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Titlemightygodking dot com

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Description christopher bird talks about whatever the hell he wants to talk about.

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Keywords mightygodking, comics, film, politics, canadian politics, canada, photoshop, parody, humour, humor, comedy
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the 2016 rspw awards – full results
a lot of well-meaning people don’t understand single-payer healthcare
the 2015 rspw awards (theszies) – call for votes
this is well-intentioned, but bad
call for nominations: the 2016 theszies (rspw awards)
dino de laurentiis: prophet…or madman?
so now what?
film analysis
let’s go over this one last time: a guide for americans not voting for hillary clinton
the republican monkey’s paw
why marvel and i don’t hang out much anymore: an interview with myself
being right has never been so depressing
marvel movies: the abridged edition
things i love about comics: doctor demonicus
don’t blame pc, blame poe
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strong
december 31, 2016
hi, justin, thanks for sitting down with us.
you’re looking well.
fine, let’s get to it. last time, you said that you “have trouble really connecting with marvel books these days.”
are you reading any of marvel’s current output?
really? i would’ve thought mark waid writing an avengers book would be an easy sell, at least. we love waid, as i’m sure you know.
so what’s wrong with the books that you’re not buying them?
i don’t understand
okay, i guess. so what do you mean by, “it’s not you, it’s me,” exactly?
you should have warned me you were going to use algebra. okay, fine, what are some of these “y” values?
“balloons.”
“thought balloons,” not thought bubbles. john byrne says—
watchmen doesn’t use narrative captions or thought balloons.
have all the status quo shakeups over the past couple of years put you off?
so…basically, it’s not like it was when you were a kid?
well, isn’t that kind of…i mean, that’s such a whiny thing to say.
i feel like you’re losing the plot with this algebra thing. can you explain it a different way?
well, what are the things you like about superhero comics? what is your platonic ideal of the genre?
wizard. really? that’s kind of embarrassing.
oh sure, i’ll edit that out. so you’d like modern comics if they were more like bronze age comics?
but don’t you miss out on the “newness” of it? i mean, you know how the stories all end, basically.
what do you mean?
that’s not a criticism? it seems dismissive.
but your tastes haven’t changed at all, it’s the tastes of the market. so it is the books that have changed, not you
so is that it for you, then? are you never going to buy a new marvel comic again?
it still seems like you’re retreating into the past and not leaving yourself open to new things. remember when you were a kid and you thought it was lame when adults didn’t like to try new music?
that is a chilling analysis of your life.
that seems…healthy, i guess.
oh, i don’t even know anymore.
b
december 31, 2016
hi, justin, thanks for sitting down with us.
you’re looking well.
fine, let’s get to it. last time, you said that you “have trouble really connecting with marvel books these days.”
are you reading any of marvel’s current output?
really? i would’ve thought mark waid writing an avengers book would be an easy sell, at least. we love waid, as i’m sure you know.
so what’s wrong with the books that you’re not buying them?
i don’t understand
okay, i guess. so what do you mean by, “it’s not you, it’s me,” exactly?
you should have warned me you were going to use algebra. okay, fine, what are some of these “y” values?
“balloons.”
“thought balloons,” not thought bubbles. john byrne says—
watchmen doesn’t use narrative captions or thought balloons.
have all the status quo shakeups over the past couple of years put you off?
so…basically, it’s not like it was when you were a kid?
well, isn’t that kind of…i mean, that’s such a whiny thing to say.
i feel like you’re losing the plot with this algebra thing. can you explain it a different way?
well, what are the things you like about superhero comics? what is your platonic ideal of the genre?
wizard. really? that’s kind of embarrassing.
oh sure, i’ll edit that out. so you’d like modern comics if they were more like bronze age comics?
but don’t you miss out on the “newness” of it? i mean, you know how the stories all end, basically.
what do you mean?
that’s not a criticism? it seems dismissive.
but your tastes haven’t changed at all, it’s the tastes of the market. so it is the books that have changed, not you
so is that it for you, then? are you never going to buy a new marvel comic again?
it still seems like you’re retreating into the past and not leaving yourself open to new things. remember when you were a kid and you thought it was lame when adults didn’t like to try new music?
that is a chilling analysis of your life.
that seems…healthy, i guess.
oh, i don’t even know anymore.
i
december 31, 2016
hi, justin, thanks for sitting down with us.
you’re looking well.
fine, let’s get to it. last time, you said that you “have trouble really connecting with marvel books these days.”
are you reading any of marvel’s current output?
really? i would’ve thought mark waid writing an avengers book would be an easy sell, at least. we love waid, as i’m sure you know.
so what’s wrong with the books that you’re not buying them?
i don’t understand
okay, i guess. so what do you mean by, “it’s not you, it’s me,” exactly?
you should have warned me you were going to use algebra. okay, fine, what are some of these “y” values?
“balloons.”
“thought balloons,” not thought bubbles. john byrne says—
watchmen doesn’t use narrative captions or thought balloons.
have all the status quo shakeups over the past couple of years put you off?
so…basically, it’s not like it was when you were a kid?
well, isn’t that kind of…i mean, that’s such a whiny thing to say.
i feel like you’re losing the plot with this algebra thing. can you explain it a different way?
well, what are the things you like about superhero comics? what is your platonic ideal of the genre?
wizard. really? that’s kind of embarrassing.
oh sure, i’ll edit that out. so you’d like modern comics if they were more like bronze age comics?
but don’t you miss out on the “newness” of it? i mean, you know how the stories all end, basically.
what do you mean?
that’s not a criticism? it seems dismissive.
but your tastes haven’t changed at all, it’s the tastes of the market. so it is the books that have changed, not you
so is that it for you, then? are you never going to buy a new marvel comic again?
it still seems like you’re retreating into the past and not leaving yourself open to new things. remember when you were a kid and you thought it was lame when adults didn’t like to try new music?
that is a chilling analysis of your life.
that seems…healthy, i guess.
oh, i don’t even know anymore.
em december 31, 2016
hi, justin, thanks for sitting down with us.
you’re looking well.
fine, let’s get to it. last time, you said that you “have trouble really connecting with marvel books these days.”
are you reading any of marvel’s current output?
really? i would’ve thought mark waid writing an avengers book would be an easy sell, at least. we love waid, as i’m sure you know.
so what’s wrong with the books that you’re not buying them?
i don’t understand
okay, i guess. so what do you mean by, “it’s not you, it’s me,” exactly?
you should have warned me you were going to use algebra. okay, fine, what are some of these “y” values?
“balloons.”
“thought balloons,” not thought bubbles. john byrne says—
watchmen doesn’t use narrative captions or thought balloons.
have all the status quo shakeups over the past couple of years put you off?
so…basically, it’s not like it was when you were a kid?
well, isn’t that kind of…i mean, that’s such a whiny thing to say.
i feel like you’re losing the plot with this algebra thing. can you explain it a different way?
well, what are the things you like about superhero comics? what is your platonic ideal of the genre?
wizard. really? that’s kind of embarrassing.
oh sure, i’ll edit that out. so you’d like modern comics if they were more like bronze age comics?
but don’t you miss out on the “newness” of it? i mean, you know how the stories all end, basically.
what do you mean?
that’s not a criticism? it seems dismissive.
but your tastes haven’t changed at all, it’s the tastes of the market. so it is the books that have changed, not you
so is that it for you, then? are you never going to buy a new marvel comic again?
it still seems like you’re retreating into the past and not leaving yourself open to new things. remember when you were a kid and you thought it was lame when adults didn’t like to try new music?
that is a chilling analysis of your life.
that seems…healthy, i guess.
oh, i don’t even know anymore.
Bolds strong 29
b 29
i 29
em 29
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the 2016 rspw awards – full results http://mightygodking.com/2017/02/22/the-2016-rspw-awards-full-results/
mgk http://mightygodking.com/author/admin/
interactive fun time party http://mightygodking.com/category/interactive-fun-time-party/
the rspw awards / the theszies http://mightygodking.com/category/interactive-fun-time-party/the-rspw-awards-the-theszies/
wrestling http://mightygodking.com/category/wrestling/
here http://mightygodking.com/the-2016-rspw-awards-the-best-awards/
here http://mightygodking.com/the-2016-rspw-awards-the-worst-awards/
here http://mightygodking.com/the-2016-rspw-awards-full-ballot-results
no comment http://mightygodking.com/2017/02/22/the-2016-rspw-awards-full-results/#respond
a lot of well-meaning people don’t understand single-payer healthcare http://mightygodking.com/2017/01/09/a-lot-of-well-meaning-people-dont-understand-single-payer-healthcare/
mgk http://mightygodking.com/author/admin/
health care http://mightygodking.com/category/health-care/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
december 22, 2016 https://twitter.com/awgaffney/status/812031547087921152
far less than the media might have you believe http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2017/01/heres-truth-behind-obamacares-horror-story-deductibles
costs more for no reason other than it costs more http://www.vox.com/a/health-prices
turn it into a wedge issue http://www.torontosun.com/2016/09/15/mayor-hec-deserves-shot-at-beating-cancer
successfully lobbied for extended treatment schedules for their kids https://www.thestar.com/news/queenspark/2016/06/28/ontario-pours-200-million-more-into-autism-care-in-response-to-parents-anger.html
politically popular http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2017/01/obamacare
19 comments http://mightygodking.com/2017/01/09/a-lot-of-well-meaning-people-dont-understand-single-payer-healthcare/#comments
the 2015 rspw awards (theszies) – call for votes http://mightygodking.com/2017/01/09/the-2015-rspw-awards-theszies-call-for-votes/
mgk http://mightygodking.com/author/admin/
interactive fun time party http://mightygodking.com/category/interactive-fun-time-party/
the rspw awards / the theszies http://mightygodking.com/category/interactive-fun-time-party/the-rspw-awards-the-theszies/
this-is-awe-some (clapclapclapclapclap) http://mightygodking.com/category/this-is-awesome/
wrestling http://mightygodking.com/category/wrestling/
- http://cromwell.mightygodking.com/index.php/115493?lang=en
here http://cromwell.mightygodking.com/index.php/115493?lang=en
2 comments http://mightygodking.com/2017/01/09/the-2015-rspw-awards-theszies-call-for-votes/#comments
this is well-intentioned, but bad http://mightygodking.com/2016/12/15/this-is-well-intentioned-but-bad/
mgk http://mightygodking.com/author/admin/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
oh-so-special that they can’t in good conscience vote for hillary clinton http://www.vox.com/2016/11/6/13540504/electors-electoral-college-washington
resigned https://www.texastribune.org/2016/11/28/texas-republican-elector-resigns-over-trump/
introducing reams of emergency legislation to take away the governor’s traditional powers and give them to the gerrymandered legislature they still control https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/12/north-carolina-special-session-republicans-roy-cooper/510731/
all of this https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dzoz3y6d8g_mnxhnmjyaz1b41_cn535au5usn7lj8x8/preview
29 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/12/15/this-is-well-intentioned-but-bad/#comments
call for nominations: the 2016 theszies (rspw awards) http://mightygodking.com/2016/12/08/call-for-nominations-the-2016-theszies-rspw-awards/
mgk http://mightygodking.com/author/admin/
interactive fun time party http://mightygodking.com/category/interactive-fun-time-party/
the rspw awards / the theszies http://mightygodking.com/category/interactive-fun-time-party/the-rspw-awards-the-theszies/
wrestling http://mightygodking.com/category/wrestling/
this form https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1faipqlscb2dv3kpen3gkp2mljhub1vw1vjjwpa04qgchzlqhzkfdwmg/viewform
here http://mightygodking.com/?p=10144
here http://mightygodking.com/2016/02/24/the-2015-theszies-rec-sport-pro-wrestling-awards-results-post/
here http://mightygodking.com/2015/02/19/the-2014-theszies-rec-sport-pro-wrestling-awards-results-post/
here http://mightygodking.com/2014/02/21/the-2013-rec-sport-pro-wrestling-awards-final-results/
here http://mightygodking.com/the-2012-rspw-awards-the-best-awards/
here http://mightygodking.com/the-2012-rec-sport-pro-wrestling-awards-the-worst-awards/
here http://rspw.org/awards.html
2 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/12/08/call-for-nominations-the-2016-theszies-rspw-awards/#comments
dino de laurentiis: prophet…or madman? http://mightygodking.com/2016/12/02/dino-de-laurentiis-prophet-or-madman/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
bad comedy http://mightygodking.com/category/bad-comedy/
film/tv http://mightygodking.com/category/filmtv/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
