of 1990 (‘sliver’) and the autumn of that year (‘something in the way’.) story songs, in summary, make up 6 of the 68 songs with lyrics released during nirvana’s lifetime or on the greatest hits/with the lights out packages in 2002-2004. one is based on a news story (‘polly’), one on an incident that happened to a local kid (‘paper cuts’), one is a fictitious grotesque based on a tv show (‘floyd the barber’), three are embellished autobiography (‘mexican seafood’, ‘sliver’, ‘something in the way’.) the way in which, between 1988 and1990, he moves toward autobiography is reinforced by other trends in his writing. the second form is even more prominent in cobain early work: the ‘character sketch’. this differs from the story song in being a recitation of an individual’s static being, character or circumstance. the fecal matter demo is a point of origin in two respects: firstly, cobain is still finding his own voice so it’s significant how often he speaks ‘as other people’ on the record – note the bizarre put-on voices throughout the demo (an affectation still prominent in the unusual voices on the january 1988 songs later seen on incesticide.) secondly, this seeking out of identities is also lyrical: ‘laminated effect’ is the only time cobain sketches named characters (johnny and lucy respectively), while ‘buffy’s pregnant’ marries his vocal impersonations to stereotypical dialogue of the types of individual he’s representing. ‘mrs. butterworth’, in which he hashes out a would-be homemade folk-art entrepreneur’s future plans, continues this lyrical approach in which he visibly speaks ‘as’ another person. he gives up on vocal impersonations very swiftly and very soon it becomes less obvious he’s speaking as a character or autobiographically. the b-side to nirvana’s first single, ‘big cheese’, had started life as a tale of management at a fast food joint (see the early version played live in spring 1988) then evolved into a comment on the management at sub pop; there’d also been ‘hairspray queen’ and ‘if you must’ (the latter a quintessential ‘writing’ song) recorded that january; while ‘sappy’ was demo’ed in 1988. the peak for the character sketch though was its dominance on bleach which contained ‘about a girl’, ‘school’, ‘negative creep’, ‘scoff’, ‘swap meet’ and ‘mr moustache’. a division was emerging within this song form quick sketches of characters he observed around him – like the redneck or the couple making a living at garage/car-boot sales – or songs based around his own life and mood (i.e., pressures from management, pressures from girlfriend, his own negativity.) things had visibly changed by the time of nevermind: just as the story song had dwindled to a single song (‘something in the way’), there were only two character sketches (‘lithium’ and ‘drain you’) both of which could be read as autobiographical.  that’s not to say, however, that cobain hadn’t persisted with this mode of writing. ‘stain’, ‘been a son’ and ‘even in his youth’ were all written in a flurry around summer-autumn 1989; then, in 1990, cobain also created ‘dumb’, ‘pennyroyal tea’ and ‘oh the guilt’ – early versions of ‘rape me’ were also far more extensive than what would ultimately emerge in 1993. i’ve said it a lot of times, of course, that so few cobain compositions are written after nevermind that it’s hard to draw big conclusions but – by the end of his life, as far as we can see, the only additions to this form were ‘curmudgeon’ (written sometime in 1991), then ‘very ape’ and ‘scentless apprentice.’ a form that had taken up over half of nirvana’s first album remained as a full four songs on nirvana’s final album, but made up only two of the dozen compositions he’s known to have written in the last two-and-a-half years of his life. still, it’s a significant batch of cobain’s productivity: 23 of the 68 songs taken into account in this assessment. the curious part, however, is seeing the rise of the third song form cobain used. bleach was made up of one cover song, two story songs leftover from the january 1988 session, six character sketches, then just two songs in the mode for which cobain would become best known and that would dominate his later writing. ‘blew’ and ‘sifting’ are forged from lines that sound good together, related words, brief images, lines addressed to an unknown audience – there’s no central narrative and no singular character here. i refer to these as the ‘abstract address’: detached images, opinions, feelings combined into songs (hence why looking for a single ‘meaning’ for this type of song has always been so silly.) ‘downer’ s the nearest fecal matter came to this though there was a central theme at play. note, by the way, that downer starts with an anonymous narration then breaks into the first person. cobain would do the same thing on spank thru, mexican seafood, big long now, dive, smells like teen spirit, drain you, scentless apprentice and radio friendly unit shifter – opening lines in one mode, the rest in another. oddly ‘downer’, ‘aero zeppelin’ and ‘sifting’ would be the last songs cobain wrote that are entirely anonymous with no ‘i’, ‘he’, ‘she’ involved. just another small evolution in his style. ‘spank thru’ was the next form in this mode, followed in early 1988 by ‘blew’ and ‘sifting’ which each evolved new lines and different parts across 1988. increasingly this is how cobain would come to write: lines taken from different journals, or scribbled out relatively close to the time of recording, tagged onto core lines and ideas he’d kept or mused on for a while, or words that stayed in his mind. if you look at something like ‘smells like teen spirit’, ideas barely linger longer than a couple of lines. elsewhere, try ‘in bloom’ with its chorus refrain existing entirely separately from the verse themes (which are themselves fairly diffuse – “sell the kids for food / weather changes moods / spring is here again / reproductive glands”). on nevermind, there were two story songs (‘polly’ and ‘something in the way’), then two character sketches (‘lithium’ and ‘drain you’) then the rest of the album consisted of these abstracts. in utero, again, would divide up relatively cleanly: no story songs, four character sketches, the rest abstract. the abstract was, by its very nature, a highly adaptable form: note the change between nevermind’s unspecific combination of broad statements of opinion and imagery versus in utero’s targeted clusters of autobiographical reference. cobain’s fixation on the media echoing through words and titles on in utero in real contrast to the relative anonymity and veiled biography of nirvana’s earlier songs: a stark turn toward self-reporting. it isn’t uncommon either for fame to impose a certain introversion on lyrics: essentially, once all an artist sees is hotel rooms, stages and business meetings it’s hard for them to say much about the world. think of axl rose moving from the grime of appetite for destruction to the love songs and psychological dissections (and aggression) on use your illusion i and ii – or even more specifically compare that to chinese democracy after a decade stuck in a mansion. recently the weeknd’s new album was filled with the least interesting, specific and developed writing of his career. in conversation the other week someone drew my eye to ‘do re mi’ and pointed to it as a quintessential heroin song comparable to the narcotised drift of lennon’s ‘imagine’ or lou reed’s ‘perfect day’ – this air of blissed out warm nothingness to it all (and, having been hooked on the spirit and sung along a million times, people still shake their heads and wonder what heroin’s appeal is…) it reminded me, again, that there’s more than meets the eye inside the music of kurt cobain and so – at christmas – i wanted to sign the blog off for a couple weeks with this remembrance of what an awesome musical force he was. news: nirvana live guide / livenirvana – together to the future posted: december 22, 2016 in nirvana news 0 http://www.nirvanaguide.com/announce.php http://www.livenirvana.com/forum/index.php?threads/important-future-of-nlg-and-lnth-and-introducing-the-lncc.40418/#post-673233 anyone who has read any of my ramblings these past years will know that i incredible respect for livenirvana and for the nirvana live guide. whenever i’ve been asked what fandom looks like at its best i think of these sites and the work they’ve done sourcing lost, unknown, different recording of nirvana shows and sessions; compiling accurate data and sifting myth from reality; bringing together information on nirvana concerts and shows including photos and set-lists… it’s amazing what they’ve achieved. anyone can ‘comment’, anyone can write a thought-piece, but it takes a special dedication to do what these two sites have done. hunting down and locating evidence of house parties in the far north west of america in the pre-internet late eighties, finding cassettes hoarded by people who attended and taped shows a lifetime ago, persuading people to let them safeguard, protect and share material that would otherwise deteriorate and disappear forever. any of the analytical pieces i ever did relied on the bedrock that the people at these two sites created. so, i was delighted to hear that the nirvana live guide will now be migrating to and integrated with the resources at livenirvana: a single uber-source for anyone interested in where, what and with who nirvana played over the years that band was together. my absolute best wishes to all concerned and anyone out there with information regarding lost nirvana shows, stuff they might have taped long ago, anything they can contribute to the knowledge placed their for fans – go see these guys! posthumously respecting the word and art of kurt cobain posted: december 10, 2016 in nick's philosophies on nirvana 4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krb2odqksmc over recent years, i’ve had quite a lot of experience of death. here’s what happens: your body empties of any vestige of the person therein, your physical presence in this world is then destroyed and/or discarded. your family/friends/loved ones will dispose of near all the belongings you accumulated during life because – ultimately – they loved you, not your things; because they lack the life experiences that made those things mean something to you; because they have their own things to look after; because your things don’t mean to them what they did to you. regardless of unsubstantiated rumours of life after death (i’ve lived in a haunted house and experienced auditory