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Titlegindi vincent - the dish on career, fashion, faith, and family

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fashion is also a way i connect with women. 
fashion is an integral part of my memories. 
fashion is a way i show how i feel and get through tough days and have fun.
for
small miracles await at every corner.
we’re the recipients of small miracles.
your friendship was a miracle-wonder,
even still.
we are committed.
we did 11 years.
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em fashion is also a way i connect with women. 
fashion is an integral part of my memories. 
fashion is a way i show how i feel and get through tough days and have fun.
for
small miracles await at every corner.
we’re the recipients of small miracles.
your friendship was a miracle-wonder,
even still.
we are committed.
we did 11 years.
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skip links skip to primary navigation skip to content skip to primary sidebar main navigationhome about speaking/writing media videos contact gindi vincentthe dish on career, fashion, faith, and familyon community may 20, 2017 by gindi leave a comment today we had a house full to near capacity with laughing kids and parents.  well, really a backyard full.  a community in our space.  i love connecting to a community – at church, at work, in the neighborhood, through the kids friends. it was my favorite kind of day. but even better. for years, i loved hosting parties.  i’ve hosted dinner parties since i got my own place my senior year in college and me and my roommate threw a christmas open house.  they grew more elaborate as i cooked more and had a little more money.  i would prepare for days.  i stopped hostessing, as i’ve written about before, when the triplets came.  life flipped upside down and the house was a maze of gates and foam floor tiles. when i started entertaining again a couple of years ago, it started outdoors with my front yard table.  but as i brought the parties indoors, i returned to my old elaborate ways.  days of planning and cooking and decorating.  themed birthday parties and elaborate easter menus.  as a result, my husband doesn’t love it when i throw parties.  yes, i clean up my piles around the house to his delight, but i can get pretty worked up. that is not community. that is just an outlet for my planner-type a-prove your worth self. today was community.  our end of season baseball party hosted in (or by) the pool on a hot houston may day. i am not kidding when i say i did nothing.  we tidied the house, made easier by a friday housekeeper.  i blew up some emoji beach balls.  my hubby bought all the fixins for the burgers and hot dogs which he grilled out.  everyone else brought everything else. not kidding.  i was utterly relaxed.  no frantic last minute running.  no rushing back and forth around the kitchen for the timed appetizers to appear at the right interludes.  i had a bag of back up tortilla chips and a jar of salsa in case of emergency.  it wasn’t needed.  folks brought fruit and drinks and chips and dips and desserts.  we used paper plates and paper towels.  we had a big bin for trash so it took all of 10 minutes to clean up after nearly 40 people ate.  the coaches handed out baseball trophies to wet kids sitting poolside noshing on cookies. deep sigh of contentment. the reason this is community, over the other hurried nonsense, is conversation.  you can’t make a place for community without space for conversation.  that requires you to be present.  i’m all too often not present with triplet needs and other demands. we aren’t making space for community.  but our kids need to see how important it is to welcome people in.  our kids need to see us laughing and trading stories with other adults.  we need to model healthy community for them and with them. it’s not about the stains on your walls or the broken concrete on your patio.  it’s about finding space, intentionally carving out space, to grow a community around you.  people who show up when you need help.  friends who offer to dance to your rockin’ playlist (that was the only thing i did this morning, spending $$ on itunes making this summer’s best pool playlist).  people who walk in, laden down with their contributions, and say, “what can i do to help?” ah community.  what better time to grow our community than this summer? {the fourth in a series of essays on living.} filed under: random tagged with: communityon fashion may 19, 2017 by gindi 2 comments for beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.  audrey hepburn on fridays, i write about fashion.  why? for starters, i love clothes and shoes and styles and patterns and fabrics.  i’m not an artist but i am a creative.  i can’t create with music or paint.  so i create with outfits and words and christmas cards and party themes. fashion is also a way i connect with women.  this little spot on the blogosphere connects me to women who love to ask what to wear to a garden wedding or how to overhaul their closet. i’ve learned, over the years, how keep fashion from taking me hostage, and there are times i’m at my happiest in a ponytail and pullover. but i also use fashion to help buoy me when i need an extra jolt of confidence.  