7 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/12/02/dino-de-laurentiis-prophet-or-madman/#comments
so now what? http://mightygodking.com/2016/11/25/so-now-what-2/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
51 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/11/25/so-now-what-2/#comments
film analysis http://mightygodking.com/2016/11/18/film-analysis/
justin zyduck http://mightygodking.com/author/jzyduck/
everything's better with nazis! http://mightygodking.com/category/everythings-better-with-nazis/
film/tv http://mightygodking.com/category/filmtv/
6 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/11/18/film-analysis/#comments
let’s go over this one last time: a guide for americans not voting for hillary clinton http://mightygodking.com/2016/11/04/lets-go-over-this-one-last-time-a-guide-for-americans-not-voting-for-hillary-clinton/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
https://www.vote.org/early-voting-calendar/ https://www.vote.org/early-voting-calendar/
72 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/11/04/lets-go-over-this-one-last-time-a-guide-for-americans-not-voting-for-hillary-clinton/#comments
the republican monkey’s paw http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/28/the-republican-monkeys-paw/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
17 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/28/the-republican-monkeys-paw/#comments
why marvel and i don’t hang out much anymore: an interview with myself http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/24/why-marvel-and-i-dont-hang-out-much-anymore-an-interview-with-myself/
justin zyduck http://mightygodking.com/author/jzyduck/
comics http://mightygodking.com/category/comics/
conversations http://mightygodking.com/category/bad-comedy/conversations/
19 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/24/why-marvel-and-i-dont-hang-out-much-anymore-an-interview-with-myself/#comments
being right has never been so depressing http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/14/being-right-has-never-been-so-depressing/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
politics http://mightygodking.com/category/politics/
22 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/14/being-right-has-never-been-so-depressing/#comments
marvel movies: the abridged edition http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/07/marvel-movies-the-abridged-edition/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
comics http://mightygodking.com/category/comics/
film/tv http://mightygodking.com/category/filmtv/
flicks http://mightygodking.com/category/flicks/
13 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/10/07/marvel-movies-the-abridged-edition/#comments
things i love about comics: doctor demonicus http://mightygodking.com/2016/09/23/things-i-love-about-comics-doctor-demonicus/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
comics http://mightygodking.com/category/comics/
9 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/09/23/things-i-love-about-comics-doctor-demonicus/#comments
don’t blame pc, blame poe http://mightygodking.com/2016/09/16/dont-blame-pc-blame-poe/
john seavey http://mightygodking.com/author/jseavey/
politics (other) http://mightygodking.com/category/other-politics/
the internets http://mightygodking.com/category/the-internets/
7 comments http://mightygodking.com/2016/09/16/dont-blame-pc-blame-poe/#comments
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popcrunch.com http://www.popcrunch.com/the-14-best-comic-book-websites/
jenn http://seperis.livejournal.com/
- http://mightygodking.com/al-rashad/
andrew foley http://andrewfoleywritesthings.blogspot.com/
dan solomon http://www.dansolomon.com/
elizabeth graham http://artnouveauho.livejournal.com
jaime weinman http://zvbxrpl.blogspot.com/
justin zyduck http://wyattearp2999.blogspot.com
karen whaley http://www.sayitwithpie.com
matthew johnson http://www.zatrikion.blogspot.com/
will entrekin http://willentrekin.com/
wendy white http://sassamifrass.livejournal.com
bad comedy http://mightygodking.com/category/bad-comedy/
books http://mightygodking.com/category/books/
comics http://mightygodking.com/category/comics/
david suzuki says you're bad http://mightygodking.com/category/david-suzuki-says-youre-bad/
flicks http://mightygodking.com/category/flicks/
gaming http://mightygodking.com/category/gaming/
i should write dr. strange http://mightygodking.com/category/comics/i-should-write-dr-strange/
i should write the legion http://mightygodking.com/category/i-should-write-the-legion/
intellectual property http://mightygodking.com/category/intellectual-property/
it's the youtube http://mightygodking.com/category/its-the-youtube/
law http://mightygodking.com/category/law/
muzak http://mightygodking.com/category/muzak/
nothing else fit http://mightygodking.com/category/nothing-else-fit/
photoshopp'd http://mightygodking.com/category/photoshoppd/
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the internets http://mightygodking.com/category/the-internets/
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a handy introduction (read this first!) http://mightygodking.com/a-handy-introduction/
about christopher bird http://mightygodking.com/about/
i don't need your civil war http://mightygodking.com/i-dont-need-your-civil-war/
i should write the legion (the original 30) http://mightygodking.com/i-should-write-the-legion/
same old, same old: teen titans#24 http://mightygodking.com/same-old-same-old-teen-titans-44/
harry potter and the deathly hallows, so you don't have to read it http://mightygodking.com/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hallows-so-you-dont-have-to-read-it/
very naughty edition: ultimate power #2 http://mightygodking.com/ultimate-power-2-very-naughty-edition/
‘aqoul http://www.aqoul.com/
4th letter http://www.4thletter.net/
andrew wheeler http://thepostgameshow.com
balloon juice http://balloon-juice.com
basic instructions http://www.basicinstructions.net/
blog@newsarama http://blog.newsarama.com
cat and girl http://catandgirl.com/
chris butcher http://comics212.net/
colby file http://colbyfile.blogspot.com/
comics should be good! http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
creekside http://creekside1.blogspot.com/
dave’s long box http://daveslongbox.blogspot.com/
dead things on sticks http://heywriterboy.blogspot.com
digby http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/
enjoy every sandwich http://www.skippystalin.com/
ezra klein http://ezraklein.typepad.com
fafblog http://fafblog.blogspot.com/
galloping beaver http://thegallopingbeaver.blogspot.com/
garth turner http://www.garth.ca/weblog/
house to astonish http://www.housetoastonish.com/
howling curmudgeons http://www.whiterose.org/howlingcurmudgeons/
james berardinelli http://www.reelviews.net/
john seavey http://fraggmented.blogspot.com/
journalista http://www.tcj.com/journalista/
kash mansori http://streetlightblog.blogspot.com/
ken levine http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/
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22 feb the 2016 rspw awards – full results posted by mgk published in interactive fun time party, the rspw awards / the theszies, wrestling welcome to the results of the 2016 theszies / rec.sport.pro-wrestling awards. this year we had 717 voters participating. as always, for next year we encourage all of you wrestling media people to nominate yourselves and your favorites, and try to get your fans out to vote for you. fair is fair! as always, thank yous to justin henry, christopher robin zimmerman, herb kunze and all those who have previously run the awards and contributed to their legacy; everybody who chipped in to promote the awards; all of you voters, of course; and finally and most importantly an extra-double-sized thanks to mgkdotcom’s tech guy, james young, without whose invaluable assistance these awards would almost certainly have failed to be anywhere near as successful and user-friendly as they in fact were. the “best” award results can be found here. the “worst” award results can be found here. finally, full ballot results for all awards can be found here. thanks for voting, and we’ll see you next year! no comment 9 jan a lot of well-meaning people don’t understand single-payer healthcare posted by mgk published in health care, politics i see a lot of sentiment from american liberals and lefties that the united states needs single-payer healthcare, e.g.: 16/ among the three remaining choices — gop-care, obamacare, and single payer universal healthcare — the last is the winner. — adam w gaffney (@awgaffney) december 22, 2016 now, i understand being frustrated with the american healthcare system. but i think – as a person who considers themselves to generally be a member of the left side of the aisle – that one of the reasons i am left-wing is because i think facts are important and it is likewise important that my political opinions be based on factual output. and a lot of liberals – like this guy here – use the phrase “single-payer” like it means “a solved healthcare system” or “what most of the modern world uses” and neither of these things are true. and i say that as someone who lives in a country with an actual single-payer system! so, let’s go question-and-answer for a while. what is single-payer healthcare? it is a healthcare system where either the sole or primary provider of health insurance and/or healthcare is the state. if you get sick, you go to the doctor, you flash your health card (a card that confirms your enrollment in the single-payer healthcare system) and you get treatment. some systems may require you to purchase supplemental healthcare insurance for certain elements of healthcare provision. and this is basically what everybody but the united states uses, right? oh, heavens no. canada, the uk, norway, sweden and finland are about the only countries that use anything close to the mental conception most americans have of “single-payer,” and even all of these countries have some digressions from how single-payer traditionally works. speaking as a canadian, here is a short list of things our “single-payer” system doesn’t cover: prescriptions, dental care, vision/optical care, home care, ambulance use, and doctor’s notes. you will note that those are some pretty big gaps there. most first-world countries have a sort of mix of private and public care to achieve universal healthcare: japan pays for 70% of everybody’s healthcare expenses up to an individual limit, but it’s on individuals to pay the other 30%. (japan historically manages this by strictly limiting user fees, but shinzo abe seems determined to rework their system entirely so this summary may be out of date within six months of its writing.) it also requires citizens to have personal health insurance, although it maintains an insurance fund for those who cannot afford their own. italy has a system of public hospitals which everybody can use, but also a system of private hospitals which require insurance. spain does much the same thing. france achieves universal care by requiring all citizens to enroll in health insurance plans, which are provided by a small number of national-level non-profit private insurers who deduct their fees from your paycheque and a national fund for the poor/elderly/indigent/etc. germany has about 130 government operated “sickness funds” – government-regulated insurers – which cover about 90% of the population, including everybody who makes less than 50k euro per year, and a system of private insurers who cover the other 10%, who are mostly the upper-class. australia and new zealand have fairly explicit two-tier systems: medicare-for-all, but better-medicare-if-you-pay-for-it systems. the netherlands requires everybody to get private insurance, which is highly regulated so as to avoid insurer abuse. …some of those sound sort of like obamacare. but obamacare seems sort of bad. what’s the difference? well, a few things. (and we’ll continue to call it “obamacare” rather than “the aca” because, despite the inaccuracies, why not.) firstly, obamacare was designed to have a medicaid expansion for poorer people who couldn’t afford insurance on their own. many states, however – mostly controlled by republicans – decided that they didn’t want to expand medicaid but that they still wanted the for-profit insurance subsidies, and sued over this. the supreme court sided with the states, because it had a majority of partisan conservatives on it. this created an insurance gap in a lot of states where it was least helpful to have one. secondly, obamacare’s general principle was “for people who make too much to be eligible for medicaid, even post-expansion, we will subsidize people who cannot afford insurance so they can buy insurance that is decent.” the subsidies were, bluntly, not quite high enough, and as a result some people (although far less than the media might have you believe) have resorted to buying near-worthless high-deductible plans. third, obamacare does nothing to create true cost controls on healthcare expenses. a lot of healthcare in america costs more for no reason other than it costs more. obamacare did not attack cost controls for a lot of reasons, most notably because republicans weren’t willing to agree to any such thing, and because obama couldn’t get some democratic senators on board for even minor cost controls – most notably joe lieberman, a strong contender for being one of the worst people alive, who utterly refused any “public option” (i.e. a government-run insurer who would force private insurers’s costs downward by offering lower prices) up to and including the idea of expanding medicare to become a buy-in option for anybody who wished to do so (a position he had previously endorsed, because joe lieberman is a terrible person) and as a result obamacare was forced to pass without a public option. it should also be noted that any push for cost controls would provoke holy war with both the insurance lobby and doctors (whose salaries are part of the reason prices are high). and people generally like their doctors. but why didn’t he just go with single-payer – because it was not feasible. there’s