and visual phenomena without ever catching anything that made me think i was witnessing the active spirits of the dead), your actual involvement in the affairs of this planet ceases. after this time you are a memory – nothing any one does or does not do touches you; you are not aware; nor do you participate in any way – as a memory you exist only as a poor-quality and incomplete recollection in someone else’s head, filtered through their perceptions and experiences. i’m indebted to an earlier comment on the blog – thanks billy! – for leading me to this post. the coolest thing about writing the blog has been to come into contact with other minds and lives. billy raised comments made in a 1992 interview for flipside magazine (i spoke to one of the interviewers during the preparation of ‘cobain on cobain’ – nice bloke, gave me permission to quote the interview directly in the book) in which the following exchange takes place: cake: i’ve seen so many bootlegs of you guys, are you pissed off about that or what? cobain: for the most part i really don’t care. i like to hear live bootlegs and i would appreciate if the people that make them would send me a copy. but that’s the case, nobody sends me anything. but when embarrassing things come out like stuff that i’ve done in my basement on a two-track or a boombox, that are basically just unwritten songs or pieces of songs; songs i’d like to put together someday into a song…when those come out it’s really embarrassing and it frustrates me. cake: like when you were playing jabberjaw and all these people were singing polly when you were doing it and chris goes “how the **** do you guys know that song?” and somebody goes “bootlegs!” cobain: right! it’s really embarrassing also when they take it upon themselves to title the songs for you. there are some really dorky ones like ‘the rocker’ and ‘the eagle has landed’. oh god! so, as a starting point, what is known of the intentions of kurt cobain circa 1993-1994? well, he was working on the audio-visual work which became ‘live! tonight! sold out!’ and nirvana’s ‘pennyroyal tea’ single would feature a song from mtv unplugged. meanwhile, he recorded one shaped up studio demo, one brief shred as part of a studio jam, then the home demo of a further song. other than that there’s currently just conjecture. but, from conversations with kevin kerslake for ‘i found my friends’, it’s clear that the video we see – a straightforward live clip/interview clip period piece – is only a fraction of what cobain intended: cobain intended further levels of editing, chopping, slicing, reworking – that he simply never got to make the video art collage he wanted. meanwhile there’s no evidence cobain had further nirvana plans at all (i’ve covered the mooted lollapalooza ep elsewhere on the blog). the only other hints would be the comments made in the ‘come as you are’ book about his vague plans for his own record label releasing lo-fi weirdness including ‘the singing flipper boy.’ does that make all posthumous releases by nirvana illegitimate? well, actually, if you want to take a fundamentalist position: yes. cobain in no way authorised, approved or had any consideration of any release after the planned ‘pennyroyal tea’ single. if the express wishes of kurt cobain are what matter most to you – then you should reject everything after that. billy’s first query was “does the fact that kurt passed away justify releases that betray his wishes or what he would’ve done (basing this on his own words of course)?” there are a lot of intriguing avenues in here. firstly, for normal human beings like you or i, our words don’t go on permanent display to be hauled out and used decades later in our name or to show us (or those around us) where they’re deviating from holy script. the very fact it’s possible to do that is an oddity created by fame and celebrity – and reliant on fans preserving and compiling cobain’s interviews regardless of whether he would have found that creepy or intrusive. you and i, we’re lucky, we have the gift of forgetfulness: i feel for john lydon when his world-changing 18-20 year old self is waved in his face as if that’s all his 60 year old self should be allowed to be – i’d be a lot more perturbed if someone didn’t evolve, learn, grow, change as they live life. in the case of cobain, he’s forever trapped in the words of a 20-26 year old young adult, from age 24 one in the middle of an unprecedented disruption and disturbance of his life. there’s also the wider context: cobain’s time in the music industry ended in the pre-internet era and before the huge mechanism around the release of demos and outtakes exploded. to use cobain quotations to claim what he definitely would/wouldn’t have done in a fundamentally different industry, as he approached 50 years old, with his work lacking the halo of death: it requires one to view cobain as a stone statue, as someone on whom an opinion can be imposed without them reacting or changing – a dead man. cobain, on nirvana’s very first release, wedged noise segments into the recording; on the band’s first album it was only the record label’s refusal that stopped him sticking ‘beans’ on the record; there are random background noises to ‘nevermind’ songs; noise jams wedged on the end of 1991 