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anxious annies…finding a balance to cope as the parent! https://mypartyof5.com/2015/08/12/anxious-annies-finding-a-balance-to-cope-as-the-parent/
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turning fear to focus! https://mypartyof5.com/2015/07/07/turning-fear-to-focus/
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out of our control https://mypartyof5.com/2016/10/17/out-of-our-control/
tourette’s syndrome awareness week 😍 https://mypartyof5.com/2016/05/08/tourettes-syndrome-awareness-week-%f0%9f%98%8d/
the final piece of the puzzle! https://mypartyof5.com/2015/10/24/the-final-piece-of-the-puzzle/
time is of the essence! https://mypartyof5.com/2015/10/11/time-is-of-the-essence/
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my party of 5 main menu skip to content homeaboutcontactlinksnew year, new beginnings competition! life is about learning. post navigation ← older posts out of our control posted on october 17, 2016 by natalietrew 2 10 years of parenting and you’d think we’d have it worked out. truth is, it doesn’t get any easier it just changes. as children grow so do their problems and when you think you’ve worked one problem out, before you know it, you’re faced with another one. the last few weeks have been trying to say the least…hell what am i talking about, most weeks are trying but the last few has seen me gain a whole new batch of grey hair and wrinkles! when you give birth and ride out the little person years, one thing you have a lot of is control. you can control what they do (well sometimes anyway), where they go, what they eat, what they wear and most of their decisions are being made by you. this gives you a sense of security and safety that you know every little step of their being. but then suddenly they hit an age where they are making more of the decisions and your control has reduced…this is an uneasy feeling at the best of times, but something we as their parent have to accept! boys! they are rough, tough, active, carefree spirits. they think differently to girls and conduct themselves in a different manner. they are closed books and to try and find out any information that is possibly floating around in that head of theirs – it’s like pulling teeth! our son bailey kane trew, has had a very successful sporting year thus far. he had an awesome football season that saw him and his team come third in a state football carnival in townsville and to end the season, they won their local under 10 carnival and bay received player of the carnival. he also received the logan brothers under 10 player of the year!!! he received age champ at his school athletics carnival and went on to have a very successful district athletics carnival where he placed 1st in 100m, high jump, discus and 2nd in 200m and multi event. this meant he was off to the regional athletics carnival which was held last month! if you’re a regular follower of my blog you would know that bailey has a moderate to severe case of tourette’s syndrome, accompanied with anxiety and ocd. as the end of each school term draws to a close, he becomes very tired, therefore his tourettes has been pretty bad in the last month or so. towards the end of last month, as each day became closer to his met west regional athletics carnival, his mood, anxiety and tourettes was worsening. come the morning of day 1 of the 3 day carnival, you couldn’t even look at him without getting your head bitten off. this is how it played out…. day 1 – 100m heats and final…. we got there with plenty of time to spare, although the way bay was carrying on in the car you’d think we were 2 hours late. the anticipation was killing him and he just wanted to be there. we couldn’t find his district team for about 10 minutes and of course they were the furtherest team away – you can imagine how stressed bay was at this point. once he got his competitors singlet on and checked in, he seemed a bit more relaxed. i went with him to warm up and he didn’t want to be told. i’d say one thing he’d ignore me and do his own thing. i kept my cool but i really wanted to get him and shake him…but what was that going to achieve. after he warmed up we went back into the arena where the 10 year olds were being called to the marshalling area. this is where the nerves really kicked in. every time i made a sound he jumped down my throat…once he got his named marked off i stayed clear. i gave him a final kiss and wished him well and i took off like i was doing the 100m sprint! he was in heat 3 lane 5. each race was rolled through quickly. before i knew it he was up. i felt sick. i just wanted him to do well for his sake. i knew how bad he wanted to do well in the 100m as this is his pet event. the gun went off. he got an ok start and looked great for the first fifty metres as he was in the lead. he pulled back a bit in the second fifty and ended up coming second and automatically qualified for the final! he wasn’t overly impressed with his performance no matter how much we told him he had done a great job. we knew the next four hours until the final was going to be long. he just couldn’t relax. he didn’t know what he wanted. he was like a cat on a hot tin roof. i thought back when he was little. if he was like this i would take him him home for a nap, i was in control of that…but this time it was out of my control. it finally came time to warm up. i left him to warm up with his team mates. i just wanted him to be happy and calm and that seemed to be working. sadly the lead up to the final was painful. they were held in the marshalling area for 45mins before his race. it was cool and windy so you can imagine his muscles would have cooled down since his warm up. it was finally his turn. i kept praying he’d make the top 4 -that’s all he wanted so he would be part of the relay team. gosh my heart stopped when the gun went off. he missed the start, faught back and caught up to the pack and gave it his all and came 6th. still such a great effort but i knew his heart would be broken and that it was! he was very upset and disappointed in himself. the boy he beat twice at districts came 2nd and he knew he didn’t run the race he should have. i was upset inside for him. we kept telling him how amazing he was to come this far. he was in such a soul searching state, that afternoon when we got home he asked me to take him to the hairdressers and cut off his hair…wowza! the second day saw him do discus and high jump. he seemed a lot more relaxed than the first day. the weather was horrible – cold and rainy. because of this the whole day was put back and they spent so much of their time waiting around. he