been this meme created among the left that obama didn’t try hard enough to pass single-payer, but he didn’t try hard enough to pass single-payer because he had exactly 60 votes in the senate for approximately nine months, exactly the number necessary to pass a filibuster, which meant that he needed every single democratic vote to pass anything since the gop were not going to vote for anything he proposed (up to and including proposals they helped draft, which was the entire point of the “gang of six” negotiations in 2009 – getting the gop to help draft a new healthcare law so it would pass, except they then admitted they wouldn’t vote for it even under those circumstances). which meant, in turn, that conservative democrats like lieberman could hold the entire process hostage. which they were more than happy to do. but we should go with single-payer now, right? speaking as someone in a single-payer system, it is not all bread-and-roses. single-payer systems mean that every medical concern can become political drama because the government ultimately decides which treatments it is willing to pay for. this means that anybody dying of, say, some horrible cancer can suggest that the government refusing to pay for a given treatment which might still be considered experimental can turn it into a wedge issue. it doesn’t have to be life-or-death stuff either; last year in ontario parents of kids with autism successfully lobbied for extended treatment schedules for their kids. single-payer also means that the government has to guarantee a given standard of coverage geographically speaking. that means patients in rural areas need service guarantees. that gets expensive too. and, of course, because single-payer usually means stretching care dollars as much as possible, it does generally correlate with increased wait times for services. not perfectly and not so dramatically as a lot of american conservatives pretend – but it is a pressure more or less inherent to the system. what americans should do is recognize that obamacare mostly does what it set out to do: vastly expand healthcare coverage, most of which is reasonably good coverage. most of what it does is politically popular. the problems with it are relatively straightforward: the subsidies aren’t large enough, the system is still somewhat byzantine and some states are interfering with the medicaid expansion. neither of these problems are unsolvable in and of themselves: increase the subsidy level, for example (and offset it with a new tax of some kind) and you’ve fixed 90% of the problems with coverage, and then can turn your attention to cost controls as the next issue to resolve once everybody has their insurance and is all “this is pretty great.” (well, except for the bit where most of the anti-obamacare animus is actually racially driven. good luck with that.) but for crissake, the left, stop insisting that single-payer is the only way to go. it isn’t. most of the countries with the best for-dollar health outcomes don’t even use single-payer. “single-payer” has become a sort of meme rather than anything meaningful, a way for progressives to show their lefty bona fides by being against the system, man, and isn’t obamacare just a sop to insurance companies by making us pay for insurance? well, yes, but insurance mandates aren’t a new thing: most non-single-payer countries have them, and even most single-payer countries which just take the money out of your taxes directly are usually paying private healthcare providers anyway so it’s almost always a transfer of public money to private concerns. what matters is how well that transfer is regulated and the quality of service received. “single payer” doesn’t really move that needle at all. 19 comments 9 jan the 2015 rspw awards (theszies) – call for votes posted by mgk published in interactive fun time party, the rspw awards / the theszies, this-is-awe-some (clapclapclapclapclap), wrestling update: unfortunately there was a tech snafu almost immediately on our end as a result of an accidental limesurvey mis-save, which was causing the survey to crash on the third page (it was trying to load data that was slightly different than what existed). we’ve fixed the problem by rebooting into a fresh survey, but those of you who had already begun your ballots have unfortunately lost your progress so far and will have to restart the essay (we have updated all links to the survey in this post to reflect the new survey). we apologize for the inconvenience. this is the call for votes for the 2015 rspw (theszie) awards. you can vote here. the theszies are the oldest fan awards in pro wrestling history, going back to 1990 (when mr. perfect quite appropriately won best wrestler and junkyard dog v. ric flair at clash of the champions xi won worst match). they offer a record of wrestling fan opinion lasting decades, and although we may not agree with some awards in retrospect, what matters is that they offer a snapshot of every year of wrestling as the fans loved it. we think that’s pretty cool. as usual, following the nominations period, we have compiled all of the nominations into pulldown menus to make voting faster and easier (since the pulldown menus should include most, if not all, of the most popular candidates for each award), while still allowing for write-in votes for those who don’t see their favorite choices as nominees. we do this strictly to streamline the voting process; this should not be construed as favoritism towards any wrestler for being nominated, as we do not nominate wrestlers ourselves. we have edited the nominations to remove some nominations that we thought were inappropriate, mistakes/errors, or unlikely to get enough votes to justify the nomination, as well as culling the nominations somewhat to make the ballot more manageable (we applied a max nominee count of 30 to most categories). remember, though: if your candidate for an award isn’t nominated, you can always write him in. we’ve also used technology to let you save your ballot and return to it later, if need be. finally, we’ve also given fans the opportunity to include their own commentary on their voting choices for each award or just the state of wrestling in general in 2016. changes this year: no new categories! no deleted categories! for the first time in years, the category count is stable! hooray! there is one minor change, however: due to the cruiserweight classic as well as new japan becoming much easier to stream, we have decided to treat televised/streamed multi-night tournaments lasting longer than three nights (such as the classic or the g1 climax) as “regular shows” rather than “major shows” for the sake of category classification. individual nights within said tournaments (such as the cruiserweight classic finale) still qualify as “major shows.” the deadline for entering votes is february 10, 2017. have fun! 2 comments 15 dec this is well-intentioned, but bad posted by mgk published in politics let me just explain why this is bad, because it is bad on multiple levels and thus frustrating to watch. (i checked out around, oh, moby or thereabouts.) 1.) it is essentially impossible to do. first off, the members of the electoral college – and particularly the republican members of the electoral college – are, to a one, party loyalists. that’s why they became electors in the first place. these are not people you are going to easily peel off from the republican party, regardless of how corrupt, incompetent or awful donald trump is. saying “just thirty-seven of you need to not vote for donald trump” is like saying “you only need to climb thirty-seven mountains.” it is not technically impossible, but for practical intents and purposes given the time frame you are working with, it might as well be. these aren’t democrats, who consider themselves all to be precious flowers and therefore will generate electors who are oh-so-special that they can’t in good conscience vote for hillary clinton. when republican electors felt they couldn’t in good conscience vote for trump, they resigned. 2.) it is mostly pointless because there is no superior option available. at this point it seems worth reminding that the grand plan of the “hamilton electors” (and i love hamilton, but god, i hate the effect it’s had on political discourse sometimes) is to create a situation where the house of representatives gets to determine who will be the next president. firstly, it is worth remembering that the house is republican anyway, and the most likely thing they will do is vote for donald trump anyway, because the gop base loves trump and the gop likely understands that if they were to vote for anybody else to be president they would get slaughtered in 2018 and 2020, because they’d be under attack both from the democrats on the left1 and from trump and his loyalists on the right. but let’s say the house decides to vote for somebody else other than donald trump. you’re not going to get anybody reasonable. you’re not even going to get jeb bush or mitt romney, who would be a right-wing conservative president but maybe not totally wreck everything. you’re going to get mike pence, who is a christian dominionist in all but name and will pass laws to make it legal to discriminate against gays whenever and wherever, or you will get paul ryan, who will work overtime to completely destroy the social safety nets of america in favour of tax cuts for the rich, or you will get marco rubio, who actively advocated for a muslim registry harder than donald trump did, or you will get john kasich, who will pass anti-abortion laws throughout the country. and really, any one of these people will give you all of those things, plus destroying civil rights, environmental protections, labor laws and giving you as many far-right supreme court justices as they can possibly manage while gerrymandering districts and killing voter protections as much as possible to ensure that their system of minority rule can remain intact. no matter what happens with the electoral college, the next president will be a disaster for anybody who cares about the rule of law, because the gop as a whole actively does not consider anybody to the left of lindsay graham to be allowed to govern. you’re already seeing this in north carolina, where the gop lost the governorship and the supreme court and reacted by introducing reams of emergency legislation to take away the governor’s traditional powers and give them to the gerrymandered legislature they still control. you saw it for six years of the gop congress under obama, ending with their refusal to even vote on (much less confirm) his supreme court nominee. now that they have power, they’re going to actively work to cement their stranglehold on political control, regardless of the fact that they’re less popular than the actual majority vote by far. yes, trump will be worse than any of the other options, because he will be personally and systematically corrupt, and because he will be much more disastrous on foreign policy as tyrants seek to buy him off (and that will happen). but in the end, trump’s move to fascism will simply be overt, as opposed to the stealthy fascism the gop will institute, and frankly, it’s probably going to be easier to oppose if it is overt. finally, 3.) it is antidemocratic and democratic principles matter. let’s be honest: if the tables were switched and clinton had won the ec but lost the popular vote, and trump was personally campaigning to have electors switch the vote because he won the popular vote, we would rightly call that deplorable. the election of 2016 was conducted under a set of rules to which all parties agreed2 and trump won under those rules.3 the fact that the electoral college has an escape switch that is archaic and has not been used in literally centuries does not mean anybody should seek to use it, regardless of whatever the fuck alexander hamilton wrote about it. remember: alexander hamilton also helped design the electoral college working under the impression that political parties wouldn’t exist, which was one of the stupider things he believed, so maybe let’s not be those people who fetishize what the founding fathers wrote because they got a lot of shit just wrong. there’s no easy way to say this: you either care about the rule of law or you don’t. as a liberal, i care about the rule of law because i think it is important for people to have the opportunity to self-determine how they are governed. that’s literally the entire point of democracy. when i see my fellow libs and lefties growing despondent because donald trump won a minority of the popular vote and effectively only won on technicalities and now will move to seize power, i can understand that because it’s saddening. it actively hurts to recognize that the other side of the political spectrum has finally abandoned all pretense of comity or political principle and become motivated solely by the opportunity to exercise power. but that doesn’t make me want to abandon rule of law. it doesn’t make me want to abandon my principles. i believe in democracy and no feeble maga-hat wearing motherfucker is going to make me think differently about that.4 and if you’ve given up on democracy, i don’t know why you’re wasting time supporting this fucked up “hamilton electors” plan; you might as well just go get a rifle and start picking your targets, because if you’ve decided that all that matters is the exercise of power, you’re effectively just che guevara in nicer clothes. important: do not go get a rifle and start picking targets, for crissake. that was hyperbole. instead of that, and instead of the stupid electoral college plan, what you and all other lib/left americans should be doing is, well, all of this. use your voice proactively to build towards 2018 (not 2020, 2018 – the governorships and congress matter tremendously right away for protecting voter rights and preventing gerrymandering), and start right now. you know this can work, because the tea party used exactly these same tactics to overwhelm the gop and turn it into a permanent clown college. there is no reason not to do the same, except for much better and more productive and fairer ends. go on. do the work. well, hopefully; it’s the democratic party and we should never underestimate their capacity to try to be reasonable and work with the other side no matter how terrible the other side is. [↩] granted, there was not a lot of choice about the agreement, but consenting to work within a system is de facto consent to it. [↩] do not even start with the recount thing. if there was any chance the recounts could actually have turned things around, the clinton campaign would have been on them like white on rice. [↩] as a canadian i of course extend this disgust towards kellie leitch wholeheartedly. fuck you, kellie. you’re the goddamn worst. [↩] 29 comments 8 dec call for nominations: the 2016 theszies (rspw awards) posted by mgk published in interactive fun time party, the rspw awards / the theszies, wrestling this is the call for nominations for the 2016 theszie awards. to nominate candidates for all categories, you may use this form. nominations are due by december 31, 2016. to see a list of current nominees, click here. finally, to see previous years’ results, click here for 2015, here for 2014, here for 2013, here and here for 2012, and here for most historical awards. 