and 1993 albums; the band’s own archives raided for a christmas demo/outtake/radio release in 1992; the noise jam backing william s. burroughs; his contributions to melvins at that time – cobain’s objection to illicit release of stuff he didn’t like doesn’t mean the kind of material that came out on ‘montage of heck’ wasn’t material he could/would – or couldn’t/wouldn’t – have found a use for. to argue otherwise is legitimate, but does mean trapping cobain in the identity of the mainstream singer-songwriter pop-punk figure and refusing to place equal value on his very broad artistic, musical and creative palette. it comes down to competing visions of who cobain was and, therefore, is. again, those visions are something imposed by onlookers and you/i/we are all entitled to see him differently. it doesn’t mean we have absolute right to predict his future choices. intriguingly, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation if cobain had lived: his death fundamentally changes everything. deciphering whether cobain would have become a johnny cash style troubadour, an axl rose style recluse, a convert to electronica and the potential of remix culture, a lo-fi home recorder in the lou barlow mode, a reformation tour band leader, a noise experimenter or improviser in the thurston moore mode…who’s to say? of course that question has direct bearing on the reaction to posthumous releases. there’s no indication whether or not cobain would have been happy to see ‘mtv unplugged in new york’, ‘live at reading’ or ‘live and loud’ released. ‘live! tonight! sold out!’ is definitely and demonstrably not what he intended to release if he hadn’t died. if more outtake releases and ‘product’ were required there’s no way of telling what from the ‘with the lights out’ boxset he would or wouldn’t have been willing to release. it’s all personal opinion and belief: using cobain’s words to sanctify choices he never had a chance to make doesn’t validate or justify one’s choices any more or less than someone else’s opposing view. this brings me back to the monty python clip: it seems very pertinent to this kind of discussion of cobain – a man who gives no impression of having wanted people following him around or worshipping his words as incorruptible religious text to be used to bless or condemn others. using cobain’s 1992 words to condemn releases he wasn’t, isn’t and never will be aware of seems inane at best. cobain’s words shouldn’t be used to dictate the behaviour of other human beings for the rest of their lives: having made commercial arrangements with record and publishing companies, he explicitly granted them a degree of control over his work. similarly, krist novoselic, dave grohl, former members of nirvana, frances bean cobain, courtney love – they were all given degrees of control by cobain. these are factual indications of his intentions so why should they be downgraded and random interviews be privileged instead? billy raised another question: “does an artist’s wishes matter?” the answer is an absolute yes…and, on top of the rights the artist grants to others in exchange for support of one form or another, those wishes are called a will. a will is the official, provable testimony of an individual regarding what they want to happen after their death. it means that random people on the internet, random strangers in the street, relatives you’ve barely seen in years, commercial contacts you’ve had to work with – none of them get to twist your words or speak on your behalf. i was in a position fairly recently of having to execute someone’s last wishes – whereupon other people told me that my relative had intended something different. i explained openly that i would stick to what was written in the will and, secondly, what i was told by him in person. in the case of cobain, piecing together his intentions from public sources, having never met him, having no personal experience of him, it would seem a grim way to ‘respect’ him. the final part of what billy raised was “if you specifically go against (or ‘rape’ as kurt may have put it), their wishes and disrespect them, can you still really call yourself a fan?” this gets to the crux of something for me: no one has the right to tell you if you’re a fan or not. cobain spent his life seeking to escape the control of family, boss, record label. the charitable causes he used nirvana to support were about freeing people from the vulgar imposition of power by others – he believed everyone had the goddamn right to be who they are, how they wanted, without anyone else telling them they couldn’t. he was a punk after all! if you want to hear every note cobain ever played, if you just want to hear the official releases, if you don’t want to hear anything he didn’t personally choose to release before his death, if you just occasionally enjoy one song or another – no one, repeat, no one, gets to tell you that’s wrong. anyone who believes that imposing their views on others is the thing to do when it comes to nirvana hasn’t learnt much about cobain and “don’t know what it means” when it comes to his music. in my eyes, the best fans are ones who have taken cobain’s words and decided to do something active in this life: frankly, making a consumer choice to buy or not buy a record