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how my marriage helped me understand god’s love language
january 2017 recap and february goals
5 ways of dealing with envy
fulani herdsmen; violence or the way of love?
for those battling with inconsistency and how to overcome it!
happy new year, 2016 recap + first giveaway!!!
are we willing to count the cost?
guest post: tired of being strong
one thing to do to spoil your wife
why do we wait till it’s over?
H3
how my marriage helped me understand god's love language
january 2017 recap and february goals
5 ways of dealing with envy
fulani herdsmen; violence or the way of love?
for those battling with inconsistency and how to overcome it!
happy new year, 2016 recap + first giveaway!!!
are we willing to count the cost?
guest post: tired of being strong
one thing to do to spoil your wife
why do we wait till it's over?
how do you express love? ever thought of what god’s love language is? do you speak his love language?
newsletter sign up
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H4 how my marriage helped me understand god’s love language
january 2017 recap and february goals
5 ways of dealing with envy
fulani herdsmen; violence or the way of love?
#thankfulthursday: delivered from an accident
#becomingmrso: how did we meet?
#becomingmrso: birth day blues
i got married!
H5 expressing love
redefining love
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february:
what was your january like? and what are you hoping to achieve this new month?
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happy wife, happy life.
some people are suffering and you’ll never know because they suffer in silence
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© 2016  the counter culture - a lifestyle blog
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home
lifestyle
videos
photography
marriage
counter culture challenge
about
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events i attended:
lowest moments
book i am reading:
one lesson i learnt
february:
what was your january like? and what are you hoping to achieve this new month?
changed web host and designed a new blog
started vlogging seriously
highest number of clicks
learnt a new skill
challenged myself and failed
happy wife, happy life – unknown
pay attention
pay attention
says
doesn’t say
happy wife, happy life.
some people are suffering and you’ll never know because they suffer in silence
why do people wait till it’s all over before the speak up? i am curious! 
© 2016  the counter culture - a lifestyle blog
i
home
lifestyle
videos
photography
marriage
counter culture challenge
about
business goals
events i attended:
lowest moments
book i am reading:
one lesson i learnt
february:
what was your january like? and what are you hoping to achieve this new month?
changed web host and designed a new blog
started vlogging seriously
highest number of clicks
learnt a new skill
challenged myself and failed
happy wife, happy life – unknown
pay attention
pay attention
says
doesn’t say
happy wife, happy life.
some people are suffering and you’ll never know because they suffer in silence
why do people wait till it’s all over before the speak up? i am curious! 
© 2016  the counter culture - a lifestyle blog
em home
lifestyle
videos
photography
marriage
counter culture challenge
about
business goals
events i attended:
lowest moments
book i am reading:
one lesson i learnt
february:
what was your january like? and what are you hoping to achieve this new month?
changed web host and designed a new blog
started vlogging seriously
highest number of clicks
learnt a new skill
challenged myself and failed
happy wife, happy life – unknown
pay attention
pay attention
says
doesn’t say
happy wife, happy life.
some people are suffering and you’ll never know because they suffer in silence
why do people wait till it’s all over before the speak up? i am curious! 