2 comments 2 dec dino de laurentiis: prophet…or madman? posted by john seavey published in bad comedy, film/tv, politics last night, i took my son out to a revival of the…classic? yes, let’s say classic, for a given value of the word…1980 ‘flash gordon’ movie. i was enjoying the heck out of it, as i do every time i watch it; the movie hits that exact sweet spot of camp and sincerity, where everyone knows what they’re doing is silly and they exaggerate all their performances but at the same time they’re treating the silliness of the material with respect. (my kid loved it too, although i was surprised to remember just how scary some of those scenes can be to a ten-year old.) but as i was watching it, i started to notice that…well, look. there’s no way to be watching a film right now about a tyrannical, capricious madman who has grown decadent with a lifetime of power, treats women as playthings and concubines, and has an equally jaded and debauched daughter that he has a…complicated…relationship with, and not think of the current political climate. i found myself picturing donald and ivanka at the inauguration, watching the protesters, and ivanka asking, “why is water coming out of their eyes?” with donald, of course, responding, “it’s what they call tears. it’s a sign of their weakness.” likewise, i’m pretty sure that donald and melania’s wedding vows actually included the line, “do you, donald the merciless, ruler of the universe, take this woman melania to be your trumpess of the hour?” “of the hour, yes.” i’m not quite sure where everyone else fits into this prophetic scenario, though. klytus seems to be pretty obviously pence. it’s just possible he could be bannon, but i don’t think bannon’s that calculating. kala is obviously kellyanne conway. which would make prince barin…jared kushner? definitely all the rulers of the kingdoms of mongo are prominent republicans who are being played against one another to keep them from uniting against trump, but i’m not sure you can assign any particular role to any particular prince. if nothing else, i just cannot fucking picture paul ryan shouting, “representatives…diiiiiiiive!” (but i can picture them responding to a request to team up against trump with, “‘team up’? what does that mean?”) of course, this is tremendously illuminating in terms of what it means for trump’s plans for america. “…they won’t be the same human beings. they’ll be more docile. tractable. […] let’s just say they’ll be satisfied with less.” (i don’t know if the earthquakes and tidal waves will be literal, but given trump’s stance on climate change i’m not yet willing to rule it out.) on the other hand, it looks like there’s a distinct possibility that mike pence will be impaled on a bed of spikes sometime in the next four years, and conway will literally melt. so we’ve got that to look forward to. what does all this mean? i’m not sure. but if the quarterback for the new york jets decides to run for president in four years, i’m voting for them even if it seems like political suicide. because it’s not suicide, it’s a rational transaction. (also, if trump does get re-elected, he probably shouldn’t do any appearances right in front of a big picture window. just sayin’.) 7 comments 25 nov so now what? posted by john seavey published in politics i’ve thankfully never been in a position where someone in my family withdrew all my life savings and entrusted it to a sweaty guy in a cheap suit who promised to triple our money but whose name autocompletes to “con artist” in a google search, all because of a number of vague and shifting rationales that mostly seem to carefully tiptoe around the number of black and latino people working at the bank because they’re totally not racist…but if i had, i imagine it would hit like this election is hitting now. it’s hard to look at my fellow americans the same way. even knowing that hillary won the popular vote, even knowing that voter apathy and voter suppression means that trump garnered no more than 25% of the population’s support, it still just makes me wonder what else i assumed about the fundamental intelligence and decency of the people around me that is wrong. because in the end, that is what everyone got so wrong about trump–we assumed that because he’s such an obvious, piss-poor liar and because he’s left behind such a clear and unmistakable trail of financial ruination of anyone who ever trusted him in his wake, that there’s no way the american people would fall for his lies just because he pandered to their worst instincts. i’ve been wrong about a lot of things, but i don’t think anything has ever hurt this much to be wrong about. i wanted to believe that america was better than this. and we’re not. and now…every day brings worse news. the cabinet that trump is assembling can best be described as “kakistocracy”, the rule of the worst. we have a new secretary of education who wants a repeal of the child labor laws, a secretary of defense with the charming nickname of “mad dog”, a national security adviser who was kicked out of the military for assaulting his staffers, and an attorney general who was deemed too racist to become a judge. by reagan. and let’s not forget steve bannon, the closest we have gotten to a literal nazi in the white house. we can all try to be optimistic, and hope that somehow this assemblage of the least competent human beings ever will somehow cobble together a functional government, but the potential damage here is virtually unlimited. and of course, we have a republican house, a republican senate, and a conservative supreme court. this is the closest we’ve come in a good fourteen years to a rubber stamp for every dumbass idea the republicans have ever come up with, and they’ve gotten a lot dumber over the last fourteen years. well, at least the house and the white house has. the faint hope remaining for sane americans is that the republican majority in the senate is tiny, and many of the more moderate members won’t have to face re-election until 2020 or later and can kick trump’s crazier ideas to the curb. it’s going to be hard to get sixty votes for a lot of trump’s proposals. and john roberts, at least, has no interest in telling stare decisis to get fucked just because the republicans want to overturn settled constitutional law. he doesn’t want to be remembered by history as the 21st century roger taney. but that means that best case scenario, we’re looking at eight years of republican obstruction of good ideas followed by four years of democratic obstruction of bad ideas. which amounts to twelve years of inaction on pressing crises. there’s no way to see this as anything other than a disaster. i’m tired of casting blame over whose fault it was, because in an election this close virtually any factor could have been the deciding factor, but i think that democrats and progressives need to work pretty damn hard over the next four years. we need to make sure that republicans do at least pay lip service to their oaths of office–this will probably at some point involve impeaching trump, who looks to be approaching the presidency with the same mindset that he approaches charity, namely “how can i shovel as much money into my pockets as i can while giving as few fucks as possible about anyone who isn’t me?” i guarantee you, we are less than a year out from a scandal that would have gotten obama thrown out of office so fast his head would spin were the parties reversed. we’ve also got a duty of care to the people around us. there are a lot of vulnerable people right now, in a position where the emboldened racist/sexist/transphobic/homophobic/xenophobic bigots of america feel emboldened to take out their worst impulses on the defenseless. i’m not saying “go out and buy a gun,” here, but be prepared to do things like give to the food shelf at your local muslim community center. make sure your lgbtq friends and family have emotional support, including suicide prevention lines. call your local congressperson every time the republicans try something stupid and don’t be afraid to yell. we can all be an active and present force for kindness and decency in our everyday lives, and there’s never been a time when it’s more needed. but more than that, we have to mount legal challenges to gerrymandering and voter obstruction laws, and we have to make them stick. we have to find candidates that inspire people, not just ones that are capable–and frankly, they need to be candidates who reflect the diversity of the coalition that brought democrats to power. bernie sanders is a great guy with wonderful ideas, but he’s yet another elderly white person who assumes that their progressive credentials authorize them to speak in lieu of actual minorities. (and bluntly, he does so cluelessly–telling black people that their issues are class issues does not fly after tamir rice.) that kind of candidate is not going to cut it in a post-obama democratic party. and we have to say that while reaching out to white trump supporters is all well and good, we are not going to compromise with them on human rights issues under any circumstances. the humanity of women and minorities is not negotiable. of course, just thinking about all that work, all that hate that we have to counter all over again like the last sixty years never happened, all the exhausting effort of once again cleaning up after a republican shitshow only this time on steroids…it’s enough to make you curl up into a little ball and whimper. it’s dispiriting and demoralizing. so one other thing we have to do is give ourselves permission to think about other things sometimes. to let ourselves laugh at the absurdity of it all, even as we rail against the injustice. to every once in a while just not be fair or nice to the opposition even though we stand for fairness and niceness, because sometimes you just gotta call a dumbfuck a dumbfuck to their face. molly ivins said it better than i ever will: “so keep fightin’ for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don’t you forget to have fun doin’ it. lord, let your laughter ring forth. be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. and when you get through kickin’ ass and celebratin’ the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.” so that’s what. we’ve got a screaming dipshit for a president. whatever else we do, let’s at least have a little fun at his expense for the next four years. 51 comments 18 nov film analysis posted by justin zyduck published in everything's better with nazis!, film/tv hello friends. it’s justin again. today, i want to talk about something else. who are the villains in the indiana jones movies? most people would probably reflexively answer—and i would too, if you sprang the question on me—“the nazis.” this is sort of funny because now, fully half of the indiana jones movies don’t have nazis at all. (and if spielberg carries through with his threat to make a fifth one, there will presumably be more entries without nazis than with.) but of course, when we say, “i am a fan of the indiana jones movies,” what we usually really mean is that we love raiders of the lost ark and indiana jones and the last crusade, and we are very fond of the bits of temple of doom that are not actively irritating or offensive, and you take the aspects of kingdom of the crystal skull that you are feeling charitably about at the moment and sprinkle those on top. so the two movies most of us agree are the solid “good ones”—raiders and last crusade—both notably have indiana jones fighting the nazis. there are the many german soldiers that serve as generic cannon fodder in fights and chases, and both movies have a lead nazi officer who is nominally in charge of things but is really just there to look imposing in the uniform and armband. (do you remember those characters’ names? i don’t.) raiders also has toht the gestapo agent, who is the film’s sinister lead henchman in the manner of jaws or oddjob from the world of 007. but none of these characters are what i would call the proper “villain” of the movies—the primary antagonist, the top-billed enemy, the “main bad guy.” not necessarily the bad guy indy fights, but the bad guy indy talks to. the one you want to see get it in the end. in raiders, the primary antagonist is indy’s old rival, rené belloq, the french archaeologist who is helping the nazis recover the ark of the covenant. in last crusade, this role is filled by walter donovan, the american businessman and philanthropist who is secretly working with the nazis to recover the holy grail. to put it another way, the primary antagonists in the indiana jones movies are not nazis, but nazi collaborators. this is a distinction, notably, that both characters insist on themselves. indy asks belloq when he plans to hand over the ark to “your boss, der fuhrer,” and belloq says, in a somewhat dismissive tone: “all in good time. when i’m finished with it.” he sets himself apart here, you see. the nazis want the ark because they think it will make their army invincible. but