did really well though and came 9th in discus and 7th in high jump. he accepted discus, but he was upset with his high jump performance. i told him for someone who doesn’t train in these events he did amazing to place in the top 10 of the biggest region in queensland!!! once again i took home a dejected boy! i took a different approach on the morning of the third day. i really fired him up. we sang songs on channel v, even danced and i made him scream to the top of his lungs “i can do it!” he needed this as his head space after the previous two days was not good and the 200m has never been his favourite event. i knew it was going to be a great day! he was back to my happy bay. he was calm, he was joking around and he did an amazing job. he came first in his heat, qualified second fastest and he didn’t seem nervous at all! he had nothing to lose. all i said was give it your all so you don’t go home disappointed in your performance and that he did. it was a close race but he came 3rd and made the met west regional athletics team…the tears were flowing!! he was so proud of himself. we were so proud of him. to pull himself out of his hole and to claw his way back to victory was such an amazing thing to see. you couldn’t wipe the smile off his face for days!!! his tourettes was so bad from all the anxiety and excitement. it was out in full force to see, but that didn’t stop him from standing proudly on that podium to collect his medal. he didn’t let his tourettes defeat or embarrass him…our hearts were happy and sad all in one! and when he tried his met west jacket on for the first time he said “mum i’ve been waiting to wear one of these since i was a little boy!” bless his cotton socks! what an experiment. we’ve all learnt a lot from this moment. we as parents, learnt to take a backward step. bay is of an age now where he is making more decisions for himself. we won’t ever stop encouraging, supporting and giving our advice based on experience, but we will back off if he doesn’t want to listen. failure is learning. when he didn’t succeed on the first two days, he learnt that his attitude was apart of his problem. once he fixed that, he was successful and only he could fix that. he’s not only dealing with the hormones of a 10 year old, he’s dealing with his neurological disorder. we can’t even begin for a second to know how that feels – one word…inspirational!!! so the time has come. for the next 2 days, our boy will compete in the state athletics carnival. he automatically qualified for the 200m and upon receiving all the nominations, he has also been nominated for the 100m and we just found out on the weekend he’s got the call up for the relay team – this has excited him the most!! thank you to everyone who always supports our family and everything we do….it really takes a village to raise a child and we are apart of one big special village! good luck boo…we are so proud of you no matter what!!! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in uncategorized tourette’s syndrome awareness week 😍 posted on may 8, 2016 by natalietrew 0 this week marks the annual tourette’s syndrome awareness week…. if you are a regular follower of my party of 5 blog, you would know that my son was diagnosed last year with tourette’s syndrome. tourette’s syndrome is a neurological disorder where a person has both involuntary motor and vocal tics. there is no cure. some people grow out of it and some people unfortunately don’t and with age it can improve. and while there are prescribed medications to help reduce the severity of the tics, there is nothing on the market that suppresses the tics completely. it’s been a long road to get to where we are today. it took 2 years for my son to be diagnosed and now 6 months down the track, we are still learning more and more about the condition. each week sees a new tic and the art of patience and understanding has been learnt to its full potential by everyone who comes in contact with our boy. i’m writing this blog to help spread the word on a disorder that lacks knowledge and understanding. growing up whenever tourette’s was mentioned, the first thing you thought of were the people who shout obscene language at any given time. thank you to movies, that is how tourette’s is portrayed. although some people with tourette’s do have those kinds of vocal tics, it’s actually not as common as you think. the swearing part of tourette’s is a substrand of the disorder, along with repeating what people say and repeating one self over and over again. it’s also a spectrum disorder so can range from mild to severe cases. my 10 year old son bailey, has a mild to moderate case. on his good days he can be very mild with the odd tic evident here and there but on a bad day he can constantly tic both motor and vocal all day. this has a lot to do with how tired he is, how fatigued his body is, if something is causing him to feel anxious or if something exciting is approaching. also a person with tourette’s syndrome usually always is diagnosed with one or more other disorders and for bay he was diagnosed with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder before he was diagnosed with tourette’s. for a child or adult for that matter to live with tourette’s syndrome means they are living on an ever lasting roller coaster with many ups, downs and spinning twirls….and so are their families. when i stop and think about my boy, he brings me tears and goosebumps at how amazing he is. he gets on with life every day just like you and i do. he puts on a brave face and takes on what this world throws at him and turns it into success. he is a bright boy (particularly with maths) and does well at school, he plays percussion in the school band and he is a fantastic footballer, basketballer and athlete. he has this tremendous ability to be able to contain his tics and anxious and ocd behaviour at school, but this is quickly unleashed once he is back in his safe place…our home. but as his mum i can handle that. as long as he is doing well at school, maintaining friends and is happy, i can handle the rest! and between seeing a child psychologist monthly, attending group tourette’s therapy sessions monthly, visiting a naturopath regularly and taking a variety of natural medications, all of this is assisting with allowing bay to be the best he can be! my son has tourette’s syndrome. he will tap everything in sight, shout out when you least expect it, repeat himself over and over again, repeat movie lines, tic for the majority of a snuggle but at the end of the day this brave young man is normal….just with tics! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in family, parenting, uncategorized tagged motor, neurological disorder, tics, tourettes syndrome, vocal the final piece of the puzzle! posted on october 24, 2015 by natalietrew 0 since my first born was a toddler i knew there was something different about him. his behaviour was always so challenging and he couldn’t handle his routine being changed. he would have melt down after melt down over the smallest of things and most days felt like i was living with a time bomb waiting to explode. for a long time i thought he was on the autism spectrum, but as he grew older his social skills never challenged him and he always fitted into wherever we went. he has always been the kind of child who could hold it together and be the best child imaginable at school or when visiting at other people’s places, but the minute he entered his safe environment which is his home or seeing us as his parents, he would lose his shit! as year after year has passed, we have spent so much time and effort into parenting our son by being strict, consistent, establishing rules and routines and i stress for a child like my son – consistent! i never felt the need to seek help because his schooling was never affected and we were handling him fine. but then two years ago he developed a motor tic. after a visit to our gp, who wanted to investigate it as a ‘muscular’ problem, we spent 6 months taking him to a physiotherapist and chiropractor, but it was not getting any better and in that time he developed a vocal tic as well. it was at this point i knew it was time to seek advice from a paediatrician. on our first visit, he was diagnosed with anxiety and ocd and we were told that in some cases a child’s anxiety can be so bad that it can cause a ‘nervous’ tic and it will go away within a few months. from there we went to a child psychologist to work on his anxiety and ocd issues, which was really good as we had a fantastic therapist, but i still felt like i wasn’t being heard! by this stage my son had presented with tics for 12 months and they weren’t getting any better only worse. thankfully at one of our therapy appointments, just after we returned from our holiday to america, bailey’s tics were so bad that our therapist finally thought what i’d been thinking for a while – his tics were more than anxiety related! she suggested that we needed to take bay to a neurologist. the push for this was even more important when his tics were becoming more noticeable at school and starting to affect his school work. at this point our paediatrician was still convinced that the tics were anxiety related but agreed to refer bay to a neurologist…this was back in february and last week was finally our appointment! it was a loooong 8 months of waiting. as each month went by and even with therapy, bay’s tics were going no where. they were constantly changing and the intensity of them was being heightened by fatigue, anxiety and excitement. when his tics first started i did a lot of research about tics and tic disorders and as time went by i was convinced that my son had tourette syndrome. everything fitted with what he was doing and it was this article that i discovered, that had truly convinced me. then finally last week on tuesday october 13th at midday, after being assessed by a neurologist and going over his history, the final piece to the puzzle of my boy who we’ve been trying to solve for many years was answered – bailey has tourette syndrome. although it deeply saddens me, i was more relieved that we walked away with an answer to his problems, i would have been more angry if we were told to come back for a reassessment in 6 months! we left the hospital that day feeling positive that we knew what we were dealing with now and after 2 years of going back and forth to specialist appointments, our son finally has some understanding of what is wrong with him. i went into robot mode for a few days and just did what i had to do. contacted the school, had meetings with his teacher and deputy, organised therapy for the rest of this year and it wasn’t until i was running one morning that it really hit me. as i was pounding the pavement all that kept going through my mind was “shit, i can’t believe my son has tourette’s!” but i kept telling myself he will be fine and we’ve got this! most days none of us think twice about it all and we just do, as we’ve been dealing with it for so long, but some days are harder than others. just recently bay has had moments himself where he’s struggling with it all and has asked if we can rip the tics out of him…these moments break my heart into a million pieces;( i never show him how much it pains me to see him like this, i just be there to hold and comfort him and tell him he is stronger than any child i know and that he will get through this. we have consciously made sure we have kept the communication very open with bailey so he knows exactly what he is dealing with and we’ve also told sienna everything so she has a better understand too. this has been the best thing and has really bought us even closer together as a family. i’m just so proud of how our children are handling this situation – so brave, so mature! this is something that we will live with possibly forever and it is up to us to provide bay with whatever we have too, to make life easier while living with tourette syndrome. this diagnosis doesn’t change anything, he’s still our beautiful boy, he’s still a typical 9-year-old boy that annoys the crap out of his sisters and drives me to run a lot of kilometres each week, but i love him to death and wouldn’t have it any other way. he is and will always be bright and this was evident at his parent-teacher interview last week. imagine being in class all day, trying not to tic and still having to pay attention and complete school work – i couldn’t imagine! and i’m so happy that he has his sport to release all that built up anxiety and energy. he is currently doing sprint training twice a week and is thriving! where to from here… we started therapy last week at the kooky kid clinic which is where we will be going fortnightly for one on one appointments and monthly for tourette syndrome group sessions, with other children and parents who live our life. we have been taking bay to a naturopath this past month and at this stage we are trying to do everything natural before we think it’s time for any medication….we’ll know when the time is right for this! our aim is to have bay leading his normal life and be happy in his own skin. happiness and confidence goes such a long way and this is all we want for him. this whole experience has shown me how strong we really are as a team. we only have our children’s best interest at heart and we weren’t going to give up until we got an answer. we really hate that our son has to live with this challenge everyday of his life, but we know that he will come out a stronger and better person with amazing empathy in the end. it’s not the end of the world as there is always people way worse off than you! like always, we relish in the highs and hold on during the lows and when we see our boy struggling with his tics, we will make sure that we are there for him. as his mum, i promise to always be there to catch him when he’s falling – although he would squash me now as he is a giant lol! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in parenting tagged anxiety, behaviour, child psychologist, ocd, tourette syndrome time is of the essence! posted on october 11, 2015 by natalietrew 0 like sand through the hour-glass… does anyone else feel like your days are always under the pump with each second, minute and hour all so precious, in order for your day to be orchestrated just right, so everything you need to get done in a day actually gets done! i know that’s exactly my life. i spend my day clock watching, asking myself ‘what’s the time?!?’. time for work, time for school, time for appointments, time for training, time for the kids sport, time for my run, time for a function, time to prepare meals, time to pick up kids – there are days where i feel like i don’t have time to breathe! i feel like i’m constantly just behind that sand in the hour-glass and the moments where i feel like i’m in front, some hurdle is put in my way and i’m back behind it again. from the minute i wake to the minute i sleep at night, each hour is almost planned out with something that has to be done. time is constantly of the essence and once i reach the end of each school term i feel mostly exhausted from all the planning and organising that is put in to our life staying on track or should i say on time! this thing called time is going so bloody fast! how is it already less than 3 months to christmas!!!! with the craziness of what this year has been and how fast it’s gone, i made a promise to myself that these last school holidays would not be about time and i’m happy to say this promise was kept! we had the best two weeks – the september school holidays are always my favourite! each day was fun, slow-paced, no timelines, just get ready when we want, leave when we want and go home when we want! it was bliss! it was the time the kids and i really needed. we even managed some time as a family with kane! we covered almost everything – theme parks, playgrounds, movies, shopping, baking, swimming, the beach and lots of relaxing! the kids were happy, well-behaved and got along so nicely! school holidays is such precious time for us now that both saturday and sundays are consumed by the kid’s sport through the winter months of the year! thank goodness sport breaks for the holidays. now that we are down to only 4 days of sport a week and our sundays are finally free, we can cruise a little on the weekends and it leaves more time to hang together and socialise with family and friends – that’s what life is about! after a dreadful third term, i was determined to start this term being the most positive i could be, hoping that would set the vibe for the term. it did start off much better than last term and i’ve been on time to everything so far, but as each day went by this week and the anticipation of getting back into routine with a child who suffers anxiety, the week became hard. i live in hope that this will settle a lot quicker than last term though. but for now, on days where the going is getting tough, i will look back at all the beautiful photos that captured our awesome holiday together! time is really of the essence for me now. the coming weeks are so precious as this is the last term that i will have a child home with me. with my baby starting prep next year, this will be my 10th and final year of having a side kick on my days off….whatever will i do?!?! i’m so use to stopping and starting jobs, having someone to ‘help’ me with my chores. i’m so use to having someone to chat with (whether i’m in the mood or not heheheheh), all i know is that it’s going to be extremely quiet!!!!! so as the time gets closer to being on my own, i will be relishing in my time with my baby girl and hoping that this time passes by steadily! here’s to an awesome final school term….bring on summer and the festive season!!!! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in parenting tagged children, family, parenting, quality time, school holidays calling it! posted on september 8, 2015 by natalietrew 0 hands up if you’ve had enough of this unpredictable weather that keeps cycling virus after virus around? 👋👋👋 triple hands up for me!!! this winter has been long and painful. it’s been cold, windy and so up and down!! this week is our 6th week of someone in our house having some sort of virus or infection and i hate to say it but it’s taken me down too!! 6 weeks ago, mia woke early hours of a saturday morning vomiting, which took its turn through all the kids for the next week. since then we’ve been hit one by one with something and some of us more than once. it’s seen mia with an ear infection which has left her temporally with some hearing loss, bailey had the most horrific sinus infection, sienna now has a bad case of tonsillitis to the point of vomiting and i’ve spent most of this week curled up on my lounge as my chest and voice recover from the flu! this has been our worst winter in a couple of years. i haven’t been this sick in a long time and when i do get a cold, cough or flu usually i can soldier on and get over it in a few days, but this time i had to call it! i started getting sick last tuesday at the end of my working week. i ignored it for a few days and kept telling myself i’d be fine like all the other times i had a bit of a cold. i never felt bad enough to put myself to bed, but in an instant by friday lunch time my voice started to fail! i know some of you must be thinking (that must of killed me lol) and by the time i got to sunday and i kept telling everyone “i’m fine, i’m not sick”, by the end of father’s day i finally called it and said those two words out loud “i’m sick!!!” i hated saying it, but for my own health and well-being it had to be said. my body was obviously telling me it was completely exhausted and needed rest. so that i’ve done, especially after i was ordered to by my doctor. this week i’ve been getting up each morning, getting the kids ready for school, dropping them off in the drop off zone and then coming back home to resume my spot on the lounge. this time forced my body