© 2016  the counter culture - a lifestyle blog
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home lifestyle videos photography marriage counter culture challenge about home lifestyle videos photography marriage counter culture challenge about home lifestyle videos photography marriage counter culture challenge about how my marriage helped me understand god's love languageread morejanuary 2017 recap and february goalsread more5 ways of dealing with envyread morefulani herdsmen; violence or the way of love?read morefor those battling with inconsistency and how to overcome it!read morehappy new year, 2016 recap + first giveaway!!!read moreare we willing to count the cost?read moreguest post: tired of being strongread moreone thing to do to spoil your wiferead morewhy do we wait till it's over?read more articles, lifestyle, marriage how my marriage helped me understand god’s love language i love love. or atleast, the idea i had in my head before i got married. after i got married, i soon realised that i needed to get my head out of the clouds, erase all the expectations and purge myself of the ideas hollywood had planted in my mind. it was time for work. expressing love looking back at my friendships and romantic relationships over the years, i would call myself a fierce-heady-romantic lover. i used to think that the proof of my love for someone/something is writing about it, talking about it and telling the person about it. so, naturally when i started the journey with christ, that was my way of expressing my love for god. i would talk about it alot, say it to him in worship and in conversations and write about it. this also happened in my journey to marriage, but my husband was not having any of all that romantic anything, i would wonder “how cold can a person be?” soon enough i began to understand. redefining love about 3 years ago, my paradigm of religion and christianity started shifting. from reading the bible by myself with the lens of jesus christ, i started seeing things from a whole perspective. while unlearning alot of things, i started battling with most of my ideologies and in-between all that inner turmoil was the time i got married. i started struggling with my expectation of romantic love, what my husband understood love to be and what i was learning from god’s word. on my part; love had to be head-in-the-clouds, fierce, intense and romantic. you know, how it is painted to me. (i don chop lie tay tay sha) his part and what i was learning; love is not just talk, it’s not what you feel. it’s action based, i cannot claim to love you and leave you the way i met you. we should not just be better people by reason of the union, love must be whatever we do in light of the other person’s eternity. you can imagine all the conflicting ideas and how much friction it created. we had issues understanding each other and this affected alot of things. it affected how we related with each other, trust issues and having more fights than we could afford. something had to give. refocus “not every one that saith unto me, lord, lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my father which is in heaven. many will say to me in that day, lord, lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? and then will i profess unto them, i never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” matt 7:21-23 ever since i stumbled on this bible verse, i have always wondered about it. how can one do all these wonderful things and still feel like you are not known? how can you be so expressive and fierce in your love and then still be rejected by the one you thought you love? they don’t just receive love that way and the truth is only the other party can say how he wants to receive love. i struggled with my husband for a while because i just wanted him to see my point of view, but when i decided to really listen i started understanding how he wanted me to understand how he saw love. no matter how grand-gesture, romantic, heady love makes sense to me if that is not how it translates to love for him he will not see it as love.  “loving god means obeying his commands. and god’s commands are not too hard for us” i john 5:3  god’s love language is obedience and no matter how tongue-speaking, demon-slaying, miracle-working, heady, romantic i am about my love for him, if i am not speaking obedience by doing his will, it doesn’t translate to love for him. how do you express love? ever thought of what god’s love language is? do you speak his love language? february 6, 2017by arike lifestyle, marriage, uncategorized january 2017 recap and february goals happy new month people! welcome to the month of love. is it really just me or did january go by so fast? i know it felt long because there were 5 mondays and tuesdays in the month but all the same, it went by so fast. phew. i am just glad we are making progress already. here’s how my january went; personal goals: i didn’t have any written personal goals this year mainly because i didn’t think that i was gonna follow through with them if i made too much ‘fuss’ about the new year. one thing i knew i wanted to achieve was become consistent and not making a big deal about it but implementing the steps in that article mentally has been my way of following through. i mean, i put up 4 articles on this blog, 5 articles on the natural hair blog i contribute for, i am reading a book at the moment and writing more. i know there’s still improvement that can be done but i definitely can see the progress. business goals: it is no news that i work with my husband running a professional photography company. we regularly have a our peak season at the end of the year and january, so that meant that we don’t have christmas and new year celebrations. this 2016 was majorly for travels and i was left with the responsibility of running things while the other half of the team were away and frankly, it wasn’t fun but it stretched me ( i should probable