is a pretty poor way to show respect to cobain isn’t it? over at livenirvana there’s a community of fans devoting however much or little energy they can to finding and preserving recordings, interviews, images of cobain and nirvana – that’s an amazing thing to me. then again, if that’s not your thing, that’s cool – you’re allowed to just enjoy the music however you wish. in my case, writing about the uncertain living conditions cobain endured in his teenage years, the absence of a home or of security, it reinforced my decision to volunteer at a group supporting the homeless and to donate regularly to homeless charities. showing respect and honour is about doing something: it is not about telling others what to do or demanding they do it differently. a gentleman percussionist called william hooker bequeathed me a beautiful statement earlier this year: “if that’s your thing, that’s great, i’m not dismissing it – it’s just not my thing.” that’s what’s missing a lot of the time. cobain’s final plea was for ‘empathy’, the desire to listen to and respect other peoples’ feelings without trying to control, overpower or deny them. the world – particularly this year – seems to find it hard to move beyond right/wrong dominance or to do the hard work required to accept others feel differently and to seek commonalities. i’d personally rather cobain’s music didn’t rot in a californian vault – i don’t see any great honour in burying his music along with him. i thought, and people are welcome to disagree with me, that the ‘montage of heck’ soundtrack, out of all the posthumous cobain-related releases, was closest to his true anarchic artistic spirit. far from dishonouring him i felt it showed him to be a true artist, someone complex and hugely varied. so, the most crucial statement i can make today is, this is just my opinion – yours is good too. on this blog, sure, i’ll state my beliefs and put forward my reasoning and evidence – i hope it’s fun for you to read and if you have a different opinion on the things discussed…wicked. that’s all good! i mean, wow, i’m kinda just delighted we’re all still here in late 2016 discussing the life and works of a man and band who ceased to be 22 years ago. kurt cobain: could he have changed? posted: november 16, 2016 in in utero 1992-1993 12 at the louder than words literary music festival in manchester last weekend i watched penny rimbaud (once and always of crass) speak of his life philosophies and experiences including time spent at a meditational retreat: his conclusion being (i paraphrase) “i stared at a wall for 13 hours a day and discovered i only had enough content for 3 days.” it’s a fun thought, that ultimately the brain gets bored, can’t regurgitate enough of its memory banks to entertain for longer than that. i feel the same at times: writing about nirvana near every single day from february 2012 to the tail-end of 2016 left me, suddenly, with an absence, a feeling that i didn’t automatically have a reservoir of additional words to draw on. what to do? well, i’m a strong believer that when inner resources are low, other people are a source of energy. in this case, i was privileged enough to speak at an event in carlisle on friday night for words & guitars during which i was asked a fine question (which, again, i paraphrase): “was cobain unable to bring himself to change?” the question has been whirring round in my mind for a few days now. the question was a reaction to some of my earnest beliefs regarding cobain: that music had been a way to live a life free of bosses and free of control, to achieve an unmediated expression of self when, where and how he wanted (an understandably powerful force for a boy/teen who had so many homes, been rejected by so many people, had been so unwilling to exist within the context of a job.) that this way of being had been compromised repeatedly from the days of sub pop onward and – in late 1991/early 1992 – became an intolerable imposition on the privacy and freedom he sought. interviews, intrusion, his personal life and desires, how and when and where he played, the expectations placed upon his performances and his music, the analysis of his lyrics and thoughts, the commercial requirements, legal requirements, managerial requirements: it meant music was no longer an escape, hence the evidence seems to show he virtually ceased to write music, perform music, interview, record music for the remainder of his life. his attempt at ‘change’ was an interesting one: he essentially reverted to the only other happy life he had ever known – the family that had existed until 1976 (montage of heck, the film, portrayed this sense of the mirror image very effectively). it’s 1992, he gets his girlfriend pregnant and instead of insisting on abortion he decides he wants a child and, more so, he wants to get married to create the stability he had never experienced – it’s a strangely conservative move for the world’s foremost punk icon of the era. it creates a retreat for him: a cocoon which his managers, fans, band need have nothing to do with – where he can escape them all. it’s essentially what he does: buries himself in a series of hotel rooms and temporary residences right the way from the end of the asia/pacific tour until january 1994 when he