to recover properly and truth be told if i had of done this a month ago, when i originally had a bad chest, i probably wouldn’t have ended up so bad. and i’m very pleased to say that after having the final season of mcleod’s daughters sitting in the dvd draw for 5 years, i’ve finally watched it, enjoyed it immensely and cried many times like a big baby lol – oh alex why did you have to die 😢😢😢! time like this always makes me reflect. reflect on what’s important and what’s not. it’s eased away the cloud of smoke that’s been hanging around me for a bit. it’s recharged me and turned on that light bulb that i felt went out. it’s given me the energy i need to get through the rest of this year, which is always the most busiest time as we approach the festive season. this week has been a rough one, but we got through it together – and as for my husband…he’s awesome! as a mum, we are always putting everyone first. we do to please. we plan in our sleep. we start a new job before we have finished our last. we are a taxi service, cook, cleaner, nurse, therapist and referee. we are everyone’s everyone, but sometimes, just sometimes we have to stand up and call it that it’s ‘that time’ where i need to rest and recover. know your bodies mummas, know when to call it…you’ll thank yourself for it! so as the winter months are now behind us, i prayer that this is the end of a long road of sickness for us and anyone else who has had the same sort of winter and by the sounds of it most of brisbane have been living the same hell! bring on summer i say and lots of sun, sand and swimming!!!!! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in health tagged body, flu, health, rest, sick time to shine! posted on september 8, 2015 by natalietrew 0 i love writing a blog that has a happy ending and this one does 😉…… almost three years ago when my middle baby started prep she was shy, quiet, reserved and suffered separation anxiety. sienna (aka sie sie) was the little girl who never caused any harm, never caused any commotion and was the one who would always be the peace keeper to make everyone else happy. she was the little girl who was too shy to talk to strangers. she was the little girl who hid behind my leg if someone tried to engage in a conversation. she was the little girl who would be pushed around in the toddler area of a play ground but would never make waves and would go to another area to play. she’s always been bright but lacked confidence in her own ability, and her chance to shine was always crippled by that. but that was then….. over the past few years while she’s been at school, she has been so very lucky to have the most amazing educators who have not only nurtured her learning, but have never given up on her when it comes to her being confident. from prep to now (end of grade 2), her walls that she has built so strong around her, have been chipped away and knocked down bit by bit, layer by layer. i’m so happy to now say that my daughter who i’ve always worried about where all of this would end up, is on top of her world! she now oozes with confidence, challenges herself at school with new concepts and tasks and is reaping the rewards. only a few weeks ago sie sie received an award for moving up 6 levels in her reading just in a couple of months. to say i’m proud is an understatement. i knew she had it in her, but she has always lacked confidence with her reading, but now this boost has paved the way for her. living with a brother that is very confident (almost too confident) has to be hard when you’re battling a lack of confidence yourself and it sure doesn’t help when her little 4-year-old sister corrects her and answers questions for her all the time. i think it’s safe to say sienna has found her voice in her home and in her school life. she is no longer the girl who hides behind us, nor is she the girl who is shy and softly spoken. she is funny, charismatic, fearless and very mature. she stands up for herself and is very caring for her peers who struggle with things that other children take for granted. she is confident in her own skin. this has also been evident with her sporting achievements this year. sienna started playing basketball at the beginning of this year when she was only 6 and a half. after one match of playing in under 8s, she was asked to play in the under 10 mixed division. she had such a wonderful first season and was asked to play in the under 11 girls this season. this also followed with receiving a place in the under 12 girls rep team, but due to only being 7 and not even playing for a year yet, we thought it would be best to wait for rep basketball until she is a little older. we get so much enjoyment out of watching her shine in her chosen sport and her infectious smiles and giggles on court are beautiful. this girl has come so far it makes my heart beat with pride! so to all the mummas out there who worry about their quiet achieves who lack confidence, be patient and try not to worry. this experience for me has shown me that all children develop in their own way and in their own time. the solution to this is time. children shine when they are ready to let down their walls of security. for some it’s easier than others. all we can do is encourage and support them and be there to celebrate their success. this year sure has been my daughter’s time to shine and what a wonderful feeling it’s been for us all! all i can say, there is hope for my littlest girl yet lol! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in parenting, teaching tagged achievement, children, confidence, learning keep on keeping! posted on august 23, 2015 by natalietrew 0 it’s been 4 and half years since my life changed. 