document my lessons). anyways, before they left on their trip, we had a sit down to plan the things we wanted to do for 2017 and put deadlines to it, but because of all the backlog we’ve had to clear, we’re just getting to doing them gradually and hopefully, we hit the ground running this february. but you know when there’s so much to be done that the thought of it overwhelms you? phew! that’s how i feel about all the work ahead, but i am excited nonetheless. events i attended: i went for just one event this month as i am not an event hopper like i used to be. it was a program for couple in business put together by mrs audrey joe-ezigbo. it was an amazing time learning, as the focus topic (hr, staffing and all things related) was something mr o and i had been discussing. i am glad i could make it. lowest moments: my domestic staff leaving and getting a new one that you have to start from the scratch with and also being home alone at the beginning of the year. book i am reading: getting to like – jeremy goldman and ali b. zagat. i am learning alot about personal/professional branding in this book that i am planning to implement on our business pages and for mr o. i have still not finished the book though. one lesson i learnt: after like 2 weeks+ of managing the business by myself, i had a new found appreciation for entrepreneurs that i had to write an epistle on instagram. i learnt this month about the pressures that come with running a business and as i am gradually getting more responsibilities to handle, i am appreciating the work that mr o does and how he takes it all in strides and i understand more things from his perspective. february: i really just want to improve and remain consistent with everything i have started this year i want to be more conscious to seek out opportunities to be generous with my life, not being scared to be vulnerable and being the jesus that people see. i want to seek more opportunities to collaborate with more bloggers and write guest posts or contribute on blogs that are in line with what i stand for. (so, holla if you are interested! ;)) overall, 2017 is off to a great start and even with all the craziness happening in our country and around the world, we stay grateful to god for his mercies and faithfulness towards us all. what was your january like? and what are you hoping to achieve this new month? february 3, 2017by arike articles, inspirational, lifestyle 5 ways of dealing with envy social media has made the world a global village, it comes with fair share of advantages and disadvantages. the fact that you can literally now see and know what is going on in other people’s lives by the click of a button can breed on of the disadvantages; envy. once upon a time if you were not told physically what was happening, there was no way of you knowing but this day and age brings to your attention things that people you don’t even know or have a relationship with are doing in their lives, gradually, one begins to feel discontent with his/her life if it doesn’t measure up to the “standard” that is being set. i saw a question asked by someone online and since it was something i had dealing with, i wanted to share what it is that has helped me in dealing with envy in general. continue reading january 30, 2017by arike articles, misc fulani herdsmen; violence or the way of love? this is a really hard topic to write about as i have conflicting feelings. there’s so much to be said and i am going to go on either side of the spectrum “… i told my people, any fulani herdsmen you see around you. kill him” i cringed when i heard a supposed “man of god” make this statement boldly and initially i was very pissed off and while i still don’t agree with making that kind of statement because it fuels violence and further division that already exists in our nation, i understand why he is angry, i understand the brutality of what these herdsmen are doing around the country but i believe as a person in “authority” with certain type of influence you should know better than to make such statements. my husband is in support of him making those statements because he is also angry, more so angry at the fact that nothing is being done by the government, he also thinks that i would change my mind if it hits close to home. there is no dispute that the acts by these herdsmen is barbaric and downright wicked i still maintain that violence and further division is not the answer. continue reading january 28, 2017by arike goals, inspirational for those battling with inconsistency and how to overcome it! for the past 3-4 years i have spent the last day of the each of the year sleeping into the new year. before then, i had religiously gone to every watch night service, written down prayers for the new year and goals to achieve and by the end of the year will do the same thing over again without much difference in my life. so, i stopped deceiving myself.   don’t get me wrong though, there’s nothing wrong with going for watch night service as long as you understand that it’s the things you do in the course of the year that matter and not just going to shout “amen” to prayers. i have always been big on writing down my goals for the new year but by the middle of the year, i would find the journal i wrote in and wonder what happened. alot of people like me make plans at the beginning of the year but by the end of january our lofty ideas of how the year will turn out would have been overtaken by reality and we are back to business as usual, back to what is convenient. today, we would talk about one of our greatest problems that hinder from achieving those goals; inconsistency. sometime last year, it dawned on me that was one of my biggest problems and i tried to battle it with the october challenge i attempted, i was hoping that my commitment and willpower will help me see it through but i failed because i went about it the wrong way. here are a few tips that i am incorporating