moves into his lakeside mansion in one of seattle’s exclusive areas; hides away with his new family (and his drugs) as long as he can. it’s an attempt to escape, to change the destination his life has reached, to escape the nagging feeling that his genetic inheritance and his owninging condemned him to re-live all that was worst. it fails. ultimately he has to return to performance, he’s too polite to turn down a lot of the demands on him (though he might rage in private or engage in mild protest, for example, by never playing smells like teen spirit for mtv, only turning up to 18 days in studio after the recording of nevermind, refusing most interviews), he ends up with almost everyone who loves him explaining to him the consequences of his continued drug use…and with his music and his family both no longer providing him a retreat he has a significant spiritual crisis to confront: if the only lives he’s ever known, family and music, are at risk, then can he imagine or foresee a life after them? the answer is no. so, on the one hand, it’s clear he does make a quite significant attempt at change right there in 1992. but then again, the question really seems to be asking whether there wasn’t a more positive way out – could he stop drugs? couldn’t he leave music behind (if necessary) or change his engagement with the music industry to suit himself better? wasn’t there any chance of a continued existence with nirvana or without it? couldn’t he envisage life as a divorced father or, at least, a lengthy period of mending the familial bond (not being doped off his head likely helping with that)? my answer at the time came down to the futures i could imagine for him: cobain was an incredible magpie for the sounds of the underground (think of it: an album at easter 1986, near entirely new album by jan 1988, an entirely new album by jan 1989, a new album by april 1990, a different album by may 1991 with the band saying in interview after interview that they had their next album ready to go and that it’d be out in the summer of 1992 – so fast!) but there’s not much evidence that he could take on the freewheeling thurston moore/sonic youth cavalcade vibe with diversions into electronica, art/music, free jazz, improvisation – that path would have required something more expansive. the singer-songwriter, johnny cash-vibe doesn’t seem to beckon: people forget mtv unplugged in new york was a corporately imposed format, that ‘do re mi’ was acoustic because it was a demo not because he definitely intended it to be an acoustic song, that he only placed three fully acoustic songs on any of his albums, that his music had been getting wilder and more aggressive in 1992-1993 (remove the older songs written pre-nevermind and placed on in utero and what’s left is a lot of aggro and gloriously punky noise) with the last new songs he played with nirvana being the raucous ‘you know you’re right’ and the small shred played live in november/december 1993 then demo’ed briefly in studio in january 1994. but he was verbally dissatisfied with the repetitiveness of playing loud-quiet, verse-chorus-verse material too: so a more likely path is a dive back into the underground – it was suggested to me that cobain could very readily have slotted into the noise provocations of earth, perhaps his continued relationship with melvins might have inspired him to follow their more aggressively independent path. essentially if he chose to keep repeating the formula that made him mainstream worthy then he’d have sunk, same as the other alt rock gods of the era (smashing pumpkins, pearl jam) did when tastes moved on in the mid-to-late nineties: popular taste waits for no man and few artists get a top flight career for more than a few years. my favourite vision of him, however, was suggested to me when i thought of another character cobain is often compared to – axl rose. beyond the mutual abhorrence, the clear differences in style, ego, impetus – rose achieved what cobain had wanted: an apparently utter independence from any fresh label demands or requirements. the fading of hard rock hadn’t decapitated guns ‘n’ roses, they remained ‘the other’ biggest rock band of the years 1991-1994. i have no desire to see an aged cobain taking to the reunion circuit looking flabby, plastic, weary and leading audiences in karaoke run-throughs of nirvana songs: my fondest outcome would be a clean cobain, retreating entirely into private recording, maybe the odd show here or there, the odd guest appearance with friends, but otherwise devoted to recording the album the world is waiting for…and then never releasing it. just letting the expectation, the imagining, the myth run wild – while remaining utterly immune to it. it’s pretty much what happened with his death – it’d be lovely if it had been his life too. so, could cobain change? the additional thought that came to me was how much change cobain had already experienced in his life: a vast number of addresses, homes, temporary homelessness and so forth during his young life – he rolled with it. the daily change that comes with touring as one rolls in and out of vans, floor-space or other inadequate sleeping arrangements, on and off stages, round towns and down roads. the changing array of personnel lined up behind