4 and half years since i was diagnosed with a heart condition while i was 37 weeks pregnant with my littlest baby. that moment of my life, without a doubt, was singlehandedly the most frightening i’ve ever felt. hearing the words mortality, rupture, open heart surgery, icu, was like living a nightmare. i was about to become a mum for the third time and while i should have been embracing the moment, i was scared out of my wits as to how it would all end….but thankfully with the support of an amazing family, wonderful friends, the best cardiologist i could ask for and the strength that all of this provides for me to keep on keeping, i’m still here to tell my story! this week i had my annual heart scan. this past year has been a very busy one. between work, the kids education and sport and the busy day to day chores of life with 3 kids, how can life not be busy. we travelled to the states where my daughter decided to split open her head – cause that’s not going to give your heart a scare! our son was diagnosed with anxiety, ocd and a motor and vocal tic – that’s enough to raise my blood pressure most days! i trained for my first half marathon and to date have run 2 now – this was always going to be a question of is it too much? but after lying there, feeling sick to my stomach like i always do during my scan on wednesday, it was so delightful to hear my results hadn’t altered since my last scan. yippee!!! i was so relieved. it’s always the fear of the unknown with my condition. you just never know. although i look and feel fantastic on the outside, without that scan who knows what’s happening on the inside. what deteriorates my condition is high blood pressure and thankfully mine is always low but you just never know! last year’s scan, for the first time since diagnosis, there was some deterioration. it was only slight but it was movement. i was taken back to all the emotions i felt when i was first diagnosed – scared, overwhelmed, anxious, timid. but that was my scan after i lost my nana – that movement was clearly from a broken heart;( my aorta is now dilated to 4.6cm. it’s still just sitting in the moderate range as severe is 5cm and i shall do everything in my power to maintain this to avoid open heart surgery. each day i make conscious decisions on my food intake, i exercise 5-6 times a week, rest when i can, sleep as much as i can and do things for myself that make me happy! next month i see my cardiologist to discuss my health and any further plans that need to be made. but for now i will keep on keeping. i will enjoy the small things in life. i will laugh out loud when i need to. i will remain as calm as i can when i really want to rip someone’s head off (lol). i will appreciate what my life consists of and i will be grateful everyday the moment our little angel baby was conceived, because without her, who knows how long i would be on this earth to tell my story! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in health, me tagged cardiologist, dilated aorta, echo, family, heart condition anxious annies…finding a balance to cope as the parent! posted on august 12, 2015 by natalietrew 0 i’ve been absent from the blogging world for the past month. a month that has zapped me of my energetic soul. a month where i feel i’ve been put through the wringer and i’m trying to dry out. a month that has seen us all sick and battling this exceptionally cold winter we are having. a month that has been very trying to say the least. although the kids are still at the tail end of being sick, i’m feeling so much better than i was as i can feel my head is above water once again! if you are a regular follower of my blog you would know that two out of three of my children (eldest and youngest) suffer anxiety and my son’s anxiety is accompanied with ocd and a motor and vocal tic. he’s been having therapy since the end of last year and up until a month ago he was in the best place he’s ever been. his anxiety had almost vanished, his ocd was minimal and his tics were so mild you could hardly notice. then term 3 hit and so did bailey – like a tidal wave!! the past month has seen so much work that we’ve all done become undone and it’s left us feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable at the prospect of the future. just when you feel like you’ve got a grip on things a curve ball is always thrown… anxiety or any mental health issue for that matter, can be so debilitating and not only for the person suffering with it, but for the people who surround them on a daily basis. going through the same speech pattern to reassure them everyday, picking up the pieces after a melt down, handing out consequences for inappropriate actions, waiting for the next situation to occur…it’s extremely hard work and intense. i’ve changed my whole attitude towards it all as of late. whenever my children’s anxiety are at a peak, i always find myself using it as a reflection of our parenting. but the reality is, there isn’t anything we’ve changed, it’s something in them that has been triggered by something that surrounds them and all i can do is put the measures in place to help them deal with the rough times and always enjoy the good times. as the parent dealing with what feels like a cyclone, it’s important to find a balance in life in order to maintain your own mental health. instead of constantly laying there at night wondering what the hell am i going to do next, i find ways to help bring out my inner calm and peace. if that means, online browsing (and few purchases lol) then i do. i make sure i regularly get my hair done and i’m even going to treat myself to getting my nails done every few weeks from now on! exercise and running is my savour and having chats with my mum and sisters…well i don’t know what i’d do without them. my husband and i are lucky to have wonderful friends who we enjoy having time out with and of course if we get the chance to have a date night – we jump at it! when i read this last paragraph back to myself, it made me feel vein and like i’m giving up! but it’s the complete opposite. doing the things i love for myself gears me up to be the best parent i can be, to children who suffer anxiety and if having pretty nails while dealing with this is what i have to do – then i will lol! it’s not an easy gig by any means and having one child who doesn’t suffer anxiety (finally her separation anxiety has passed) i know how much easier parenting could be if my two other children didn’t carry a monkey around on their backs – so to speak. all of these things that i do to keep myself sane, allows me to get up each day and face whatever is thrown my way. this all needs to be balanced with fitting in one on one time with each child. i believe families who live the cycle we do, need to make a priority to each individual child. you not only have the child who suffers, but the child or children who don’t put up with a lot and give up things just to keep the peace. i find that having time alone with each child is a lovely way to get back on track if the pathway to happiness has had a bump in it! keeping positive amongst everything is a key to my daily mantra. i try my hardest everyday to maintain a positive attitude towards life. don’t get me wrong, i have my people who i sound off to…we all need someone who we can release our inner thoughts too. i’ve had quite a few people lately message me and tell me how positive i always am. such a lovely compliment. i would far rather celebrate the good that’s in my life rather than reliving the daily struggles we face at home. these moments are moments we learn from…the great moments are memories created and they are the things i want to share and shout to this world. because although life throws curve balls, the goodness always out ways them! our life for now will always be full of consistent routines, clear rules, boundaries and consequences, early bedtimes, debriefing sessions and conscious thought put into down time. we always plan new outings and go through new experiences with the kids well before it’s going to happen, to help eliminate any anxiety attacks. but our life is full of greatness. we don’t ever miss out. we may go through hell to get to the goodness, but we always get there. one day we’ll be able to take the short cut, but for now most of our journeys involve the long way round but we always get there in the end! i wish everyday our anxious annies didn’t struggle. it breaks my heart when i see them faced with a situation that is overwhelming for them. but together my husband and i will never give up. we will always go above and beyond to help them be the best version of themselves! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in family tagged anxiety, balanced life, children, ocd, parenting turning fear to focus! posted on july 7, 2015 by natalietrew 0 last sunday, i ran my second half marathon. it was awesome, it was fun, it was empowering, it was everything i’d hoped it would be and i can’t wait to do it all over again…. if you are a regular follower of my blog you’d know my story. in a nutshell, i was diagnosed with a heart condition while pregnant with my third baby and instead of dwelling on my condition and wrapping myself up in cotton wool, almost 4 years ago i turned to running, to help me keep fit and lean, which helps keep my blood pressure down, which is a trigger in my heart deteriorating. the year i was diagnosed, i oozed with fear. i couldn’t bare the thought of not seeing my babies grow into adults. i was scared of needing open heart surgery. so many emotions went through my head. but with the help of my amazing cardiologist and regular testing and appointments, i’ve maintained my heart condition with only a slight variation since diagnosis over 4 years ago. running has been my savour (of course as well as my incredible family) but it’s really kept me fit both physically and mentally! i only started slow and over time as i became more fit and confident, i slowly increased my kilometres one by one. for the first three years, my limit was 10k and i was totally satisfied with that. the thought of running any further placed fear back in me so i didn’t push it any further. then towards the end of last year, i started being cheeky and got to 12k, within a few months i’d reached 15k and then the seed was planted…a half marathon could be achievable! i got in contact with my cardiologist who has always been very happy with my progress and gave me the green light to enter the gold coast half marathon…it was finally going to happen! but of course i couldn’t wait that long so a few months ago i ran my first one by myself in the streets of my suburb and ran it in 1 hour 57…first goal achieved under 2 hours! this set a benchmark for me when it came to the event. leading up i was very happy with my training. everything had gone to plan and bit by bit i was chipping away at my pace. i was as ready as i’d ever be! we are so lucky to have wonderful friends who live on the start and finish line and gave us their apartment for the weekend. i will forever be grateful for that. it made the morning of the race so calm and easy! the kids were so excited to see me run and were more nervous for me than i was! and god bless them they said several times…”we hope you win mummy!” lol they looked at me a little weird when i explained to them that i was racing myself no one else:/ lol i was so excited that race day was finally here!!! a few days before, the anticipation of the race was starting to kill me! the weather was absolutely amazing, not cold at all, perfect weather actually to run a half marathon! i was again very lucky to get a good spot about 100m from the start line. this helped in getting a good start which is what i wanted. it took about 1 minute to get to the start line and then once i clicked my watch to start it was game on! the first kilometre was slow – 5.20 mins, i normally like a 5-5.05, but you have to expect that when you are running along side thousands of people! my second kilometre made up for it – 5.02 and i was well on my way then. for the first 7 kilometres i was maintaining 5.10-5.15 kilometres which i was surprisingly happy with. my first goal was to reach 10km in 52 minutes – tick that was done! i was so happy to have reached 11k by 58 minutes and as i looked up, the 1 hour 50 minute pace runner was only a metre from me. 1 hour 50 is my dream time and for a moment there i thought i may have had a chance!! i hit a bit of a wall quite suddenly at around 13k. between not having my tunes in my ear and grabbing cups of water from the drink station i was losing concentration. mind you at 13k – 1 hour 8 mins, i had made my first pb. the pbs kept rolling out then for every kilometre after that until i reached the finish line! eventually the 1 hour 50 pace runner became a speck in the crowd lol, but when i reached 17k at 1 and half hours which was my second goal, i knew my final goal was achievable. as i took my last sip of water and all my fuel was taken, i put my head down and ploughed through the last 4k as best as i could. once i saw the apartment we were staying at, i knew that i had to hold on as my family would be waiting to cheer me on. i always get excited as i’m getting close to finishing, especially when i know i’m about to achieve the time i’m aiming for. as i got closer and closer to the finish line i knew the running mums australia (rma) tent was in sight and as i ran past and heard the cheers from all the wonderful ladies, it steered me on to run as fast as i could to the end. i was going fast, hundreds of people lined the roads and i’d conditioned myself that i probably wouldn’t see my family. but with a call of my name i looked up and there they were…what a moment! i was so excited to see them and high fiving my babies was a definite highlight! seeing my family made the last 300m the easiest i’d ever run. as i looked down at my watch at 21.1km i’d reached it at 1 hour 53 my final goal of the race. i did it, i really did it…4 mins off my pb!!!! crossing that finish line was a moment i’ll never forget. who would have ever thought me, who hated long distance running when i was younger and was a sprinter and netballer, can now say i’ve run a half marathon…twice…and i’ve already got my sight set on another. i now know i do have it in me to run