a big presentation yesterday called for a sleek black sheath, a modern purple blazer, and high heels with beautiful lines. fashion is an integral part of my memories.  when i remember a special moment, i can tell you exactly what i wore. the night bray saw me for the first time, i wore a taupe tweed skirt suit with faux fur collar and knee-high heeled boots.  at the mucky duck, for our first conversation, i wore black leather pants and a long gray sweater with ankle boots.  the day the kids were baptized, i donned a beautiful cranberry dress with buttons and ruffles down the bodice and a full skirt.  for high school graduation, my mom purchased a lovely fit and flare dress with an abstract pattern in blues and purples and greens. i wear long jackets when i speak.  i’m almost 5’10 so there’s something about having a power jacket and heels on to give me the confidence my little introverted heart needs. for years, i’ve tried to find opportunities to wear knee-high boots (tricky in houston).  this outfit was especially precious to me because little bit and i matched.  matching denim dresses, knee high boots, and fox scarves – not my typical ‘style.’  fashion isn’t always work formal for me (even though that’s what i write about most). sometimes it’s these annual pumpkin patch pictures we take to commemorate their birthdays. i embrace bright colors.  i love this shot, not because it’s the prettiest photo of me, because little bit snapped it while i was sitting on the farm’s front porch. if given the chance, ever so rarely, i love dressing up.  (and chairing a gala makes it extra fun to get gussied up!) fashion is a way i show how i feel and get through tough days and have fun. gianni versace once said, “that is the key of this collection, being yourself. don’t be into trends. don’t make fashion own you, but decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way you live.” that’s my key to fashion.  and my love for fashion. individuality.  embracing creativity.  having fun. so you can expect fashion fridays for a while… {this is the third in a series of essays on living.} filed under: fashion fridays tagged with: fashionon small miracles may 18, 2017 by gindi leave a comment it was the worst of times, it was the worst of times… okay, that’s dramatic flare, but it’s hard to say it was the best of times because i was going down in flames. tuesday night, i sent a frantic message to two of my dearest friends via my phone’s voxer app (the lifeline for me and my girlfriends). “i think i’m going to lose it,” i started, always the picture of composure (*snort*), “but you don’t have to help me. you just have to hear me out.” and with that introduction, i was off. this was the second such frantic voxer message they had gotten in one week. i’ve had a lot on my plate lately, an extraordinary amount even for me, and i’ve stopped handling it as well as i should. fortunately, after bad news upon bad news arrived last week, i got a break on friday. my family and i disappeared for three days to a retreat in san antonio where we laid by the pool and did very little of anything. i came back refreshed and ready to go on monday morning, only to have the week rapidly unravel. first up, after several threats, our refrigerator irreconcilably broke down. the temperature gauge read 85° when we arrived back in town. then i had multiple significant work presentations due with little desk time to actually get them done. on tuesday, my mother fell in her home and was unable to get to a phone or the door. i found out because her friend who had run by her house to visit heard her through the door, and none of us had keys. all of this against a backdrop of me leaving for a week-long work trip on sunday which also happens to be my kids final week of school. tuesday night, while preparing to attend our friend’s funeral the next morning, i discovered one boy had lost a shoe with no back up pair to be found and both boys had holes in the knees of their uniform pants, i started unraveling. as i wandered into another lowe’s refrigerator-hunting knowing 45 people would be at our house on saturday for the end of baseball season party, i left my frantic message. but there is always beauty to be found. small miracles await at every corner. and if anything, i’m more able to recognize miracles when i’m struggling most. my mom was okay. they broke a window, got her up, and she called sounding okay. her friends even came the next day to help her put her house back together. a refrigerator, also miraculously, was delivered wednesday at noon. we spent all monday night and tuesday morning without finding a refrigerator. plus, the stores reported saturday was the earliest delivery date (you know, during the party!). then, i walked into lowe’s, having already been there twice, and found an in-stock refrigerator in the brand we wanted (somewhat over budget, but exactly what we wanted) and able to be delivered the very next day because the salesman determined a house with triplets and no indoor refrigerator was an “emergency.” bray found my dude’s missing shoe in the laundry hamper. i drafted my two big presentations and had them to their audience in advance of the meeting. the boys found church pants to wear to the funeral which didn’t have holes. there is still a lot undone. pressure and stress and overall end-of-may busyness that comes to loads of families every year. but small miracles popped up at every turn. and then, at day’s end, a huge miracle.  