into my life to help overcome inconsistency: make a commitment; making a commitment simply means making a decision and sticking by it come rain or sun, most especially when you don’t feel like it. you’d think making a commitment is enough to see you through, but if you don’t change your self image there is a likelihood of you failing. i have always seen myself as a one-off person as against doing something long-term but i realized that as long as i continue to see myself that way, i will not be able to see things through and i would continue to be satisfied with doing things half-way. understand your “why”; one of my unwritten goals is to blog more but i have been largely inconsistent with this blog and i just had to ask myself about my “why?” for wanting to blog and the answer was enough for me to get up and show up. understand your why for every goal you have set to achieve, get to the root of it and let it be your motivation put environmental reminders: put the reminders where you can see it everyday. a schedule, a to-do list, your “why” anything that will remind you to get going. enjoy your process: make sure that you enjoy the process of achieving your goal. if you have to struggle through getting it done, there’s a higher chance that you would eventually get tired of the process and give up. if you don’t enjoy the process, switch it up but just make sure you enjoy the process. get an accountability partner: no one is an island, be interdependent, understand that we are made to function in a community. i have told my husband and a friend of mine to keep in check for some of my unwritten goals when they notice me slacking. the most important thing is that the goals are achieved. don’t forget now is all we have. we are not guaranteed the next moment, so do something now that brings you closer to achieving your goals. ever battled with inconsistency? how did you overcome it? don’t forget to share! sharing is caring. january 9, 2017by arike inspirational, lifestyle happy new year, 2016 recap + first giveaway!!! happy new year to you all!!!!!!!! 2016 was indeed an amazing year. i am forever grateful for the things that happened and while i am not a very huge fan of making a big deal out of a new year, i will be forever grateful because it gives me the opportunity to look back and evaluate. i know nothing magical is going to happen because it’s a “new year” and i have to be the one to make a conscious effort to change whatever it is that needs to change with god’s help and that is exactly what i intend to do in the year 2017 by god’s grace. in the spirit of evaluation, here’s a recap of some of the things that happened 2016; changed web host and designed a new blog: this was a huge step for me and it’s still not exactly how i intend it to be but after my old domain name expires i will fully have counterculture.com.ng as the primary domain name. it was kind of difficult and at the same time not so difficult to make this change because, i knew in my heart that i didn’t want this blog to be about me but for a long time i’ve used my name for the blog and it has evolved to what it is today, however i still want it to evolve into something bigger than me and that is what i intend to work towards this year. so…. if i reach out to you, don’t turn me down 🙂 started vlogging seriously; the youtube channel has always been there with me putting up random videos but in 2016, i started creating better videos and now have up to 20 videos on there. ofcourse the channel is still growing and frankly that is not the goal of the channel but to reach and challenge atleast 1 person to live the life of christ and i intend to continue putting out videos every friday. how to know god’s purpose for your life  had the highest number of clicks in 2016 next to dear christian; hard truths i wish someone told me earlier i have a series titled “chronicles of a church hopper” in my draft to document my experience church hopping between 2012 – 2014. i never got round to finish writing it but my mind keeps going back there. so, if it is something you’d love to see this 2017, let me know! learnt a new skill: i started video editing in 2016 and while it’s not an official business, i’ve earned some money from it. this one thing i want to perfect this year and maybe it will become a business. challenged myself and failed: ah! tried to stretch myself to write everyday for 30 days and i failed. i am so glad that i could still make the attempt to do it and in doing it, i discovered what my problem is and working on a solution which i would share in a new blog post. here’s the challenge and what i could get out of it. i am so grateful for all of these and above all to be a channel of blessing to a few people this past year. i really hope to continue to shine god’s light and in someway or another this blog has helped one reader to know jesus more or challenged one reader to want to know jesus more. in my christmas video, i did a giveaway and i have sent one of the gifts out and i have a couple more with me. if you are interested and in lagos, i have a card with some of the messages that helped me in my walk with christ in 2016 to give out. the card comes with another gift that would be tailored to whoever i am sending to, a book, a journal or anything that i think would suit your personality, just indicate by sending me an email or drop a message for me on any social media platform. here’s wishing you an amazing 2017! i pray that our lives would be characterised by obedience to god this year, we would put our absolute trust in god no matter what comes our way this year and we would be the jesus that people see. happy new year!!!!!!!! january 2, 2017by arike ccchallenge, videos are we willing to count the cost? there is a cost to following jesus. we have been deceived to thinking that our walk with god will be all good but jesus is saying otherwise. join me over the next videos as we see the cost of following