belloq has his own individual motivation—he wants his “radio for speaking to god” —and when he’s gotten what he wants out of it, he is quite happy to hand over whatever remains to the nazis. when talking to the officers, he refers to hitler as “your fuhrer,” not “my” or “our” fuhrer. he sets himself apart; in his mind, he is not one of them. donovan makes this point at even greater length. as before, indy accuses his enemy of being a nazi—a “stooge,” at that—to which donovan replies: “the nazis? is that the limit of your vision? the nazis want to write themselves into the grail legend—take on the world. well, they’re welcome. but i want the grail itself, the cup that gives everlasting life. hitler can have the world, but he can’t take it with him. i’m going to be drinking my own health after he’s gone the way of the dodo.” like belloq, hitler and the nazis are merely a means to an end for donovan. he does not seem to think very highly of them; in the long term, they will be gone and he will endure. for now, they are merely the ones with the resources he needs and the power he needs, and he will use them to achieve his own objective. the rest of the world, by his own admission, is just collateral damage. donovan seems a bit more ruthless than the occasionally squeamish belloq, but at their core, they have the same belief that they can work with the nazis without becoming nazis themselves. i do wonder if this was an intentional choice on spielberg’s and lucas’ part—the idea that there is evil in the world, but that allowing said evil to work for you while looking the other way is a unique, perhaps even more insidious evil in itself. but of course, in both cases, this is proven to be a delusion at the end of their respective movies. belloq may consider himself apart from the nazis, but he dies standing over the ark at the head of a trinity with toht and the main nazi officer whose name you don’t know. while toht comes to perhaps the most gruesome end of the three, belloq’s exploding head is the most brutal; everyone remembers toht’s melting face, but belloq is the death they save for last. perhaps because it is the most satisfying? donovan comes to his own special-effects-heavy end, aging into a skeleton and crumbling into dust after drinking from a false grail. but when the dust blows away, it exposes the nazi insignia that donovan must have been keeping on his person all this time. in the end, i suppose, the film reveals him for what he truly is and not what he thinks he is. 6 comments 4 nov let’s go over this one last time: a guide for americans not voting for hillary clinton posted by john seavey published in politics okay. it is, officially, the last fucking friday i will have to think about this fucking election one way or the other, and my blood pressure is through the charts and i’m jittery and i can’t even fucking look at fivethirtyeight anymore without having a panic attack. so let’s take a moment to make the last case you will ever need to hear for going out on november 8th and voting for hillary clinton. and because it is the last case, it’s going to be a doozy. ready? 1) trump is the worst major-party candidate ever to run for president. it is, at this point, not an argument. he is a pathological liar, a grifter, a con artist, a crook. he has aligned himself with foreign governments whose outlook is antithetical to the american way of life. he has actual fucking mob ties. he is a serial sexual predator. he has repeatedly and openly advocated for american troops to commit war crimes. he is so thoroughly incompetent and disinterested in becoming competent that the keystone of his foreign policy is an unworkable boondoggle that everyone understands will achieve no realistic or meaningful goal. his tax policy, such as it is, will blow a multi-trillion dollar hole in the national debt. he has forcefully and continuously expressed his admiration of autocratic dictators, and suggested on multiple occasions that he will use the power of the presidency to punish people who he dislikes. he courts white supremacists and racists while parroting their opinions literally verbatim on multiple occasions. he traffics in the most deranged conspiracy theories to the point of inviting their promulgators to his inner circle. he is actively managing a campaign to suppress the votes of people he feels are inclined to support his opponent. he is not simply manifestly unqualified to be president, he is actively and dangerously inclined to treat the presidency as a means to aggrandize his personal wealth and power at the expense of democracy itself. four years ago, i said that while i didn’t think that romney would be a bad president if elected, i thought that he could not be allowed to succeed through a campaign of sheer and unmitigated mendacity. this is incalculably worse. giving the presidency to donald trump would be like letting bernie madoff run our country. it is imperative that he lose the election, by as large a margin as possible so as to remove his potential excuses of “voter fraud”. 2) hillary clinton is actually a very good candidate. at this point, hillary clinton has endured more petty bullshit than any candidate in recent memory, and i say this knowing that we have a man in the oval office who many people still think is a secret muslim who’s planning to take away our guns. (better get on that, barry!) the republicans have been salting the ground against a potential hillary candidacy for a solid twenty-five years now, beginning with her inability to properly bake cookies like a good presidential wife and continuing on to criticize every decision she ever made while holding political office and quite a few that she didn’t, and they’re currently laying the groundwork for impeaching her before she’s even taken office on the grounds that she probably did something bad. (if you enjoyed the 60+ attempts to repeal obamacare, just wait until the monthly impeachment trials!) if you think that the fact that the republicans have been solidly and unrelentingly committing character assassination against her for a quarter-century and your mild dislike of the woman is mere coincidence, you are deluding yourself. hillary is the victim of a smear campaign, and her approval rating only shows that it’s working. is she a little secretive? yes, but no more than could be expected from a woman who’s had her secret service agents write tell-all biographies about her, her husband testify about his sex life in court, and russian spies hacking her assistant’s emails. is she hawkish? no more or less so than any other serious political candidate we’ve ever had in the last century or so because the us has been intertwined with global politics in complicated ways that make it difficult if not impossible to avoid the use of force at times, and neither isolationism nor pacifism is particularly practical as a stance right now. is she corrupt? oferfucksake. no. she’s not corrupt. she is literally being accused of corruption by a man who has made a career out of sticking other people with the losses for his business failures and runs a charity as his personal piggy bank, as part of an elaborate “i’m rubber you’re glue” distraction from multiple pending civil suits against him for fraudulent business practices. don’t fall for it. hillary clinton is an intelligent, dedicated civil servant who is going to do her damnedest to make the world a better place. anyone telling you otherwise is either lying or has been suckered by lies. 3) voting for a third-party candidate helps trump. there are two third-party candidates running this year, gary johnson of the libertarians and jill stein of the greens, about which more later. neither one stands even the tiniest snowball’s chance in hell of voting. if your vote is going from hillary clinton to either one of these candidates, you are reducing the margin of victory for hillary because she loses a vote and trump doesn’t. if enough people do this extraordinarily stupid thing then the margin of victory will go below zero and trump will win, and there is a non-zero chance the human race will perish in a nuclear holocaust. (oh, right. i forgot to mention that under item #1, he has no understanding of military strategy or tactics and apparently thinks that nuclear weapons are an acceptable first-strike option. this is how bad trump is. “nuclear holocaust” is something that gets lost in the motherfucking shuffle.) even if you’re not convinced on a personal level by items 1 and 2, saying “but i want to vote with my conscience” or “i want to vote for the candidate that best aligns with my personal beliefs” is essentially admitting that you don’t understand how math works as a practical option. if the gas company tells you, “you have to pay the gas bill or we will shut your heat off and you will freeze to death,” it is not a practical solution to say, “oh yeah? well i don’t like the gas company, so i’m going to buy a pack of matches as a protest vote!” if your doctor tells you, “you have gangrene in your leg and you must amputate your leg or you will die,” you do not get to say, “it’s so unjust that i only have two options! i think i’m going to get a shot of penicillin instead because i want to send a message!” whether you like it or not, this election is clinton vs. trump. that choice is clear and inarguable unless you are a dumb and/or crazy person. 4) jill stein and gary johnson are terrible candidates. they’re not as bad as trump, because it is literally not possible to be as bad as trump unless a man with quirkily mismatched glasses has nicknamed you “the smiler” and maybe not even then, but they are manifestly incompetent, unqualified, and ideologically fringe on a level that they can only get away with because they’re so obviously not going to win that media coverage of their campaigns has been reduced to, “aww, look! they’re giving a speech just like a real candidate!” anyone who tells you they are voting for either one of these two because they want someone better than hillary either hasn’t done their homework or is a fucking lunatic. gary johnson is backing a tax plan that he quite clearly doesn’t understand and which all credible economists agree is regressive and hopelessly inadequate. he wanted to eliminate the departments of education and commerce, then backed down from that statement on live television while admitting he doesn’t actually know what those departments do. he justified his ignorance of global politics by saying that you’re more likely to go to war in other countries if you know where they are. his own vice-presidential candidate isn’t willing to say on the record that he’s qualified to run the country. jill stein, despite being a motherfucking medical doctor, is spouting bullshit about “toxic mercury” being found in vaccines because she doesn’t want to antagonize her base. she has publicly said that she’s not willing to rule out wifi causing brain damage. her central fiscal policy depends on what she has literally called “a magic trick” to make money suddenly exist, one which absolutely everyone who has ever looked at it has called actual fucking gibberish. oh and her vp appears to be an anti-semite. and even if some miracle happened and these two were elected and proved to be more competent than their stated political stances would indicate, they have fuck-all hope of getting anything done because they have no base in congress. their respective terms of office would be disasters, and no responsible person should vote for them. if you don’t think the democratic party is representing your views, get involved in local politics. if you want a viable third party, work at the local level to stand sensible candidates. but for this election, vote hillary. 5) a write-in is an abstention, an abstention is a vote for trump. again, the trump supporters are going to turn out in force to support their candidate, because they’re all aware this is probably their best chance to get an open white supremacist and misogynist into power who’s willing to use the office to punish women and minorities. there are also people who are going to turn out for him out of a blind obligation to the republican party, who has been derelict in their duty on an unprecedented scale here. but these people are a tiny sliver of this country’s eligible voters. trump cannot win if turnout is high, because he is thoroughly despised. his only hope is if most of the people who despise him are too apathetic to do anything about it. if he can keep his base energized and nobody else shows up, he wins. in case i wasn’t yet clear enough, this is bad. go vote. if you can, do it right now. early voting has already started in most states, and you can go here to find out more: https://www.vote.org/early-voting-calendar/ if you can’t vote now, vote on election day. you will spend four years or the rest of your life, whichever is shorter, regretting it if trump wins. don’t do that. vote, and vote for hillary. thus endeth the passionate advocacy. 