the kind that is “more than all we could ask or imagine.”  (ephesians 3:20)  more on that at a later date. it’s night’s end.  everyone survived. our crew are all licking a few short-tempered wounds unleashed under pressure, but nothing that will leave a scar. we’re okay. heck, we’re better than okay. we’re the recipients of small miracles. {the second in a series of essays on living.} filed under: random tagged with: miracleson grieving may 17, 2017 by gindi 3 comments my head pounded by this afternoon.  it turns out you can have headaches from grieving.  not even the deeply personal grief like the loss of a spouse or child, but the empathetic grief where you mourn as a community. this morning, we attended the funeral of the baby’s kindergarten best friend’s father.  all the kids played with sweet ethan last year in class and on the baseball field and at birthday parties.  we found out last week his precious daddy was suddenly killed in a car accident.  it was all i could think about last week.  and then this morning, the funeral.  the service was delayed so this wonderful man, who my husband coached our boys little league team with, could donate his organs.  giving life even in death. the reality is i rarely cry in front of my children.  i actually cry less overall now. it struck me this spring after my gallbladder surgery.  i was in so much pain that i stopped, while walking circles around the house leaning on bray, and broke down in tears.  the kids were shocked and surprised because they didn’t know what to make of it.  they just don’t see their parents cry much. why? if we want our kids to process grief and pain in a healthy way, then shouldn’t they see us cry? yet there i sat, on the edge of each of their beds last week, telling them of coach ivan’s death, choking back the tears which probably should have come.  i asked if they had questions.  they did.  we talked about death and god and our faith and how we love others who are hurting. the baby asked if he could attend the funeral.  “mom,” he pleaded, “my best friend’s dad died.  i have to go.”  so i agreed.  the other two asked to attend as well.  bray and i talked about it and both wanted the kids to have attended funerals before they lost a close family member. we wanted them to see grief. so why have i as a mother, maybe all of us as parents, tried to shield my kids from seeing grief?  we try everything we can to keep them from feeling pain, from knowing loss, from knowing what it means to be undone. yet some of the moments which have shaped me the most came from times of great sadness or upheaval.  if we shield our kids from loss, how will they grow empathy and compassion and a capability to hold another person up? so everyone dressed up and filed into the quiet church, filled to overflowing with a community who loved coach ivan or his wife or his boys or his parents. we waited in line.  no one spoke.  and everyone in the church fell apart, including me, when his sister talked about his life.  the kids watched me, instead of her, still processing what it means to see their parent grieve. kids need to see their parents capable of grief.  kids need to learn empathy.  there’s no other way to learn it than by holding another person’s hand and walking next to them. and that’s what they had the chance to do. the baby kept asking, “where’s ethan? i want to see ethan.”  of course, this brave 1st grader was next to his mom in the front row and then walking behind the casket on the way out.  by the time we stepped outside, ethan was safely inside the limo with his mom preparing to go to the cemetery. we stood making small talk with our dear friend, the priest’s wife, and her boy who was part of last year’s kindergarten crew.  she told the three boys ethan was in the limo and they could wave so he would know they came. the boys looked toward the tinted windows of the long black car when the door opened and out ran ethan into the arms of his three friends.  these boys who did soccer and baseball together under the guidance and encouragement of this small one’s precious daddy stood silently in a closed circle, arm over shoulder over arm over shoulder. they unlocked and he ran back to the car.  not one word was spoken but they saw grief and showed compassion. we’re so scared of loss and pain and hurting.  we pray we don’t have to experience it.  but i pray we are more willing to show our kids our sadness.  