his musician vision. the move from demo, to studio, to single, to album, to full label artist, to new label…it seems churlish of me to have forgotten how much change cobain had endured in a very young life. in many ways he had changed more than most people do by age 27: most people have rolled with the expectations placed on them – from school, to university, to work, to relationship being just one path. people value positive change: quitting smoking, taking up exercise, moving home, moving job – cobain is maybe not being credited for the amount of change he did endure though it’s very true he remained a man with a particular vision and particular desires until the end. louder than words, nirvana, 11-13 november 2016 in manchester posted: november 7, 2016 in cobain on cobain, dark slivers: seeing nirvana in the shards of incesticide, i found my friends: the oral history of nirvana, nirvana news 0 wanted to share the information related to the louder than words festival taking place from friday this week through sunday 13 at the palace hotel in manchester. quite the event, it’s an entire festival focused on music literature and music writing: i’m filling some time on sunday noon in interview with john robb, formerly of sounds – currently leading the louder than war magazine – who interview kurt cobain back in 1989 and on a number of other occasions. looks like quite the event, and what the hey, three days worth of events, talks and moments – so if you’ve time then pop in. i’m planning to get in early and just soak in as much as i can. one moment i’m definitely looking forward to is artist chris gollon and musician eleanor mcevoy on saturday evening. they collaborated together on a series of paintings and songs which work so well together as a live experience: the music connects one to the art on the walls, while the images let one read more into the words and music. eleanor is a really great performer, it’s an art being able to dominate a space so completely with just a guitar and voice – to create variety with limited means and an excellent story-teller’s vibe. bringing in chris to talk about the pictures and add detail to it all, brilliant. i had a great evening when i saw them together in february. live in carlisle: nirvana, cobain on cobain, conversation posted: november 4, 2016 in cobain on cobain, dark slivers: seeing nirvana in the shards of incesticide, i found my friends: the oral history of nirvana 2 http://www.cumbrialive.co.uk/author-nick-soulsby-to-discuss-his-journey-in-search-of-nirvana-0cd8655f-c92f-47e1-b930-da3647d8dbcb-ds friday 11th november at cakes & ale (castle street, carlisle) – something a bit different for an autumn evening, i’m going to be sitting down with doug baptie (who runs the words & guitars magazine/site) and talking about nirvana. sounds like my kind of venue, frankly, the idea of sitting with a group of enthusiasts, with a decent beer, trying to pour out more of the material i’ve learnt these past years. sometimes i have trouble remembering it all: conversations with 230-odd of the people who played with, shared stage with, recorded with cobain and nirvana – conversations with well over 100 of the journalists, radio hosts, students who interviewed the members of the band over the years – that whole visit to the north west of the u.s… i’ve moved on – just finished preparing “we sing a new language: the oral discography of thurston moore” for release in the u.k. (omnibus) next spring, then in the u.s. next summer; commencing work on other works; of course the interviews, reviews, brief articles i’ve contributed to words & guitars, the vinyl factory, clash – so it’s nice for me to have had this time to sit and go back over my own words, to go back to the beginnings of the blog and look at what i was working on and the patterns i was seeing from all the data available about nirvana and their activities. i’m going to take an album of photographs with me focused on aberdeen, wa – i think cobain’s journey is amazing because of where it starts; i want to talk about the speed he’s working at and developing at during the late eighties (a new album’s worth of material every year 1986-1990 showing off his mastery of different aspects of the u.s. underground); the coincidences/contacts that nirvana benefited from and that helped them rise…then, at some point, i guess we’ll talk about the path down. i like the idea of just sitting discussing it with people who are curious about the subject, hearing what people have to say, knocking back and forth the topics on their minds…is there a nicer way to spend a night than with fellow travellers? naturally, if you’re in the north west or feel like a trip over there (i’m intrigued to see carlisle, never been myself) then everyone welcome. i’ve been told the bookshop hosting this is charming. totally separate topic: i had the good fortune to interview adam harding of dumb numbers, charming bloke, i’ve become a real follower of what he’s been expressing with the band… http://www.wordsandguitars.co.uk/2016/11/in-conversation-dumb-numbers-adam-harding/ older entries create a free website or blog at wordpress.com. nirvana legacy create a free website or blog at wordpress.com. post to cancel


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