72 comments 28 oct the republican monkey’s paw posted by john seavey published in politics there’s been (and i know this will kind of surprise you, but it’s true) a lot of analysis of the ways that the historical arc of the republican party has finally led us to a living elevator fart loudly arguing that we just shouldn’t bother holding the election because he wants to be president. people have talked about economic insecurity, racial animus, anti-washington sentiment, sexism, misogyny, and a party apparatus that seemed bizarrely happy to bend to a knife at their own throats. but one of the things that i think hasn’t received enough attention is the way that the republican victories of 2000 and 2002 paved the way for their eventual disarray and internal strife. if you go back to the immediate aftermath of 9/11, you’ll no doubt remember a country that was pretty solidly united behind president george w. bush. the 2002 elections gave the republicans control of the house and senate, as well as many state legislatures and governorships. karl rove, who was at that time tremendously influential in the party apparatus, decided to use this control as part of an ambitious scheme to give the republicans a “permanent majority”, using detailed demographic information to redraw the political map in a way that made many districts so safe that any republican could win them. (this scheme was furthered in 2010, by an additional round of redistricting, but it began in 2002.) at the time, this seemed like a plan to consolidate republican control for generations to come…but i’d argue that it was, in outcome, a plan to permanently destroy the republican party. and we’re only now beginning to see how devastating it was. because the republicans of the 90s, for all that they were already beginning to stoke the politics of racial resentment and mindless opposition to the democrats on any issue, were also ferociously disciplined in getting their members to fall in line for a unified party agenda. newt gingrich…look, i can’t stand the man. i’m not saying i wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire, but i will say that i probably would if he weren’t. but he was a very effective speaker of the house, and he even managed to work with democrats from time to time on genuinely bipartisan bills. the republicans were not, as they are now, in constant danger of throwing coups against their own leadership for being insufficiently batshit fucking crazy. what changed? simple. back in those days, the republican party had leverage over its own members. republican representatives had to go back to their home districts every two years and campaign, and those campaigns required them both to be reasonably responsive to the needs of their constituents and to stay in the good graces of their party. competitive campaigns cost money, usually more than a representative could raise on their own, and the republican party tended to remember at election time when someone was off on their own criticizing their party leaders and who was a good soldier. that party discipline was frustrating at times, because it meant that democrats couldn’t appeal to the conscience of individual members to peel away their votes on key issues, but it also meant that the party couldn’t be hijacked by rogue factions. rove changed all that. by making safe districts in which republicans no longer needed to worry about re-election, he ensured that the party apparatus had no control over its members. republicans no longer had to care about whether the rnc would support them through a tough campaign, because there were no tough campaigns anymore. instead, republicans now had to deal with competitive primaries, where they faced challengers not from the left but from the right. this was a huge problem, because they’d spent the best part of two decades motivating the base to vote with increasingly paranoid and racist rhetoric in the sure and certain knowledge that they would be selecting the candidates that the base voted for. instead, the base is selecting their own candidates. those candidates are now running in non-competitive seats, and frequently campaigning and voting against the very idea of the party establishment. they believe the rhetoric that was once cynically deployed in service of keeping the legislature in safe hands, and the republicans are increasingly finding that they have no levers to pull to keep them in line. and now that republican extremists are in power, they have more authority and a bigger spotlight from which to promote their positions. this leads to more extremist candidates standing for election, all the way up the ladder to the national presidential race. trump’s defeat of the gop establishment can be directly traced back to this decision to make a “safe space” for right-wingers. the moderates, in the hopes of removing their obstacles to power, may have removed themselves as an obstacle to others instead. ironically, it may be obama who winds up saving the republican party from their own worst elements. he’s already announced that his post-presidential goals are to challenge the republican drawn maps as gerrymandering and force them to create more representative districts once more. perhaps when the ultra-right wingers are forced to contend with actual voters, we’ll see at least a moderate amount of sanity return to the republican party. until then, the redistricting plan seems to be going down in history as a classic example of the old adage, “be careful what you wish for…because you just might get it.” 17 comments 24 oct why marvel and i don’t hang out much anymore: an interview with myself posted by justin zyduck published in comics, conversations hello internetters, it’s justin again, recently returned from a self-imposed comics blogging hiatus, and i wanted to talk to you about marvel comics. what are the odds, right? i didn’t mean to leave it this long; i thought, within a week of my last post, i’d get the follow-up bashed out and posted, but it’s been—gosh, over a month. why the delay? to find out the answer, i called myself up for an interview on the subject. hi, justin, thanks for sitting down with us. no problem, justin. you’re looking well. that is a lie, and you know it, but i understand that you want to be polite. i will accept the compliment, insincere though it is. fine, let’s get to it. last time, you said that you “have trouble really connecting with marvel books these days.” that is correct. are you reading any of marvel’s current output? no, actually. really? i would’ve thought mark waid writing an avengers book would be an easy sell, at least. we love waid, as i’m sure you know. i know! i know. i did actually buy the first issue of all-new, all-different avengers. but i couldn’t really get into it. i tried out the ultimates, too, because i hear such good things about al ewing, and the concept is neat. so what’s wrong with the books that you’re not buying them? honestly? i think this is a case of, “it’s not you, it’s me.” i don’t understand. see, now we’re coming to why this post has been so long in coming. i’ve starting writing it a bunch of times, but i can’t seem to finish. i keep looking for a way into this post, and each way i’ve tried it so far has left me with a “who farted?” grimace about my own ponderous thoughts. i thought maybe the interview format would help me get the words out of my head. you could ask questions and we could see how i arrived at my current attitudes. okay, i guess. so what do you mean by, “it’s not you, it’s me,” exactly? well, most people on the internet with opinions about comics like to believe that we are evaluating things based on solid, critical reasoning, right? “x is not good because y.” and so, when “x” is a comic and it’s not good, you try to solve for “y”. you should have warned me you were going to use algebra. okay, fine, what are some of these “y” values? i mean, there are a lot. for one, i don’t understand why writers don’t use narrative captions and thought bubbles like they used to. “balloons.” excuse me? “thought balloons,” not thought bubbles. john byrne says— oh, never mind, the point is, these are fantastic narrative tools that are really only found in comic books, and people shun them now. i don’t understand why you’d cut yourself off from a tool that helps convey information quickly in a medium where space is at such a premium. watchmen doesn’t use narrative captions or thought balloons. i guess. i mean, i suppose i understand if it’s a stylistic choice. but in the first years of the 21st century, it became gauche to use them, and i don’t think i’ll ever understand why. but you’re right, ultimately it is just a choice. but it’s a choice i don’t like. have all the status quo shakeups over the past couple of years put you off? yeah. i mean, it’s like peter parker is tony stark, and doctor doom is iron man, and several different people are captain america. somebody else is wolverine—it’s a very dc sort of way of doing things. the fantastic four aren’t around anymore. there are a bunch of different avengers teams, and they don’t live in avengers mansion—this is a huge deal to me, actually. it all feels wrong. even the way the books look. the logos aren’t “comic booky.” there’s no corner boxes. everyone’s costume seems over-rendered, with all the seams. computer coloring can do some wonderful things, but i feel like it overpowers the line art sometimes, and line art is what i like about comic art, you know? even the glossy paper. it just bugs me. so…basically, it’s not like it was when you were a kid? basically, yeah. basically. well, isn’t that kind of…i mean, that’s such a whiny thing to say. that’s what i thought too! so i fought it for a long time. i thought, “argh, these guys keep messing it up, they don’t know what they’re doing.” it had to be, right? i had all these “y” values that i thought contributed to “x is not good.” and then one day, i realized—what if “x” is good, and “x” is simply not for me? i feel like you’re losing the plot with this algebra thing. can you explain it a different way? i just mean that…the things that i like about superhero comics—specifically marvel comics—aren’t what marvel comics are about these days. well, what are the things you like about superhero comics? what is your platonic ideal of the genre? well, bronze age marvel comics, right? the bronze age is the best. funnily enough, a big part of the reason i think that is because of wizard magazine in the 90s. people just remember them rigging the speculator market and hyping the crap out of what we called “t&a” books at the time, but those dudes were raised on bronze age comics, and they wrote about how great roger stern’s amazing spider-man run was, and the paul smith issues of uncanny x-men, and walt simonson’s thor, and byrne’s ff. it was actually a huge influence on my tastes. wizard. really? that’s kind of embarrassing. yeah. actually, could you strike that? i want that off the record. oh sure, i’ll edit that out. so you’d like modern comics if they were more like bronze age comics? well, sure, i would. but, here’s the thing. i could spend all my time complaining about how marvel’s not doing it “right,” and whining that the books should be more like bronze age comics. or, you know…i could just buy bronze age comics. there are literally thousands that i haven’t read, right? and if you go to half-price books, you can actually get them cheaper than new comics. i filled out my byrne ff run at half-price books, most of them at only a dollar a pop. but don’t you miss out on the “newness” of it? i mean, you know how the stories all end, basically. i guess. it is kind of a bummer, but i don’t know, even new comics, i don’t feel emotionally attached to them, either, so it doesn’t matter. like, when they kill someone off or whatever, or that thing with steve rogers being a sleeper hydra agent and everybody on the internet flipped out…it doesn’t bother me or make me angry. even big retcons. like, remember when they said professor xavier recruited a whole other team of x-men between what we see in giant-size x-men #1? that bugged me at the time, but it doesn’t anymore. to be honest, they don’t even take place in the same continuity. what do you mean? i have this idea about “the marvel universe,” which—to me—is a fictional spacetime continuum originating with fantastic four #1 in 1961 and collapsing in the first years of the 21st century with new x-men #114. (arguably the end of busiek’s avengers run is the real “end” of the marvel universe, as i reckon it, but morrison and quitely’s first issue is a clearer line in the sand.) this “marvel universe” was a construct that, if you only chose to believe in it, allowed you to view forty years’ worth of comics created by hundreds of hands as a single, unbroken, internally consistent tapestry of events. it wasn’t really, but that was part of the game. that’s why they used to give out no-prizes! anyway, the current marvel comics, i would argue, do not take place in this same “marvel universe,” but rather are comics based—loosely or otherwise—on this fictional history. i mean, all of bendis’ retcons with the illuminati—do any of those characters sound “right” in context? do you believe that they really could have happened between the panels? so they are quite welcome to do whatever they like; it doesn’t affect what i consider to be the “real” stuff. that’s not a criticism? it seems dismissive. i really don’t mean it to be. you know, i meant what i said in my last post about how it’s great that different, more diverse audiences are getting into marvel. like, i’ve heard that young girls like squirrel girl. i don’t get squirrel girl—i mean, i get it, but it doesn’t speak to me. but like, maybe they shouldn’t have to cater to a thirty-two-year-old man all the damn time. so i actually have made my peace with it. none of this is actually a criticism of marvel; it’s not me angrily insisting they’ve lost a loyal customer. it’s my deal that i don’t like the books. that’s what i mean by, “it’s not you, it’s me.” but your tastes haven’t changed at all, it’s the tastes of the market. so it is the books that have changed, not you. well…maybe. but, you know, the last time they were doing things that felt “right” to me was the late 90s, and marvel was bankrupt. (you know, marvel did have a lot of good books in the late 90s, they just got overlooked in favor of the thirty million x-books they were publishing.) they probably wouldn’t be around today anyway if they kept pandering specifically to me and people like me. so is that it for you, then? are you never going to buy a new marvel comic again? no, i mean, i still read some things, in trade and such. waid’s daredevil run was great, really well done. i would even say i loved it. but i enjoy it in a different way than i enjoy what i narrowly define as a “marvel comic.” waid’s daredevil and some random bill mantlo issue of peter parker, the spectacular spider-man both hit the pleasure centers of my brain, but they’re totally distinct pleasure centers. i mentioned new x-men—i think it’s probably the “best” x-men comics have ever been…but they don’t really seem to be of a piece with, say, the claremont/byrne run, even when they’re explicitly referencing it. and i think i enjoy claremont/byrne more. and joss whedon’s run was, again, based on the claremont/byrne comics, but they don’t really “fit” if you put them side by side. it still seems like you’re retreating into the past and not leaving yourself open to new things. remember when you were a kid and you thought it was lame when adults didn’t like to try new music? i have to be honest, i’m getting to that point about music, too. part of this, i think, is being a parent of young children. when your day consists of hey hey what is it why are you crying oh you want some juice okay here is some juice oh you spilled the juice great job, you’re tired at the end of the day and maybe would rather have something comforting instead of spending your few free hours trying something you might not even like. that is a chilling analysis of your life. well, the kids’ll get older and i’ll eventually get time back for myself. but the point is, i think it’s okay to say, “i like the old stuff better”…as long as you don’t insist that the old stuff is better, objectively, somehow. at the end of the day, you’re gonna like what you’re gonna like. i’m quite happy to dive through quarter bins for old comics, and i’m happy that people like the new comics. and i think if you out there in blogland reading this feel the same way, that “they just don’t make ‘em like they used to, dammit,” that you should consider what it is you really want and whether forcing everyone into your own box is the best way to go about it. that seems…healthy, i guess. i think so. unless you were being sarcastic. oh, i don’t even know anymore. 