that we let them see loss.  and that we teach them, like david and jonathan, to love our friends deeply and hold each other up in the hard times. o my dear brother jonathan, i’m crushed by your death. your friendship was a miracle-wonder, love far exceeding anything i’ve known— or ever hope to know. 2 sam 18 {the first in a series of essays on living…} filed under: random tagged with: grievinganother anniversary post may 6, 2017 by gindi leave a comment it’s time for another anniversary post. but in the seven years i’ve been blogging, i’ve learned an important lesson about blogging about marriage (the hard way). early on in my blogging life, maybe because i felt like no one was reading the thing, i wrote more about marriage. if we were going through a rough patch, i might write a thinly veiled story about marriage ‘generally.’  one day, my hubby got a call from someone close to him who asked, “are you guys alright?” ahem. we were, but we’d hit a speed bump which i blogged about ‘generally.’  all marriages hit speed bumps, probably hundreds of them if they last decades. most of them aren’t public, though. so my husband and i talked and agreed that since only one of us was a blogger (and the other one intensely private), i needed to stick to my part of the story and leave his parts off the blog. i write infrequently about marriage for that reason. one exception is the annual anniversary post. because, while i write about many topics, the genesis of this blog was to chronicle our family of five’s journey for our family of five.  yet every year isn’t sunshine and roses.  that can be because of either or both people in the marriage or because of outside circumstances completely out of the control of either spouse. the latter reason is why our year has been hard. probably the hardest since year 7.  that year we gritted our teeth and hung on – illustrating love is a choice not a feeling.  by year 8, we’d come out of the shadows and were stronger for it.  because i blogged during year 7, i went back and looked at that post: don’t let the circumstances of the now fool you into thinking this will be your circumstances in the later.  every day is a new opportunity.  a very wise friend gave me her “three steps” to working through tough spots when she had just gotten through her own tough spots.  i won’t write them all down because she’s going to make a zillion dollars when she writes it out all, but i will share some of her wisdom.  some of her words hinge on the fact that i get particularly anxious about marital challenges because my own parents got divorced.  even though we are both so committed to making this work, and i know the ups always follow the downs, i still have scars on my heart from that divorce.  she shared how you pray for your husband in tough times,  you don’t assign blame, and you surrender: “you are being given the opportunity to learn to love your husband the right way – without fear he will leave you.  you can love him, no matter what he does.  you have to confess any wrong you have done, but you can’t let guilt drive your decisions. your husband didn’t save you.  you have to let the lord free you of your dependency.  this is where it gets really hard, but you must surrender your husband and marriage to the lord.  you tell the lord:  do whatever you must and i know you will sustain me because you want me to find my wholeness in you alone.  i trust in you, lord.  not anywhere or anyone else…  in praying this, you assure your marriage will not end like your parents.  i know that fear is hounding you.  in surrendering to god, like hannah, the lord will honor you.  your heart will be pure and your reverence for him will grow more complete.  the sooner you surrender, the sooner the lord can come in and get his work done.” the sooner you surrender. that’s no fun. but it’s the only place god can work. i remember bray telling me how incredibly hard our last year of infertility was for him. i said, “i rarely saw that.” he replied, “well, i couldn’t really show you because you were so devastated.” such a good man. and it’s true. i was a wreck.  he held it together. but he still suffered enormously.  this year, it was my turn to repay the favor.  it’s been hard, but i was supposed to support him without unraveling.  i haven’t been as magnanimous.  i’ve struggled visibly and lost my patience and let my self control and sense of commitment to others over myself erode. even still. we kiss each other goodbye every morning. we say i love you every night. on days apart, we talk at the end of every day to check in. even in the hard, or even more so because of the hard, we are committed.  we do laundry and meals and he pitches at the boys baseball games and i hold front row seats for the kids spring musical and we go on spring break adventures and we pray with the kids and he tolerates me dancing like a fool to tom petty. we did 11 years. and we will do 11 more.  then 11 more.  until death do us part. filed under: marriage tagged with: anniversarynext page »primary sidebar welcome come on in. i have a reservation just for you. i know life is busy. i would love for us to step out for a relaxing lunch but schedules don't always allow. so let's pop open that salad or sandwich sitting in front of our computers, and we'll have lunch right here. a few minutes is all we need to connect to community. read more subscribe by email e-mail address search this website latest tweets tweets by @justgindi what’s on the menu bible studies dreams faith family 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