jesus. today’s bible verse; matt 16: 24-25 24 then said jesus unto his disciples, if any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 for whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. other reference verses; mark 8:34 & luke 9:23 have a lovely week ahead! october 24, 2016by arike ccchallenge guest post: tired of being strong when you’re tired of being strong when everything looks wrong to the left it’s bleak to the right it’s black tears, pain, sorrow, sticks and stones who comforts the comforter and helps he who has always helped seemingly failed prayers and hopes the light at the end of the tunnel dimming to what end? more questions, less answers enabling the despair fueling the hopeless easier to give up than to continue proof of strength? or fool hardy carrying-on but my path is not of sight not of the senses not of the obvious walking of the insensible strutting of the unfathomable even self is baffled holy one reigns everyday supreme in majesty never diminished in strength never questioned in glory there i find my peace comforter and peace giver gazing continuously at that love amidst the chaos amidst the pain amidst the madness amidst the torture only fixated on the unseen. there you find rest when you’re tired of being strong this was written by my friend mosope oduwole! october 22, 2016by arike ccchallenge, lifestyle, marriage one thing to do to spoil your wife happy wife, happy life – unknown we naturally put our best foot forward before we get married and after you get married, things begin to sizzle out because we are not putting in as much effort as we did in the beginning. it is equally as important after you get married to keep the fire burning. it it the duty of both parties to ensure that they do the work it entails. first let’s talk about our attitude as a couple towards spoiling each other; do not spoil the other person with the expectation of reciprocity. do what you have to do because you want to do the right thing and not because you want it done to you in return. don’t ask! do! sometimes, that takes away from the fun. don’t complicate issues, the little things go a long way have fun. once we have our attitude right, we can go ahead with the action. i know that this is a something both parties have to work on, but i am speaking for the wives in the house today. you’d often hear how complex women are but i would say that we are very simple human beings, easy to understand and easy to get along with, which is why i am sharing just one thing that would do to spoil your wife and trust me, this is a one-size fits all action. pay attention! yes, pay attention! if you really want to spoil your wife that is all you have to do. pay attention to what she says she needs. pay attention to what she doesn’t say she needs. this goes a long way as by paying attention on your part you can learn alot of things, like how she’s extremely tired and needs a massage or how she’s been going on and on about this new movie she wants to see and the list is endless. while there is no one gesture i can tell you that can certainly work for your wife. this one action will definitely help you know what you need to do and what your wife will appreciate per time! remember; happy wife, happy life. october 20, 2016by arike articles, ccchallenge why do we wait till it’s over? some people are suffering and you’ll never know because they suffer in silence hello people, today, i have a question. i understand that life is in phases and we go through different things at different times in this journey of life. what i am curious about is why we wait till the “worst” is over before we can talk about the not so pleasant things that happen to us. i see it happen alot and i experience it too. i understand that some people might say you need time to heal – well depending on the severity of the unpleasant situation – before you can talk about it but i still feel that there’s so much more stress that can be saved when we do share our burdens and solutions can be gotten for something that is not even a problem yet just by speaking up. then again, i wonder. why do people wait till it’s all over before the speak up? i am curious!  october 19, 2016by arike page 1 of 71234»...last » newsletter sign upbe the first to know when there's a new article email * recent articles how my marriage helped me understand god’s love language january 2017 recap and february goals 5 ways of dealing with envy fulani herdsmen; violence or the way of love? like the facebook page twitter stream recent post you might have missed: #thankfulthursday | 511 https://t.co/lo37ebnr46 #misc #thankfulthursdayright nowrecent post you might have missed: life lately: february! https://t.co/o6m61bz9z1 #misc2 hours agorecent post you might have missed: life lately: i don't love god... https://t.co/ihhysdjndu #articles4 hours agorecent post you might have missed: are you over analysing and missing out? https://t.co/79yxvkhecs #ccchallenge #inspirational6 hours ago trending articles #thankfulthursday: delivered from an accident #becomingmrso: how did we meet? #becomingmrso: birth day blues i got married! recent commentsarike on how my marriage helped me understand god’s love languageitunu on how my marriage helped me understand god’s love language@ilola on how my marriage helped me understand god’s love languagearike on how my marriage helped me understand god’s love languagearike on how my marriage helped me understand god’s love languagecategories articles bible study books ccchallenge daily exhortation goals home inspirational lifestyle marriage misc photography stories thankful thursday uncategorized videos connect with us hello, my name is tomi. i am a blogger living in lagos. this should be a closer on my blog so yada yada yada  yada yada yada  yada yada yada  yada yada yada  yada yada yada  yada yada yada © 2016  the counter culture - a lifestyle blog


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