my dream time of 1 hour 50 and i’m not giving up until i do! i use to run with fear after i was diagnosed with a dilated aorta and if i was never diagnosed with my heart condition i probably would never have started running. it turns out, my heart condition has been a positive experience for me…i do not fear it anymore, it only keeps me focused! this whole experience, from the first day i decided to run a half marathon to the moment i crossed the finish line has been the best experience of my life. i’ve achieved things i thought would never be possible. my mental strength is as strong as it’ll ever be and physically…i can run a half marathon, need i say more! i encourage anyone who wants to start running or exercising of any kind to start now…you won’t regret it! exercise is such an important part of our bodies health and well-being – you really have nothing to lose! the benefits far out way the alternative and all you have to do is believe and remember anything is possible if you put your mind to it! it’s a week on now and i’ve recovered so well. my legs were sore for a couple of days and my first run back was quite slow and easy lol, but i’m ready to tackle a new challenge! i’ll be having a break from any marathon training at this stage until i have my next heart scan in august and see my cardiologist. next week, i’ll be starting a new running/exercise routine which will assist in preparing me for a 10k twilight race i’m entering in september….the kids loved every bit of the gc airport marathon, they want to start entering to! it makes me so happy that the kids look up to me as a good role model. if i can teach my children to set goals, work hard and those goals will be achieved, then i’m satisfied my job as a mum is being done! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in fitness tagged exercise, fitness, gold coast half marathon, running close call…. posted on june 8, 2015 by natalietrew 2 i would consider myself a thrill seeker. one who loves adventure and isn’t scared by much – other than creep crawlies!! but on saturday, for the first time in my life, i saw my life flash before my eyes and it was far from thrilling and i was scared out of my wits!! i set out for my normal weekend long run at 6.15am. it was a cold quiet saturday morning where traffic was concerned – clearly people had the right idea to stay in bed all snuggled in the warmth. i had 15k in front of me to get through. i had no expectations other than to not stop and get it done. as i set off i was feeling good. i was reaching each kilometre within 5.15 – 5.30 minutes and i had plenty to think about and good tunes to listen to so the kilometres were ticking by quickly. before i knew it i was into my 5th kilometre and making a good time. i was at the part of my run where i was about to cross a main road to take me back into the back streets of runcorn, to head towards home for my fuel! as i looked to check for traffic, i had nothing coming to my right and only one car coming towards my left. i crossed the first part of the double lane road to the island and waited for the car to pass me. as the car, which was in the outside lane when i first looked passed, i stepped out onto the road to cross the remaining road. what i didn’t realise is that the car had changed lanes!!! i shit myself!! if i had of taken another step or a wider stride, the car passing would have taken me out. i can’t believe how close i came to being hit by a car! i was so dirty at myself. it was completely my fault as i hadn’t looked for a second time to double-check where that one single solitary car was. there wasn’t another car in sight. i felt bad for the driver who didn’t communicate at all with me and just kept driving. i made a split second wrong decision which could have done some serious injury to me or even cost me my life! for a moment all that went through my head was omg, f$&@, omg, that was so close, f$&@, i’m so lucky!!!! then for the next 15 minutes my life seriously flashed before my eyes and i realised how serious that could have been. what if luck wasn’t on my side? what would have my life turned into? my children…they may not of had a mother, my husband a wife! i felt scared, frightened, fragile and still so angry at myself that i would put myself in this situation. i ploughed through my 15k and never stopped like i planned. but i was shaken, annoyed and embarrassed. i’m an adult and should know better. i’m a mum and should be more vigilant. when i came home and told kane i required cuddles, lots of cuddles and i coped the constructive criticism on the chin from my family and i took the cuddles from my babies all day. i learnt a valuable lesson from my run and close call. life is here not to be messed with and no matter what never leave anything up to chance. you have to make sure everyday all your ‘t’are crossed and all your ‘i’ are dotted. i will always thank my lucky stars that someone was looking over me on that cold crisp morning in winter…must of been my guardian angel…must of been my nana! my message to everyone….be careful, be vigilant and always be cautious! cuddles from my babies were a calming comfort after my close call…my wake up call!!! share this:emailtwitterfacebooktumblrpinterestlike this:like loading... posted in fitness tagged careful, fitness, mum, running, safe post navigation ← older posts search recent posts out of our control tourette’s syndrome awareness week 😍 the final piece of the puzzle! time is of the essence! calling it! archives october 2016 may 2016 october 2015 september 2015 august 2015 july 2015 june 2015 may 2015 april 2015 march 2015 february 2015 january 2015 december 2014 november 2014 october 2014 september 2014 june 2014 may 2014 march 2014 february 2014 january 2014 december 2013 november 2013 october 2013 september 2013 august 2013 july 2013 june 2013 may 2013 april 2013 march 2013 february 2013 january 2013 december 2012 november 2012 october 2012 september 2012 august 2012 july 2012 june 2012 may 2012 april 2012 march 2012 categories cake decorating craft design & decorating family fashion fitness friendship health housewife me parenting recipes teaching uncategorized meta register log in entries rss comments rss wordpress.com catagories cake decorating craft design & decorating family fashion fitness friendship health housewife me parenting recipes teaching uncategorized blog stats 39,757 hits follow blog via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. create a free website or blog at wordpress.com. send to email address your name your email address cancel post was not sent - check your email addresses! 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