19 comments 14 oct being right has never been so depressing posted by john seavey published in politics after a long stretch of being wrong about how far naked and unashamed xenophobia could take someone in the current iteration of the republican party, it seems like i’m on much firmer ground in predicting donald trump’s path through the general election. i was right in saying that the media have no real interest in promoting trump’s counter-narratives about clinton, because watching the first-ever total implosion of a major party candidate in real time is great television. (notably, his only strong stretch in the polls this entire season was between conway’s hiring and the first debate, when she kept him relentlessly on-script and took away his opportunities to freelance.) more germane to the last week or so, i was also right in thinking that once trump started getting serious media scrutiny, he wouldn’t be able to take the heat. he held off scrutiny on his tax returns, but only because he’s now far too busy defending himself from upwards of a dozen allegations of sexual assault that he essentially confessed to into a hot mike. he’s a hot mess of a disaster of a candidate, and it’s becoming clearer and clearer by the day as his response to virtually every challenge is to flail in an incoherent baby temper tantrum, call his opponents playground slurs, and try to find someone else to blame for his failures. and that brings me to the third thing i was right about. i have been saying ever since trump’s first polling meltdown, shortly after the convention, that if trump got behind in october he would spend the last month of his campaign trying to find someone to pin the blame on rather than trying to win, because trump is a narcissist as well as a misogynist and the preservation of his ego holds a higher priority for him than anything else. he can’t handle losing, he especially can’t handle losing to a woman, and so if he isn’t going to be president then he knows that it must be somebody’s fault. so i knew that october would be a month of donald trump blaming the gop for his failure, simply because they’re the only possible suspects once you eliminate hillary (who, as a woman, simply isn’t capable of beating trump!) i don’t mention this to boast, though. i mention this because i want to make it clear that i really thought i was braced for this. i really did think that i understood what it meant to have a solid month of donald trump running smack into the brick wall of his own incompetence and throwing a month-long pity party for himself with the cameras all pointed at him to catch his miserable, mean-spirited, petty spite in all its magnificent glory. i thought i might even enjoy some of it. oh god was i wrong. this is…this is seriously the most chilling, creepy, horrifying and horrible week of politics we’ve ever had in american history. this is donald trump being revealed as a serial sexual predator, and finding a posse of sleazy apologists who will go out and say, as a hail mary strategy for getting their pal an office that they manifestly have not even considered whether or not he deserves, that the accusations against trump are all lies, slander and misconstruals of innocent comments from over a decade ago and should be ignored…but that bill clinton’s sexual assaults are all the gospel truth from wronged women who have been silenced for over thirty years and disqualify his wife from office. in other words, they’re out there saying, “we can’t afford to have a sleazy, perverted, gross dirty old man getting into the white house. vote trump!” i anticipated that trump would go after his own party. i did not anticipate the sheer, pathetic, unmitigated moral cowardice with which the gop would greet these attacks. i did not expect that after a tape surfaced of the candidate openly boasting about his ability to commit sexual assault and get away with it, followed by a dozen corroborating stories from women in his past, that the response from the republican party would be, “um, yeah, that’s pretty bad, but, um… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯” and while i expected trump would descend into paranoid fantasies to preserve his ego, i really didn’t think we’d get a rally where he flat-out said that hillary clinton was conspiring with “the international bankers” (i’m actually kind of amazed he avoided saying “zionist”) to destroy the united states of america by rigging the election with the help of a complicit gop. i did not think we would get to the point where he literally accused his political opponent of being the devil. i did not think that trump would preserve his fantasies of being a political messiah by literally inciting crowds to revolt in the event that he was not elected. i thought i was braced for a crazy october, but the crazy is now coming thicker and faster than i was emotionally prepared for. and i don’t know when it will stop. at this point, i would be entirely unsurprised if another thirty or forty women come forward before election day; trump has had decades of unrestrained and unpunished privilege in which to assault women, and i’m sure the only question is how many of them are willing to talk about it. and i think that trump will get more and more unhinged as his accounts finally come due. but i no longer feel like i know what it means for a major-party candidate to be unveiled as a grifter and sexual predator with the whole world watching, less than a month before we elect our first woman to the oval office. it’s just too damn motherfucking nuts right now to get a grip on. i guessed some of this stuff in principle, but…in practice, being right about it doesn’t fucking help. 22 comments 7 oct marvel movies: the abridged edition posted by john seavey published in comics, film/tv, flicks so let’s say that you (or more likely, your friend who sent you to this webpage and is dragging you to the doctor strange movie, or maybe the google search algorithm that directed you here) want to get a quick handle on what the marvel cinematic universe is before you go see the movie that’s coming out in a few weeks’ time. and because you only have so many hours in the day, you want to do it without watching thirteen movies in a row. you basically need a quick summary of everything that happened that you can read on your lunch break, something that will let you know what’s going on without having to watch everything at 1 1/2 speed just to fit it all in and winding up convinced that ‘the avengers’ is a benny hill sketch. no problem! gotcha covered. read on! (oh, um, spoilers for the marvel movies, but really at this point you should not be able to complain about spoilers for any of them except possibly civil war and that’s way down at the bottom so you have no excuse. iron man: tony stark is a rich douchebag who makes money selling bombs, but doesn’t feel guilty because he doesn’t drop them. then he gets captured by terrorists and forced to confront the consequences of his actions, and also to build a cool suit of power armor to escape. (the suit also keeps him alive because he got shrapnel in his chest.) he comes back and decides to be nice to everyone while using his power armor to stop bad guys, which ticks off his business partner who hired the terrorists to kill him. business partner builds his own power armor, they fight, tony wins and announces to the world that he. is. iron man! (stinger: samuel l. jackson shows up and says, “hey, wanna join my superteam?”) incredible hulk: bruce banner is on the run from military man “thunderbolt” ross because he tried to recreate the ultimate super-soldier (hint hint!) and it instead turned him into a big green guy whenever he gets angry. he’s hunting for a cure but that isn’t going so great. a british guy offers to help the government catch banner in exchange for some of that sweet sweet super-soldiery goodness, but it goes bad and he becomes an even crazier big green guy. banner turns into the hulk to defeat him, then goes on the run again. (stinger: tony stark tells “thunderbolt” ross, “you know i’m way better at this superhero stuff than you are, right? i’m part of a superteam!”) iron man 2: tony stark is having a crazy bad week. his dad’s friend’s son is trying to kill him because he (the son) thinks tony stole the iron man design, the government wants him to turn over the plans to the suit so they can make more, his business rival justin hammer is trying to steal his designs, and oh by the way he’s dying from heavy metal poisoning because the suit has to be plugged into his chest to keep his heart going. after samuel l. jackson and a cool superspy named the black widow (who’s been posing as his new secretary) give him a pep talk, he busts justin hammer for espionage, invents a new version of the suit that doesn’t kill him, blows up his dad’s friend’s son, and tells the government (in the form of garry shandling) to fuck off. (stinger: samuel l. jackson’s right-hand man, phil coulson, finds out that a big weird hammer is in new mexico. hint hint!) thor: all the norse gods are real and they’re aliens from the planet asgard and all the frost giants and stuff are more aliens. thor, who’s nice (but hot-headed and kind of dumb) gets tricked by his brother loki (who’s a manipulative little shit) into picking a fight with frost giants, so odin takes his powers away until he learns how to control his temper and exiles him to earth. thor, having learned all the wrong lessons, picks a fight with the government to get his hammer back (which is where his powers are) but it doesn’t work because he’s not being good yet. odin takes a nap and loki decides to send an asgardian killer robot called the destroyer to kill thor, but when thor risks his life to protect ordinary people he gets his powers back and wrecks it. he and loki fight and loki winds up cast into the void, fate unknown. hint hint! (stinger: thor’s scientist buddy is invited by samuel l. jackson to study a weird super-science artifact called the tesseract. he agrees…but he’s being mind-controlled by loki!) captain america: the first avenger: flashback time! back in the 40s, ordinary guy steve rogers signed up to test the original super-soldier serum that bruce banner was trying to replicate. he becomes captain america, and hangs out with his best friend bucky and agent peggy carter and tony stark’s dad to fight nazis. meanwhile, a nazi super-science dude called the red skull, who took the same super-soldier serum but got his face melted off because he’s bad, and his sidekick arnim zola, decide the nazis are probably going to lose and form a secret super-science cult called hydra. they use the tesseract that samuel l. jackson will later ask thor’s buddy to study to power their death cult, and cap fights them. bucky dies…apparently (hint hint!) and cap defeats the red skull but is frozen in the arctic for decades until samuel l. jackson finds him. the avengers: loki shows back up and steals the tesseract. he also brainwashes hawkeye, who showed up in ‘thor’ but didn’t do anything, into helping his evil plan to help a bunch of aliens called the chitauri take over the world. samuel l. jackson knows this is bad shit, so he gets black widow, hulk, iron man and captain america to stop them. they capture loki, just as thor shows up to do the same (there’s a big fight because they don’t know thor is a good guy but it’s all cool) but they don’t find the tesseract or hawkeye or thor’s mind-controlled scientist buddy. loki tricks the heroes into fighting each other and escapes in the confusion, and opens a big space portal above manhattan for the aliens to use. the avengers shut down the portal, recapture loki, free hawkeye and thor’s buddy, and return the tesseract with thor and loki to asgard. (stinger: the aliens were really working for an even worse alien named thanos!) (additional stinger: everyone eats shawarma!) end phase one! iron man 3: tony pisses off a crazy terrorist called the mandarin, but it turns out he’s not really a terrorist. he was hired to act all terroristy by a company called aim, which is testing out another super-soldier serum called extremis that can drive people crazy and make them explode as a side-effect. (the mandarin’s bombings are really just people exploding.) tony defeats them and oh by the way he gets surgery to fix his heart, but it doesn’t make him feel better because he was so freaked out by the killer aliens over manhattan that he’s sure are going to come back and kill everyone and he doesn’t know what to doooooooo! thor: the dark world: there are more aliens like the frost giants, but these are dark elves and they’ve been hiding for millions of years waiting for someone to find a super-science artifact called the aether that they can use to unmake the universe because they believe it was really just a bad idea all around. thor’s girlfriend jane finds it. she gets superpowers but it’s killing her, and also elves are trying to kill her and she’s just basically having a bad week. thor and loki team up to stop the elves after they kill thor and loki’s mom, but loki is killed…apparently (hint hint!) thor defeats the elves, saves jane and tells dad odin he’s going to go live on earth and be a superhero, and odin’s like, “sure, fine, whatever.” but it’s because he’s really loki in disguise! (stinger: the aether and the tesseract turn out to be part of a family of super-science artifacts, and the asgardians pawn it off on a weird alien dude called the collector because it would be bad to put them too close together. the collector wants to do just that, though, because he’s a collector.) captain america: the winter soldier: captain america is working with samuel l. jackson and his superspy group shield, but shield is acting all creepily authoritarian and cap’s not down with that. they get worse after a mysterious assassin called the winter soldier kills samuel l. jackson… apparently (hint hint!) and cap goes awol with the black widow to track down the winter soldier despite the orders of cool nice dude robert redford who takes over. surprise surprise, robert redford is a bad guy, shield has been thoroughly infiltrated by hydra thanks to decades of diligent work by arnim zola, the winter soldier is a brainwashed, cyborgized and cryonically preserved bucky, and in just a few days shield is going to bring the ultimate pre-emptive strike on line and kill everyone in the world who would even think about opposing their agenda. but samuel l. jackson isn’t dead so he and cap and black widow and their new buddy the falcon (an ex-soldier with a suit that lets him fly) defeat hydra, kill robert redford and emile zola, and free bucky although he’s so spooked he goes on the run. so does samuel l. jackson, because shield is kind of fubared by hydra and he needs to go undercover to make sure that he can root out all the bad guys. (stinger: some of the bad guys are using loki’s magic staff to make new superpowered people!) guardians of the galaxy: but fuck all that, let’s go to space for a caper flick! star-lord, a human who was abducted by aliens and raised in space, is stealing a macguffin that’s also wanted by crazy space terrorist ronan. ronan is working for thanos and his two daughters, gamora and nebula, because thanos has promised to help ronan kill all his enemies (which is pretty much everyone) if he gets thanos the macguffin. but gamora is sick of her crazy dad and wants to double-cross everyone and sell the macguffin and use it to fund a new life somewhere way the hell away. so she goes to steal it from star-lord, then they both run into bounty hunters rocket and groot, and there’s a big fight and everyone gets locked up in jail. they break out with the help of a revenge-crazed alien named drax who wants to kill ronan, and go to sell the macguffin together to…the collector! it’s part of the same family of super-science artifacts as the aether and the tesseract. but the deal goes bad and ronan steals the macguffin. he realizes it’s a super-science artifact that he can use to get his killing done, and double-crosses thanos. there’s a big fight, and the heroes stop ronan and give the macguffin to a group of space police called the nova corps for safekeeping. avengers: age of ultron: okay, back to the hydra guys using loki’s staff to create supersoldiers. turns out that the magic staff is actually just a cool staff, and all the real power is in the gem in the middle…which is, all together now, a super-science artifact with unimaginable power. after the avengers stop hydra and get it, tony stark decides to use it to create ultron, a robotic protector of humanity that will keep everyone safe from the aliens he just knows are out there…but it goes very wrong and the robot decides to wipe out the human race. he steals the stuff he needs to do it with the help of the supersoldiers hydra created (quicksilver and the scarlet witch), but they betray him and join the avengers, who stop ultron with the help of tony’s second attempt at a robotic protector of humanity known as the vision, although quicksilver dies. oh and by the way it’s around here that thor goes, “gee, isn’t it kind of funny that all these super-science artifacts keep turning up? it’s almost like someone is looking for them!” thor goes to find out what’s up with that, iron man goes off to figure out why he’s so messed up in the head about aliens and is doing so many stupid things, and the hulk just goes off somewhere, leaving cap in charge of the avengers. (stinger: the guy looking for them is thanos!) ant-man: oh and by the way there’s this dude hank who has a shrinking serum and he doesn’t want it to fall into the wrong hands so he hires an ex-con named scott lang to steal it back from an evil corporation. which he does. and scott becomes ant-man. end phase two! captain america: civil war: after sulking for about ten movies, “thunderbolt” ross comes back and says he’s sick of all these superheroes cowboying around and causing massive property destruction and being totally ineffective, because that’s his job. he forces the avengers to submit to un authority, and tony stark comes back to tell everyone they should do it because he can’t be trusted and so neither can they. this rightfully causes a big argument, which would probably not be enough to sustain a whole movie so we get a guy named zemo who hates superheroes because ultron killed his family, who frames the winter soldier for killing the king of wakanda (a country that only exists in the marvel universe) to draw him out of hiding. everyone thinks zemo’s doing this because…well, no, everyone thinks the winter soldier really did it, except cap because he’s loyal to his buddy, and cap thinks zemo did it because the winter soldier knows where a whole bunch more winter soldiers are kept and he’s not quite free of his brainwashing so zemo can make him tell. and also make him kill people. cap decides to help the winter soldier, and gets a team together to find zemo. but iron man gets his own team together, and they have a big fight. everyone gets captured except cap and the winter soldier, and iron man chases them down by himself without telling anyone because he’s starting to suspect that cap was right. but…it turns out that zemo isn’t after more winter soldiers. he’s after proof that the winter soldier killed iron man’s parents so that he can get iron man and cap to fight. they do, their friendship ends, and cap and winter soldier break out the rest of the rogue avengers and go on the run. (stinger: the winter soldier goes back into cryonic sleep in wakanda until he can get his shit together!) now, it’s debatable how much any of this will have to do with doctor strange, because supposedly he deals with all the weird shit that the avengers don’t even know about. but just in case you need to know any of it, now you know it! 13 comments 23 sep things i love about comics: doctor demonicus posted by john seavey published in comics it’s been too long since i talked about comic-book related stuff that just tickles me pink. and i want to rectify that by talking about one of my favorite comic-book villains, doctor demonicus. no, really! i’ll admit, i love doctor demonicus a bit more in concept than in execution. he’s only appeared in a few stories, mostly licensed stuff from the 70s like godzilla and shogun warriors, and he’s never really been used to his full potential…but then again, that’s kind of what i love about him. because doctor demonicus, for those of you unfamiliar with the character (and i don’t blame you) is an evil genius and mad scientist who schemes to take over the world through the use of comic-book style mad science! only, well, he tends to get the kind of results you get in the real world when you try to use mad science. being hit with radiation gave him disfiguring skin cancer, mutating animals into giant monsters just led to rampaging giant monsters all over the damn place, and the island he raised from the ocean depths to be the seat of his new empire a) turned out to be the site of a demonic temple, and b) sank again. (and the un wouldn’t recognize it as a country anyway.) what sets him apart from all the other disposable worldbeaters and mad geniuses of the marvel universe is that he always gets the bad breaks. and he responds with predictable, hilarious impotent fury at the cosmic injustice of it all. i love this idea. i love the idea of a frustrated, pissy doctor doom wannabe who never manages to make any of his schemes work because the laws of narrative don’t recognize him as an a-list supervillain the way they do doom or the red skull, and so he constantly gets screwed over by petty little setbacks and ordinary hassles as much as by superheroes. i want to write a whole series of doctor demonicus, would-be world beater, dealing with random shit that constantly derails his plans for world domination. things like labor negotiations with his evil henchmen going south in the middle of a superhero battle, leading to them all staging a walkout on him just as the avengers arrive. or his plan to forge an alliance with kang the conqueror getting bogged down in the treaty stage because kang insists that as a sovereign of a foreign power (ie, the future) he needs to nail down all the details now to avoid pointless infighting later. that kind of thing. we haven’t seen that–as i say, he’s not really been used much at all, and certainly not by a writer who’s explored that angle. but conceptually, doctor demonicus is just perfect. because he’s such a total failure. 9 comments 16 sep don’t blame pc, blame poe posted by john seavey published in politics (other), the internets despite my statements last week, i did wind up finishing david cross’s book ‘i drink for a reason’. i finally found a way into it by reading it as an educational study in why “edgy” comedy seems a lot less funny to many people than it used to, and why it’s growing gradually less popular. (i’m sure that comedians like cross would say that it’s because “society is getting too pc”, but i’m a big believer in the fundamental truth that only assholes use “politically correct” or “politically incorrect” in anything other than an ironic manner.) the conclusion i’m coming to is that the central joke behind “edgy” comedy is the conflict between the societal expectations for behavior and the way that the comedian treats their open defiance of those societal norms as commonplace and unexceptional. so the humor comes not so much from the fact that they’re being racist, misogynist, transphobic, homophobic, and generally terrible as human beings, but that someone would stand up on a stage and act that way and not expect to be criticized for their horrible behavior. example: there’s a photo in the book of two women i don’t recognize, with the caption, “i fucking hate these two cunts!” the joke is that nobody would simply drop that admission into a random conversation, because nobody is that openly hateful and misogynist. the problem is, though, the advent of the internet has given a voice to a number of people who actually would and actually are. you can no longer assume, as an “edgy” comedian, that people can detect the irony in your vicious misogynistic insults, because there’s no difference anymore between what you say as a joke and what roosh v says every damn day of his life as a serious statement of purpose. you’re essentially trying to argue a form of special pleading, saying, “if you really knew me, you’d understand that this is all deeply ironic,” but you’re saying it to a crowd of strangers who only know you as the fictional persona you present…and who can compare it to any number of real people saying that shit for real. it’s especially problematic when some…probably a lot, let’s be honest…of these “edgy” comedians are kind of assholes about some things, like, say, women in comedy (they’re generally agin’ it) and who try the cousin larry move of giving their honest opinions about some things, their “just kidding” opinions about other things, and waiting to see your reaction before they reveal which is which. ‘i drink for a reason’, to once again use the book as my punching bag, has sections where cross makes fun of anyone who believes in a religion because they’re spending their lives chasing down a delusion about a non-existent god. he also makes fun of midwesterners for all being crystal meth addicts. and he expects people to just “know” when he’s being ironic, because it’s obvious to him, so why isn’t it obvious to us? basically, “edgy” comedy is running into poe’s law like it’s a brick wall. how can daniel tosh claim that it’s a joke when he says that he hopes someone gets raped when there’s a guy running for city office in new jersey on the gop ticket who said the same thing to a reporter writing a story on him? how can david cross differentiate his smug, alienating anger about “pc liberals” from the smug, alienating anger about “pc liberals” displayed by an actual major-party presidential candidate? “edgy” comedians really need to up their game to stand out from the crowd these days. it’s not to say that it can’t be done–sarah silverman manages it by constantly tip-toeing up to the line of admitting that she’s putting on an act, then undercutting her admissions with a fresh round of absurd and callous ignorance. colbert in his old comedy central days used his material to constantly make himself the butt of his joke. even cross and odenkirk, when they worked together on ‘mr. show’, signposted the premise by starting their act with an open admission that they were just doing it to get hate mail. but the days when you could just say something racist and give people an “aw shucks” grin are gone. don’t blame the pc liberals, though. blame the guys like vox day who never understood that it was a joke in the first place. 7 comments next page » search "[o]ne of the funniest bloggers on the planet... i only wish he 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